Page 80 of Relentless

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She frowned at his vague answer. She had no intention of “going back” from them. She was as committed to him as she would be if they were married. In fact, they’d been living together since the day she’d been discharged and he’d brought her to his home. They hadn’t explicitly broached the subject ofthem. But she’d assumed that was because they hadn’t needed to.

“Did you think I would?” she asked.

A flash of vulnerability passed over his expression. “I’d hoped—Ihope—you won’t. We played an engaged couple while traveling, but we haven’t talked about it since. Honestly…” He paused and looked to be gathering his strength. “I want you to know it never felt fake. Not to me.”

It hadn’t felt fake to her either. She didn’t care whether they married officially or not. But despite his silence on the matter in the past two months, she was beginning to realize that Ethan did.

“It didn’t to me either,” she said.

Relief replaced the vulnerability in his expression. He let out a slow breath. “Good, I’m glad we’re on the same page then.”

She wasn’t sure what page that was other than that they were committed to each other. Then it hit her. “Are you asking me to marry you?”

His brows drew together. “I know that’s the traditional way to go. The bended knee and the diamond ring—”

“Ido notwant a diamond,” she said. “I’ve been to Africa enough to want to steer well clear of the diamond trade.” He smiled, showing his dimple. Damn, she was a sucker for that dimple.

“I figured as much. But even without a diamond, I know the bended knee, a ring, and a question is traditional…”

“But?”

“I never liked that tradition. I’ve always thought that marriage, the lifetime commitment, should be something that a couple talks about. Something they should decide together. I know it’s not particularly romantic. I promise I’ll be romantic about anniversaries and birthdays and other things. But marriage seems too important to not be something we decidetogether. Not that a traditional proposal isn’t something a couple does together, but, well, I’m kind of making a hash of this…”

She smiled then reached over and took his hand. “You aren’t. I know a lot of brides want the proposal story to tell. But I’d rather tell our children and grandchildren about our lives together than just a moment in time. I’d rather them know that we grew to love each other as friends, then more. I’d rather they know we stood beside each other during the hard times and while in danger. I want them to know about the joy we found, and will find, in each other. Compared to all that, a moment, at least one like a proposal, seems insubstantial. Not meaningless, but certainly not more important or meaningful than the commitment we make to each other every day.”

He unbuckled their seat belts, then hauled her onto his lap. It was a tight fit and the steering wheel dug into her hip. But she didn’t want to be anywhere else.

“You’re talking about kids and grandkids,” he said.

A kernel of laughter, of happiness, sparked to life deep inside her then grew until she couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “I know I can’t control everything, but if all things align, I’d like for us to have kids. Grandkids would be up to the kids, of course.”

“How many?”

She thought for a moment. She hadn’t ever really considered having kids of her own. She’d been in hiding up until a year ago, and that kind of life didn’t really lend itself to family. But then a second thought caught her attention.

“It’s been a year,” she said, realizing the importance of the day. She’d wondered why Ethan had been so insistent on coming out to this part of the woods for a hiketoday.

He grinned. “A year ago today you walked into the HICC offices bound and determined to work with your sister to bring your mother’s killer to justice. A year ago today was the first day we met.”

She leaned forward and enticed him into a deep and intimate kiss. Which, in all fairness, wasn’t hard to do. He wasn’t a man who needed convincing when it came to kissing her.

“Seems like maybe we should go home and celebrate,” she suggested.

He kissed her again, then shifted away. “To be clear, we’re agreed that we’re getting married?”

The words felt foreign, but right when she answered. “We are.”

“Soon?”

She leaned forward. “Maybe we can discuss the specifics later?” she asked, her lips brushing against his as she spoke.

“Definitely later,” he said, before slanting his mouth over hers and dragging her into a scorching kiss.

“Home?” she managed to ask as he nibbled and kissed his way down her throat. His hands slid under her shirt, and his thumbs stroked her waist. Maybe she wouldn’t have to wait untilhome.

But then he paused, his breath fluttering across her neck as he exhaled.

“Not yet,” he said.