Page 34 of Defenseless
Three minutes later, he jogged down the stairs in a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. Turning on the gas fireplace as he passed, he walked to the door and opened it. Sabina must have been looking out into the night, because she whipped around at the sound. Then she froze. Not like a deer in headlights who didn’t know which way to run. But as if she couldn’t believe he’d answered. In some ways, he couldn’t either.
Stepping aside, he gestured her in. She studied him closely then darted in. “Thank you,” she said, rubbing her hands up and down her arms.
He turned and walked back to the large family room. The fireplace wasn’t quite circulating heat yet, but it was on its way.
“Have a seat,” he said, pointing to the couch that also had a throw blanket rumpled in the corner. Not surprisingly, as soon as she sat, she reached for it and pulled it over her lap, tucking her hands underneath. He took a seat on a recliner toward the opposite end from where she’d curled up.
Her hands twisted under the blanket, and several seconds ticked by before she spoke. “I’m so sorry, Chad. When I said those things in the diner, I didn’t mean them the way you think I did. Never, not once, has your presence made me uncomfortable in that way. You’re one of the best men I know. Maybe eventhebest. I just…” She hesitated. “I’ve known for a long time that you deserved to have more from me than I ever gave you. Not because you asked, but because I wanted to give that to you. But my past isn’t just about me, and telling you wasn’t a decision I could make on my own.” She paused again and turned her gaze to the fire. She no longer held her body so tight, nor were her hands fidgeting under the blanket.
“When you came to me at the diner, I’d just been given permission by the other person involved to tell you. I’d made the decision that Iwouldtell you, and I hoped we could figure out the consequences together. But after living with my secrets for eighteen years, silence is not an easy habit to break. And the diner wasn’t the right place to try to break it. I also wanted to show you some of the files I have at home. My tentative plan was to gather all those files tonight and talk to you tomorrow in the privacy of your office.”
She started to twist her hands again. “You kept pushing, though, and I…I panicked. Iwasuncomfortable, and the conversation was making me uncomfortable. But only because I knew what I needed to do—knew what I wanted to do—but you were asking me to do it in a way I wasn’t prepared for. Like a child who hasn’t gotten her way, I lashed out, and you will never know how much I regret it.”
“Ethan told you?” He’d been listening, as Ethan had suggested. His mind even recognized that her words could be true, but his heart wasn’t as certain. Being hurled back to those days all those years ago was a horrifying place to be. And truth be told, he hadn’t recovered from it. Even if he believed her, which he was leaning toward doing, that didn’t mean he wasn’t bruised from the experience.
She nodded in response to his question. “I can’t imagine the pain my words must have caused, and I don’t blame you if this is something I can’t fix. But at the very least, I wanted to tell you that not in a million years would I think of you like that.”
There was nothing but raw honesty in her eyes, and yet he wasn’t ready to respond to her explanation. That didn’t mean he couldn’t get some answers, though. He still believed that it was best for Ethan and the others to take over. But if he knew her truths, it might help his—and probably, her—bruises heal a little faster.
“Would you like some tea?” he asked.
Her eyes searched his face. Then hesitantly, she nodded. She started to shift the blanket off her lap, but he stayed her with a gesture.
“I’ll get it. This time of night, I assume you want mint?”
She hesitated again then smiled. “That would be great, please.”
While the water heated in the electric kettle, he sorted through her words and his feelings about them. He didn’t think he’d overreacted at the diner. In that kind of situation, it was better to react the way he had and be wrong than to remain and keep pushing. But to Ethan’s point, perhaps his own history—and his own fears—had blinded him to any other explanation. And in letting his past experiences taint his present, it had been easy to slide into that pity party his cousin had called him on.
“Here,” he said a few minutes later as he handed Sabina a cup. Retaking his seat, he wrapped his hands around his own mug.
“I owe you the rest of the story,” she said after taking a tentative sip.
“You don’t owe me anything, Sabina,” he said. Hewantedanswers, but not because she felt she owed them to him.
She looked up at him. “You’re wrong, Chad. I do owe you. Not because you’ve asked, but because you’re my friend and someone I trust. And because you’re someone who cares about me. Maybe a little less now than earlier today,” she added with a self-deprecating smile. “I think you still care, though. And even if you don’t, HICC will be helping me so, at the very least, as the director of the West Coast operations, you should know.”
He nodded, not willing to comment on whether he still cared or not. He did. His pity party proved that—if he didn’t care, the events of the evening wouldn’t have bothered him much. But he wasn’t ready to voice that reality.
“Are you familiar with Kevin Jacobs?” she asked.
“The senator from Kentucky?”
She nodded. “Rumor has it he’s going to make a run for president, but we’ll see.” She fidgeted with her mug then turned her attention to the fire. “Eighteen years ago, when he was the attorney general, he murdered my mother. My sister and I walked into the room just after he’d finished strangling her.”
Chad sucked in a breath. “Your sister?” he asked, wanting to clarify that point before she moved on to the rest of what he was guessing would be a long story.
She glanced at him and nodded. “My twin. Kara’s a doctor. She lives in Malibu but travels for work most of the year.”
If someone was after Sabina because of what had happened eighteen years ago, then her sister was likely in danger, too. “Did Ethan…?”
She nodded, knowing what he asked. “Yes, Colton has a couple of buddies down there who were going to check on her. She leaves for Bangladesh tomorrow so should be safe.”
He nodded then waited for her to continue. And when she did, a tale as heartbreaking—and as surprising—as any he’d ever heard emerged. He’d always thought her a strong woman, and now knew just how strong she was. He’d also long suspected she was in danger and unfortunately, her story proved his suspicions right.
She paused after telling him about the moment she and her sister stood together in the middle of the creek, in the middle of the night, and first made the decision to go into hiding. Her gaze took on a vacant look, and he sensed she was reliving those minutes over and over. Chad cleared his throat, and her eyes lifted. “You did the right thing. Running. Hiding,” he clarified.
She gave him a wayward smile. “Most days I think so. Some days, I wonder.”
