Page 91 of Mirror of Malice
As if she could read my mind, Gabrielle said, “Many of the women have taken over running businesses, caring for theirdaughters, and grieving the loss of their sons and husbands. It’s been so hard.”
I gave her arm a squeeze as we stopped at a stand with fresh fish and eel splayed out across the counter.
Gabrielle held her hand out, and Leoni placed a few gold coins in her palm. She smiled at the woman behind the counter, whose eyes had purple smudges underneath, her hair unkempt in its bun like she didn’t have it in her to run a brush through it. I understood. Grief could be debilitating.
“Hi, Mara.” Gabrielle dropped coins into the woman’s palms.
She smiled and curtsied, thanking Her Grace.
We kept on walking. I looked back, confused. “But you didn’t buy anything.”
“I try to support different businesses every day. It’s not much, but it’s all I can do. We just need to keep surviving.”
We continued walking, stopping at various stands: one that sold flowers, one with dried seaweed and kelp, one with herbal tonics, one with oysters and clams. Everyone smiled politely, but there was no warmth behind their eyes, no life.
“I should’ve said something,” Gabrielle said as we munched on spicy fish pies that were as small as the palm of my hand.
I wrinkled my nose. “About what?”
She’d stopped walking and was staring off into the distance, watching the rolling waves. “To my father, about his plan. I should’ve told him it was a bad one. I should’ve been brave enough to speak up.” She huffed. “I didn’t ever want to be queen, to rule this place, but I still knew attacking Sorrengard head-on was a bad idea, and I said nothing. Just stood by and watched him sail to his death.”
“You don’t know that he’s dead,” I said quickly. “Don’t give up, Gabrielle.”
She tore her gaze away from the ocean and back toward me. “What else am I supposed to do?”
I finished my last bite of fish pie, brushing the crumbs from my chiffon.
“I know what it’s like to feel guilt over your actions.” I frisked my arms despite the warm sea air brushing down the street.
We continued our stroll, everyone bowing at Gabrielle as we passed their little stands.
“My stepmother,” I said. “It’s my fault she killed my father, my fault she imprisoned me. Everything that’s happened to the earth court is my fault.”
“That can’t be true.” Gabrielle shook her head slowly. “Your stepmother conspired with the pirate lord, just like you said. She chose to use dark magic.”
“Because of me,” I said. “She hated me because of my actions.” I took a steadying breath. “When my father first married her, I instantly disliked her. I never had a lot of time with my father since he was always busy doing his duty as king. She was a threat to the little time I did have. I believed she only wanted to be queen, didn’t love my father, was using him so she could rule Elwen. I had no basis for these accusations. She wasn’t my mother, though. That was the true crime she’d committed.”
Gabrielle listened as we walked, head down, hands twined behind her back.
“I watched her constantly, always looking for evidence she was guilty of something, anything, that would force my father to banish her, strip her of her crown. My friends warned me I was going too far, that I needed to just accept her as my father had. But I refused. I was so stupid, Gabrielle. I was fifteen years old at the time, but I was old enough to know better, to know that what I was doing was wrong.”
Jillian and Driscoll had begged me to stop following her everywhere. They’d even threatened to tell my father if Iwouldn’t let it go, but I’d refused, and it had cost me everything in the end.
“I lied to my friends, told them I’d stop, but I just became better at hiding my obsession with her. One day, I followed her to the border between Mosswood Forest and Elwen, and I couldn’t believe what I saw. She was meeting someone, someone from Mosswood Forest.”
Gabrielle sucked in a sharp breath. Everyone on the continent knew of the war between Elwen and Mosswood Forest, that there was no communication between the two realms.
“I hid behind a tree and watched her use magic to help someone over to the other side. They developed a whole system for it, one that must’ve taken a long time. They embraced, crying and laughing, chatting. All I saw was betrayal. I immediately ran to my father, telling him of what my stepmother had done. I thought that would be it. He’d banish her and she’d be out of our lives forever. I didn’t know the consequences would be so much worse.” I swallowed. “A few days later, I awoke to screams in the courtyard, Elwenians gathered as the guards brought out someone to hang. It was the woman my stepmother had let through the border. Her friend, as it turned out. They’d been best friends, separated by the war, but they’d been meeting in secret, my stepmother letting her through the border.” Tears slipped down my cheeks. “I caused that innocent woman’s death. I’d been so sure my stepmother was conspiring with the people of Mosswood Forest, spying for them, and that I’d found proof.”
Gabrielle put a hand on my shoulder.
“That’s why she imprisoned me, you know,” I said. “She told me that I ruined her life. That she could have been happy with my father if I hadn’t constantly pitted him against her. She said Imade her into the villain she was, and that she would spend the rest of her life making me as miserable as I’d made her.”
I was so ashamed of my actions, I hadn’t told anyone that, not even Jillian and Driscoll. Truthfully, I was worried they wouldn’t forgive me or that they’d look at me differently.
I didn’t realize I’d stopped walking, that my shoulders were shaking, tears now flowing freely, until I felt Gabrielle’s arms come around me.
“It’s my fault,” I said between sobs.
