Page 84 of A Little Crush
“So you admit there’s a this?” he challenges, tossing my own words back at me from moments ago.
My mouth lifts despite the cloud of melancholy hanging over me. I need to tell him the truth. The truth that’s weighed on me for as long as I can remember, despite my best attempt to brush it aside. “I think we both know there’s been a this for me a lot longer than there’s been a this for you, Jax.”
He sobers, his reaction causing heat to unfurl in my chest.
“I know.”
Does he, though? I doubt it. Even I don’t fully understand the pull I’ve always felt with him. It’s…exhausting. And consuming. And scary as hell.
As if he can read my thoughts, Jax murmurs, “That’s why I didn’t ask to come inside before, Squeaks.”
“Because I’m a crazy stalker?” I retort.
“Considering all the thoughts I’ve had about you lately, I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around.” He steps closer. Slowly. And with a weight of calculation that’s both sexy and annoying. Because it makes me feel like he feels the need to treat me with kid gloves, and that’s the last thing I want.
“I’ve always cared about you, all right?” he says. “Even after you left, I always thought about you. Always hoped you were getting everything you wanted in life.”
Everything I wanted but you, a quiet voice whispers in the back of my mind. With the game of fetch forgotten, I wrap my arms around myself. I’m unsure what to say or how toeven process the conversation we’re having, let alone the kiss we shared on my front lawn in the pouring rain.
With a sigh, Jaxon narrows his gaze and tilts his head, considering me. “But the thing is, ever since you came back, things have felt…different.”
“Different,” I repeat.
“Yeah. Different. The things you do to me are new.” His gaze dips to my mouth. “Very new. I’m still processing it.”
“Guess that makes two of us.” I take in a soft breath, hoping the additional oxygen will keep me from jumping to conclusions. Like if he’s thinking what I’m thinking, or if I’m reading him wrong—again—like I did all those years ago.
“So, what do we do?” he asks.
What do we do? He’s leaving this to me?
“Well, I’m not expecting a marriage proposal or anything,” I mutter. “I think it’s okay to take a breather and figure things out without announcing them to the world.” I tuck my hair behind my ear. “What if we don’t make this complicated? What if we both admit we enjoyed that kiss, and what if we both admit we’re curious about what it would be like if we kissed again. Maybe we could stop overthinking and start testing the waters to see if we’re both interested in it.”To see if you’re interested, I silently clarify because I’m not stupid, and I know what I want.Him.
“Testing the waters, huh?” he questions, towering over me until I’m left with no choice but to raise my chin and tilt my head back so I can hold his gaze. This is it. The look. The one I’ve dreamt about for years and have only seen a handful of times—the first being in that hotel room last week.
“Mm-hmm,” I hum in an attempt to keep my mind in check when I’m seconds from spiraling into a fit of likely misread interest.
He lifts his hand from his side as if he wants to touch me, but he doesn’t. He lets his hand hover an inch from my waist,the lack of touch branding me more than if he’d grabbed my hip. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I’m a big girl,” I remind him. “And I’m not asking for a commitment. I’m only asking for you to be honest and open and straightforward with what you want.”
Something flashes in his gaze, but it’s gone too fast for me to place it.
“What I want?” he challenges.
“Yes.” My skin prickles with awareness as I metaphorically twist the handle on the stupid can opener, well aware there’s no going back. Not after this conversation. Steeling my shoulders, I ask, “What do you want, Jaxon?”
31
RORY
I’m not sure who this girl is. The one confidently standing in front of the only guy she’s ever had feelings for, asking him what he wants. Yet, here I am. In the flesh. Six inches from the infamous Jaxon Thorne with only my very blunt question hanging between us. Honestly, I blame Tatum. It’s clear she’s rubbing off on me, but I’m too determined to hear Jaxon out to care.
“What do you want, Jaxon?” I repeat.
His lips tug toward the ground as he considers my question. “No one asks me what I want.”
“I believe I just did,” I counter. “And that’s not an answer.”
