Page 30 of Ruthless Alpha
“What?”
“Go to bed, Rosie. I can’t—I can’t be gentle with you right now.”
I couldn’t look at her as she clambered off the edge of the table, but I couldfeelher standing in the quiet kitchen, just looking at me, for several long seconds before she finally turned and left me alone.
What was Idoing?I’d bought her to keep her safe from exactly the sort of man I was turning out to be. I’d never felt this way about a female before, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think—but that wasn’t an option. There was nothing driving my behavior but lust and an embarrassing lack of self-control. No matter what my wolf insisted, I didn’tneedto touch her; I only wanted to.
I wanted her so badly it might ruin me.
Chapter 14 - Rosie
Kissing Xander a second time had not been on my agenda. At the time, it felt like I had no other option, like my whole body would mutiny if I didn’t close the gap between us, but once he pulled away, my brain had come back online, and I spent the night tossing and turning, my mind and my body at war with each other.
The dangerous, wanting part of me insisted that it didn’t matter, that I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to go home anymore. It had been easy to tell myself that witches were awful and our Alpha was always right when I lived on Arbor, because thinking otherwise could get me killed, but now—now I’d had a taste of what it was like not to hate myself, not to hide myself. I wanted the freedom to explore that; I just didn’t want to do it on Ensign. This wasn’t the only island in the archipelago where witches were respected—I could go elsewhere, start a life just for myself.
The problem was that I’d now kissed Xander twice, and I wanted to do it again. I felt haunted, hunted by my need to be close to him. My wolf rolled onto her belly with her haunches in the air whenever he so much as looked in my direction, but I was more than that animal desire. I needed fresh air and the freedom to roam. I needed to know I didn’t owe anyone anything, that the roof over my head was my own, not my master’s.
My sword clattered to the ground for the third time in as many minutes, and Xander sighed.
“Are you even trying today?” he teased. I huffed, annoyed. I was trying my best, but I was distracted and sleep deprived, and it was all his fault.
“Will you just—just give me a minute?” I panted.
Xander picked up the sword, passing it back to me with a nod.
“Drink some water,” he ordered.
I tried to clear my mind as I sat on the ground with my glass of lukewarm water, my back against the wall, and my thoughts a noisy muddle of conflicting desires. I wanted to crack open my skull and let it all pour out so I could think clearly again.
Instead, I wrapped both hands around the hilt of my sword. I didn’t really understand what Eve had meant by “channeling my magic”, but the connection I felt to my weapon had to be good forsomething.If I could tap into that connection and push all those messy, angry thoughts into the steel, perhaps I’d stop embarrassing myself. Perhaps the weapon would hear my cry for help.
I took a deep breath, centering myself the way Eve had said I should. I thought about Xander, about the way his hands felt on my body and the way his smile made my stomach flip. I thought about my imprisonment on Ensign and my desperate need for freedom. I thought about my life on Arbor—all the ways I missed it and all the ways I was glad it was behind me. Then I thought of Xander again, his lips hot on mine and his arms strong around me and—
“Uh. Rosie. I don’t want to alarm you, but your sword is glowing.” Xander’s voice brought me back to reality, but I hardly registered his words.
“Huh?” I said, opening my eyes as I realized exactly what he’d said. The ripples of gold that decorated the blade had begun to shimmer and dance, emitting a faint glow that cast the basement in warm light.
“How are you doing that?” Xander whispered, as if afraid that raising his voice would scare the light away.
“I don’t know,” I whispered back, cautiously rising to my feet.
“Well, whatever it is, keep doing it.”
I closed my eyes again, trying to feel for where I’d made the connection. Sure enough, I could feel something there; it was thin and fragile, a single thread of magic flowing out of me and into the blade.
“Okay, stand back,” I told Xander. “I’m going to try something.”
I had no idea what thatsomethingwas, but he didn’t need to know that. His eyes were on me as I readied myself, flicking from my face to my hands on the hilt to the blade itself and back again. Nervous excitement was pouring off him, and I was no less jittery as I raised the blade above my head. As I brought it down, I pushed power along that single thread, sending out all my frustration, fear, and desire.
“Holy shit!” Xander exclaimed as a golden rope of light burst from the end of the sword, twisting and cracking in the air, curving until it found its target: him. The light wrapped around his middle like a whip, and I panicked for a second, certain I was about to see him sliced in half before my eyes, but he only gave another shout of amazement. I stood frozen, my hands still holding the sword out, the two of us connected by that single strand of pulsing golden light.
“Does it hurt?” I asked, and he shook his head.
“No, it’s just… warm? Kind of tickly.”
“Oh. Okay.” My magic was warm. It was kind of tickly. It wasn’t just destruction and evil. Xander reached out with asingle finger, plucking the taut string between us: it vibrated, emitting a single warbling note, and Xander grinned.
“This is so fucking cool.”
