Page 25 of Defenseless
“I’m worried about you, Sabina,” Chad said, reaching across the table and taking her hand in his. It was the first time he’d ever done something like that, and she stared at his fingers wrapped around her palm. His suntanned skin against her pale Irish tone.
In that moment, she wanted to tell him everything. But after eighteen years of silence, the words wouldn’t come out. Nor was the diner the right place.
“Talk to me, Sabina. You know I can help.”
Her eyes searched his, and she hesitated. A small whirlwind of doubt started swirling in her mind, pulling her different directions. She didn’t want to carry this on her own anymore, but she didn’t want anyone else to get hurt.
Her gaze strayed to the waiter approaching the table behind Chad. In his hand, he carried a plate with a small chocolate cake on it. Her stomach churned at the thought of eating something so decadent. Then it dropped when the waiter brandished a match, waved it over the dessert, and the whole thing caught fire. It was ten feet away, but still she drew back. Away from the imagined heat, away from the dancing blue flames curling around the cake.
Memories she tried not to think about slammed to the forefront of her mind, and suddenly she was back in her college apartment. Nate was lying dead at her feet, and fire was licking the walls. Waiting to consume them both.
They were memories. Only memories. They couldn’t hurt her anymore. Not physically. But even so, she felt the heat, she felt the sparks landing on her skin. She felt the sweat dripping down her body as she tried to pull Nate’s body from the building.
“Sabina?” Chad squeezed her hand. Her gaze jerked to his. “Talk to me,” he said.
Before she even had a chance to think, she was shaking her head. “I can’t.”At least not right now.But she couldn’t bring herself to say that. If she did, Chad would never let it go.
“You can and you will. Sabina, you’re shaking.” He reached up and uncurled the hand she had still gripping the mug. With both of his hands now holding hers, she should have felt comforted; she should have been leaning into him. Leaningonhim. But she couldn’t do it. Not right then and not right there.
She yanked her hands away from his. She’d needed to sever the connection, but even so, she immediately missed it. She’d go home, get her head on straight, pull her files together, then talk to Chad tomorrow.
“Stop hiding and talk to me,” Chad said.
“I can’t.” Again, she didn’t add that she would. She didn’t tell him she needed to be in a better headspace first.
“You can. But you’re choosing not to. Is someone after you? Did you do something that put you on the wrong side of the law? Did you see something you shouldn’t have?What happened, Sabina?”
“Stop!” she said, pushing against the back of the booth, her heart beating a rapid tattoo. “Please stop, Chad. This is making me uncomfortable.You’remaking me uncomfortable.”
The color drained from his face, and he yanked his own hands back. Her brow dropped in confusion. That was hardly the reaction she’d expected. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but it hadn’t been the look of stunned surprise on his face. Surprise tinged with what she thought might be panic, or possibly fear.
He straightened away from her, and holding his palms out in surrender, he pressed even further into his seat.
“I’m making you uncomfortable?” he asked, his voice strained and barely above a whisper.
She sensed there was more to the question than the question itself, but because she didn’t understand what it might be, she gave a shaky nod.
He blinked and looked out the window. He took a few breaths as if trying to center himself, but if anything, he lost even more color.
Then suddenly he was sliding from his seat.
“Chad?” she asked, not knowing what she was really asking.
He shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “I apologize for making you uncomfortable. It wasn’t my intention at all, and it won’t happen again. I can promise you that.”
And with that, he turned and stalked away.
CHAPTERELEVEN
Chad leftSabina at the table and considered walking straight out the door. At the last minute, though, he swung right and headed to where his brother and cousins sat.
“Everything okay over there?” Ryan asked, not even pretending he hadn’t watched the scene.
Chad shook his head. “It’s not, but I’m out,” he said.
Ethan frowned. Ryan and Mitch shared a look that Chad didn’t have the mental space to decipher.
“Out?” Ethan asked.
