Ellie huffed an exhale. “Sorry, it’s hard not to get worked up about this. But you’re right, I need to walk through all of this with you because I haven’t been able to do anything about it on my own. The answer to your question is sort of.” She paused and took a sip of her now-tepid coffee. “My therapist is new. My prior one, the one I had for years, retired about nine months ago. My new one came recommended through the Hollywood grapevine. I’ve been with her for about eight months.”
“You don’t seem keen on her.”
Ellie shook her head. “I haven’t spent much time with her. I was doing that film in Canada. Then had those few trips. We’d only had four or five sessions before I mentioned my…concerns.” She paused, remembering that meeting. “Maybe she’s right. Maybe it is just anxiety. But her diagnosis seemed so clinical. And she made it so quickly that it was hard to trust she’d evenheardme.”
“And what did she prescribe you?”
“I don’t recall. I didn’t even bother having the prescription filled. Maybe I should have. But I guess I don’t trust her. She’s not given me any reason not to…”
“But she hasn’t given you any reasontotrust her, either,” Sofia finished, and Ellie nodded.
“She is a psychiatrist, though. So at least the meds she prescribed, whatever they were, were legit,” Ellie added with a sardonic smile. There was no shortage of “healthcare providers” in Hollywood willing to skirt the law.
“Anyone else?”
Ellie shrugged. “Just the usual folks you meet at lunches and dinners. No one I’ve spent any real time with.”
“What about changes around the house?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Harry is still my PA. Ricardo is still my house manager and cook.” Both men had worked for her longer than they’d been a couple. In fact, they’d met when Ricardo came to work for her eight years earlier—eighteen months after Harry had signed on as her personal assistant.
“Cleaner? Gardener?”
“Michael and his landscaping team are still managing the property, and they’ve been with me since I moved into that house five years ago. As for cleaners, Anna’s business has grown, so while she still cleans, occasionally she sends a different team. But she’s worked for me for over ten years, and I’m not the only actor she works for. I may not know all her staff, but I trust her to have it under control.”
Sofia set her mug on the side table and crossed her arms as she watched the flames in the fireplace. After a beat, she opened her mouth, then shut it. Then pursed her lips.
“Say it,” Ellie said. “Believe me, there is very little you can say that I haven’t thought of before. You’re not going to scare me any more than I already am.”
“You may not like it.”
“I don’t like any of this.”
Sofia inclined her head. “Fair enough. But if you agree, I do have an idea that might make it easier.”
Ellie shot her friend a look. “Why don’t you tell me what I’m supposed to agree to first, and then I can decide if we need to make iteasier.”
“I…” Sofia inhaled then spoke in a rush. “I think you need to make sure there isn’t somethingphysicallywrong first. I think it’s important to rule that out.”
Ellie blinked as the implications of what Sofia had suggested crashed through her. All along, she’d assumed what was happening was amental healthissue. What if it was something physical? Like a tumor or cancer. She swallowed. Not once had she considered that.
“Um, okay. You got me. Ihadn’tthought of that, and now I’m even more terrified.”
Sofia cast her a look filled with compassion and support. “I doubt there’s a problem, but don’t you think it’s worth ruling it out?”
Yes, no, maybe. The thought of finding out she had a tumor in her brain, or something like that, wasn’t something shewantedto know. But she needed to. If only to rule it out.
“As scary as that thought is, you’re right. It’s hard to believe you have any tricks up your sleeve to make the process easier, but tell me what you have in mind.”
“Ash,” Sofia said. “I think we need to ask him for help.”
CHAPTER SIX
“Sofia, can you give Ellie and me a moment?” Asher asked.
Sofia cast a questioning look at her friend. When Ellie nodded, she rose and left the room, shutting his office door behind her.
“I know this is unusual, and if it’s going to cause any problems, you don’t have to do it,” Ellie said. He studied the woman sitting on the other side of his desk. Yesterday, when Sofia had called and asked if she and Ellie could meet him after hours at his office, he’d thought the request odd. But he’d never imagined it beingthisodd.