Page 146 of A Little Crush
And he was okay with it. So much so, he isn’t even kindly correcting the photographer. He’s leaning into it. And I don’t know why, but it kind of makes me want to cry.
“Yeah,” I breathe out. I wipe beneath my nose with the back of my hand, then sneak a peek at the photographer.
He must think I’m a wacko.
“Sorry, let me just…” I undo Poppy’s buckle, pull her out of the stroller, and prop her on my hip.
“Perfect,” the photographer announces. “Let’s have you stand right over here.” He motions to the right side of the glass. “Mom, twist Baby around so she’s facing me. Dad, put your arm around Mom. And then everyone look at the camera.”
We follow his instructions, posing for the photo as the photographer uses a squeaky toy to convince Poppy to look at the camera. Fiddling with the buttons on his device, the photographer snaps a few more pictures, then lowers the camera and smiles. “These are great. Thank you so much!”
“Anytime,” Jaxon returns. He kisses the top of Poppy’s head, then kisses mine as the worker leaves the ape area in search of another family to photograph. “You can stop looking like a deer in the headlights now.”
I grimace. “Was I that bad?”
“A little.” His chuckle softens the blow of his words. “You okay?”
“Yeah, he just caught me off guard, I guess.”
“Me, too,” Jax admits. “Not sure why, though.”
I twist around so we’re facing the exhibit, and Poppy kicks her feet, leaning forward to press her hands to the glass as the gorilla strides closer to us.
Distracted, I ask, “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you look like Poppy’s mom. The blonde hair. The way you hold her. Talk to her. Make her smile.” He shrugs. “It makes sense he’d assume you’re her mom.”
The easy way he says it, like we’re talking about the weather or something, makes me pause.
“Are you okay with it?” I ask.
“Areyouokay with it?” he tosses back at me, but there’s a lightness in his words that eases the knot inside of me.
Shifting Poppy to my opposite hip, I argue, “You answer first.”
His mouth lifts. “Of course I’m okay with it.”
“You’re sure?”
“Shit, Rore.” He shakes his head and moves closer, wrapping his arms around me and his baby girl until we’re in a makeshift group hug in the middle of the apes building. “Do you know how happy that made me? Hearing him call you Mom? It makes me think…” He shakes his head again as if he’s in disbelief. “It makes me think that we can do this for real. You, me, and Pops.”
“You, me, and Pops,” I repeat.
“Yeah.”
“And that’s what you want?”
I don’t know why I push it. Maybe I shouldn’t. But I can’t help myself. I love Poppy more than anything in the world. I would literally die for her. But being her mom? Slipping into that position, even if it’s part-time? Let alone knowing it’s what Jaxon might want, too? It’s scary. The good scary. The life-altering scary. The kind of scary that feels a hell of a lot like my childhood crush on the man in front of me.
He tilts his head. “Are you still questioning my feelings for you, Beautiful?”
“Not in general,” I argue, looking down at Poppy in my arms. “Just in…thisway. The mom-role way. The non-employment way.”
With a subtle curve of his mouth, he leans in for a kiss, dragging his cheek along Poppy’s soft hair as he holds my gaze. “I want it more than you can even imagine.”
51
RORY
