Page 18 of Jackson
He wanted to challenge her negativity, but now was not the time. “You must want something more sometimes?”
“Huh?”
“Come on, Paula. We spent the night together less than three months ago. You’re a sensual woman, and you like sex. Have you been with anyone since then?”
“Well, no, but—” she spluttered.
He couldn’t contain his smile. “Why do you think that is? Maybe our night together meant more to you than just hot sex?”
She swallowed and tried to pull her hand out of his again.
“Paula, stop it.” She stilled, and he felt a rush of power at the way she responded to his command. “Did you like our night together?”
She gave him a look that would have made more than one suspect confess, but he simply held her gaze.
She was the first one to break eye contact. “Yes, damn it, I did.”
Once their contract was in place, the swearing and that tone would earn her a double punishment like a butt plug and a spanking or maybe he should take away her right to wear clothes. He needed to rein in his wayward thoughts. First, he needed to get her on board with the idea.
“Enough to want more?” He hated to ask the question but had to know.
“Yes,” she whispered and looked down her their hands on the table, “but I don’t think we should.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s unprofessional, and when we break up, it will be uncomfortable. Believe me, after my divorce, it became almost impossible to work in St. Louis.” Her voice was steadier now, and she looked him in the eye again. “It got really messy, and I was glad I could start again here in KC. I would hate to be forced to leave and start over again. Besides, I’m a Kansas Citian to the bones.”
“Why would you leave the department?”
“I don’t want to leave. That’s my point. If I stayed, I would be the cold-hearted career bitch, and all the guys would side with you. They would make my life miserable, and I wouldn’t be able to do the job I love.” Her words came out dull and flat.
“Paula look at me.” He waited for her to comply. “If it would make you more comfortable, we could see each other without anybody knowing.”
“You think we can keep it a secret?” One imperious eyebrow slid to her hairline. “I think you underestimate the gossip machine at work. Someone could see us here tonight, and it would be out in the open. If we did do this, whatever ‘this’ is, it would most certainly affect our jobs.”
“If we do this—if you want to do this—we would have a contract between us that defines the parameters of the relationship, including how public we would be. You’re a very competent police detective, and I would not interfere with that.”
“A contract?”
“It’s a very common thing to do. As I told you this afternoon, a BDSM relationship is based on careful negotiation, and most couples would draw up a contract. I’m a Dominant, and have been active in the lifestyle for years, Paula. I would really like for you to try this with me.”
‘I’m a Dominant.’Jackson’s words echoed in her mind.Wasn’t that what Christian Grey had said to Ana before beating her? Okay, Paula, think! What are the facts?Laura, Suzie, and Kate were members of the club, too. Smart, independent women, who seemed happy. James and Connor looked like decent men to her.
“What does ‘active in the lifestyle’ mean?” she asked.
“It means I have a BDSM relationship with the woman I’m with. We have a contract in place, which defines what we will and will not do and how we act around each other.”
“Why do we need to have a contract? Can’t we just have sex?”
“BDSM is about much more than sex.” Jackson sounded like she’d offended him.
“I don’t get it. I thought this was about having sex on a regular basis.” Paula couldn’t understand his reaction—he had brought up the sex part, hadn’t he?
Jackson frowned and opened his mouth twice to speak before saying, “In a committed BDSM relationship, both parties negotiate what they want to include in their contract.” He stroked his thumb over her hand. “Like, if you are a service sub, we would define in what areas you would submit and serve besides the bedroom.”
“Wait, what? Does that mean you think I’m some sort of slave?”
“I don’t know what kind of submissive you are.”
