Page 121 of A Little Crush
“Bring it on, Birthday Girl.”
After we beatTatum and Paxton, they went on a walk along the beach, but Rory opted to stay by the fire since the air is turning colder. I can’t complain. Having Rory in my arms and a moment to ourselves feels like the perfect way to end our evening.
I was a little nervous bringing her here. Testing out the waters of how we fit when we’re with people who know the dynamics of our families and our history together. Instead of it being awkward, it’s felt as natural as breathing. I didn’t realize how often I’ve had to fight it. The pull to touch her. To hold her. To kiss her. Just because I feel like it. Being here has made me realize how easy it is to give in to my instincts instead of holding back.
Finishing my beer, I set the empty bottle in the sand and admit, “I like this place.”
“Yeah?” Rory shifts to one side, so I can see her face and she can see mine. Her eyes brighten as she peers around the dark beach, her gaze filling with awe. “Me, too. It’s my home away from home, you know?”
Home.
The four letter word causes a twinge under my sternum, though I do my best to ignore it. “So, you still consider Lockwood Heights your home?” I ask.
“I mean…I think so?” She hesitates, and I swear I can see the wheels turning in her pretty little head. “Yeah,” she decides. “Yeah, Lockwood Heights will always be my real home. I think I’d forgotten while I was away, but ever since the wedding, it’s felt right being there, you know?”
“That’s good.” I swallow, surprised the words slipped out of me before I could stop them. And she must feel it. The shift. The weight behind such an innocent topic like where you want to be, and whether or not it’s in the same city as the guy you’re hooking up with.
Peeking up at me, Rory asks, “Is it? Good, I mean.”
I scratch my jaw, unsure if she’s aware of the tightrope I’m walking. We haven’t talked about our future or if we even have one. Maybe we should’ve before agreeing to sleep with each other, but now that we’ve already muddied the waters, it’s hard to know what comes next, or if either of us even wants something to come next. “I think so. You still planning to come back here after we find a replacement?” I question.
She taps her fingers against the outside of her thigh.
One, two, three.Pause.One, two, three.Pause.One, two, three.
“I, uh, I guess I’m still deciding,” she says.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She sounds more sure than she looks. Or maybe it’s the rhythmic tap of her fingers calling her bluff. I reachout and thread them with mine, resting our laced hands on my thigh as she stays tucked between them.
“Are you writing a pros and cons list?” I ask, attempting to lighten the mood.
“Noooo,” she drags out. “I mean, the whole reason why I initially left Lockwood Heights was because of…” Her shoulder lifts. “And now that it isn’t an issue, and Tatum has Pax, and I’ve realized how much I miss my parents, and the fact that Maverick and Ophelia will be staying in Lockwood Heights, and I’ll likely be an aunt within the next couple years, uh,” her body expands on a deep breath, “it’s starting to feel like the right choice, I guess.”
The right choice.
Moving to Lockwood Heights.
I don’t miss the fact that I’m not on her list of reasons as to why she’s considering moving back. The question is, is it because I don’t deserve to be on the list or is it because she doesn’t want me to feel any pressure by putting me on it?
The thought ruminates as the waves continue lapping against the shoreline.
“I haven’t decided, though, so don’t stress,” she adds.
“Why would I stress?”
The fire dances in her pretty gaze as she holds my stare, not answering me but not retreating either. She’s nervous. And she doesn’t want to show her hand. Doesn’t want to admit that my opinion on where she lives matters. And maybe it shouldn’t. Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe I’m jumping to conclusions I have no right to leap to. The old Rory would’ve caved by now. Would’ve changed the subject. I can’t help but notice the way she’s standing her ground, and it’s sexy as hell. “Where do you see yourself in five years, Jaxon? Still in Lockwood Heights? Or…?”
“Definitely in Lockwood Heights.”
“What else?” she prods.
“Honestly? I’m not sure,” I admit. Not because I want to keep an answer from her, but after the last year of my life and everything that’s happened, everything that’s been taken and given to me, I can’t even imagine what my next five years could look like, let alone how I want them to wind up.
“Do you think you’ll still be coaching the Lions?” she asks.
“Depends on your dad.”
