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“I know I don’t have to, but…” He stopped when he realized the response that he’d been about to give Ellie was the same trite answer he fed himself every day. Something along the lines of “but I committed” or “but I couldn’t turn it down.” She deserved more from him than a generic reply. And more to the point, he deserved more from himself.
Nine months ago, there’d never been any question that he’d accept the job. The board had entrusted him with an important role, and Warwicks always stepped up. Especially when it came to the community. Not once did anyone in his family suggest that he had an option, that he didn’t need to take it. He hadn’t even considered the possibility himself.
But Ellie’s comment gave him pause. Running the hospitalwasa huge responsibility. And he’d been honored when they’d chosen him. But was it really the best way for him to contribute to his community? Was he better being an administrator rather thanjusta doctor? It wasn’t as if he was the only one qualified for the role. Maybe there weren’t others currently residing in Mystery Lake. But nationwide searches for chief medical officers were common enough. He should know. He’d been pinged by a dozen recruiters from other hospitals in the short time he’d been in the role.
And if his heart wasn’t in it, was he really the best person for the job? Or, for that matter, what value did he place on his own satisfaction? He was a damn good pediatric oncologist. And as hard as the work was, he loved it. Going back to that role would mean having a narrower, but deeper, impact on patients. Was that better than staying on in a role that could impact thousands but that he’d never feel satisfied in?
“I think you might have made my brain explode with that comment, El,” he said with a laugh. An uncomfortable one.
She smiled up at him. “I didn’t mean to. It’s just that I’ve seen you with the kids, and you light up. It’s a lot different hearing you talk about them than hearing you talk about the administrative work. And one thing my agent taught me early on is just because you’re offered a role, that doesn’t automatically make it the right role for you. People will want you for all sorts of reasons—and many of those reasons are good and legitimate. But their reasons are theirs. And while it’s worth considering them, so long as you respect the people who hold them, it’s important not to lose sight of your own values. And since I love clichés, I’ll give you another one. It’s your life. You should decide how you live it.”
He’d never thought of himself as someone who conformed to expectations. But the second Ellie gave him permission to not want the big job with the fancy title, he realized that’s what he’d done. There was more to it than that, of course. At the end of the day, though, he’d placed a higher value on running the hospital than he had on working with individual patients. An equation that no longer made sense. Not for him. Because he was good with the kids. And an excellent oncologist. And most of all, helikedit. Not everyone had the luxury of being able to work a job they both liked and excelled at. But he did. And yet he’d handed it all over so easily.
“You’ve definitely given me something to think about,” he said, nudging her up. “In the meantime, though, Idohave responsibilities I can’t get out of, so I should get going. Since we had the crew over Friday and were at my parents’ last night, how does a quiet night in tonight sound?”
She smiled up at him. “Sounds perfect. I’ll text you later and we can figure out the details. Not sure your cousins left much food in the house.”
He laughed as John, Cody and Tia’s cat, hopped into the spot he’d vacated. “They did not. Think about what you want, and I can stop at the store on the way home. I should be done by three.” He leaned down to kiss her then made his way to the guest bedroom to get ready. He might still have responsibilities to attend to, but the conversation they’d just had would be replaying in his mind all day.
Asher finished reading the letter from the nurses’ union, glanced at his notes, then closed his notebook. He’d done everything he needed to do to catch up and be ready for Monday. And in less time than he thought. Deciding to text Ellie then head down to the cancer ward, he picked up his phone. Only to have it come to life in his hand with a message from the woman herself.
Ellie:At the Boom meeting with Angelica. Should be done in an hour. Meet me at the family house at the lodge? I have dinner plans
Asher smiled. “Dinner” plans at three in the afternoon. Sure, he could go with that. The house at the lodge was a twist. She’d loved the view from there, but the one from Cody and Tia’s was just as nice. Then again, if the puffy clouds outside his window were anything to go by, they’d be in for a spectacular sunset. And very few places, other than the lodge itself, had better sunset views than the family house.
Asher:I’m headed down to see the kids. Will meet you there at 3. Should I bring anything?
Ellie:Just you. Please
Asher:Always
She followed up with a kiss-blowing emoji, making him smile again as he slid his phone into his pocket. After powering down his computer and making sure he’d put everything away, he locked his office and headed to the hospital.
With only three kids staying overnight, the ward was surprisingly quiet. Two patients had family visiting, so he spent some time with the third, a teenage boy whose parents had popped out to get him some “real food.” The boy had only been a patient for a few months, and Asher wasn’t familiar with his case. But he took it as a good sign that the teenager was hungry. They chatted for a while, then he greeted the others and their families. One, a little girl, had been in his care before he’d moved into administration. He was thrilled to hear that the current treatment regimen seemed to be working. Cancer could surprise anyone, but so far, her numbers were looking good.
At ten minutes to three, he climbed into his truck, eager to see Ellie. Taking his time, he guided his car over the windy roads toward the lodge. When he arrived, he didn’t see her car—or one from HICC—yet. Rather than wait outside for her, though, he parked his truck and started toward the house. He was two steps away from the porch when his phone buzzed. Pulling it out, he saw a text from his cousin.
Brad:Saw your truck go by
Asher:Meeting Ellie at the family house. She’s planned some sunset thing
No way in hell was he going to mention dinner in the text. Brad was older than him by a few years, but if he thought Ellie had planned a dinner at three, or even four or five, the senior citizen jokes would never end.
Brad:She must have Josh’s key. Make sure Josh gets it back. I hate it when you guys lose those and I have to change all the locks. Also, the heater’s been wonky. Haven’t had a chance to fix it, yet. It will heat, but you may need to set it ten degrees higher than you want it
Asher:Will do and thanks
Brad:Have fun
Asher thought he might have gotten away without at least one taunt, but no. Just as he was about to put his phone away, another text came in. Six emojis depicting Brad’s interpretation of what he and Ellie would be doing in the house. And it wasn’t watching the sunset.
With a shake of his head, he closed out of the thread and opened the one with Ellie.
Asher:Here. See you soon
He waited for a reply, but when none came, he put his phone away and stepped into the house. Closing the door behind him, he took a moment to absorb the quiet. Then frowned. Aside from the stillness, the house was much warmer than the forty degrees Brad kept it at when not in use. His cousin had said it was running low. But maybe the system was being erratic, flipping from heating too little to heating too much.
Making his way into the house, he stopped outside the kitchen where the thermostat was set into the wall. Reading the temperature, his frown deepened. It wasn’t set to forty, but to seventy-five. No wonder it was so warm. He adjusted it down a few degrees, wondering who might have left it so high. As far as he knew the house hadn’t been used since Cody and Tia’s wedding. And neither he nor Ellie had changed the temperature when they’d visited.
