Page 76 of The Witch's Shifter
“If it were possible to see your parents again,” Rowan says from next to me, his voice quiet and faraway, “would you want to?”
It’s an easy answer. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”
He glares out into the darkness, but I don’t think he’s glaring toward Faolan. After my talk with Rowan, he seems to be making an effort with the shifter, if only for Aurora’s sake. It’s something, at least.
“If I could see my sister again,” he says slowly, as if he’s still working through his feelings on the matter, “I think I’d be... scared.”
“Of what?” I ask, reaching up to scratch my beard.
He plucks a small stone from the ground beside his boot. In the darkness, he tosses it into the air, catching it smoothly, then tosses it again. After a long moment, he says, “Of having to face her.”
Something about that doesn’t sound quite right. I’ve learned Rowan knows how to twist his words to soften them, to make it sound like he’s saying one thing when he actually means another. I cut through it quickly these days.
“Of having to faceher,” I clarify, “or having to face your feelings about how she died?”
I don’t know all the details, but Rowan has mentioned his little sister to me, and I know she drowned after falling through the ice when they were children. Perhaps he’s told Aurora more—I expect he has—but given how he’s staring into the dark, a muscle in his jaw ticking, I get the feeling he’s not finished processing his feelings regarding his sister’s death despite the many years that’ve passed since then.
Rowan doesn’t speak, just keeps staring and fiddling with the stone, the breeze tossing his long red hair across his face.
“I know after my parents died, I felt responsible,” I say. “There was nothing I could’ve done—they were in an accident while traveling, and I was at home with Lydia—but I think when you lose someone you love, it’s natural to question whether you could’ve done something to change the outcome of the situation. We want to hold ourselves accountable.”
“But that’s the thing,” Rowan says, a hint of fire coloring his voice. He sends the rock flying toward the trees, and it strikes a tree trunk with a gentle thud. “I was the one who took us onto the ice. If only I’d been standing a bit closer to her, maybe I—”
“Stop doing this to yourself,” I say.
He narrows his eyes a bit, but I don’t care. He needs to hear this.
“You probably think it’s the honorable thing to do, carrying around this weight in your heart like it’s what your sister would want, but it’ll only drag you down. You’ve got a woman in there”—I jerk a thumb over my shoulder toward the cottage—“who loves you, and you’ve got a kid on the way. Don’t you think it’s time to let the past lie? To forgive yourself?”
Rowan’s jaw ticks again. It looks like he wants to argue with me, to cling to his guilt even though it’s an anchor around his leg trying to drag him down. And if he wants to get upset, so be it. I know how it feels, but I learned long ago that you have to surrender. You have to let things go. Sometimes it’s the only way you can move forward.
Instead of telling me to mind my own business, Rowan takes a deep breath, then finally meets my eyes. His lips pull up on one side.
“Do you offer advice to everyone?” he asks.
“Nope.” I jostle his shoulder. “Just the people Aurora likes.”
He lets out a short laugh. “So, I’m one of the lucky few?”
“Exactly. Don’t waste it.”
Rowan’s smile is small, but it’s a start.
There’s movement in the distance, boots stepping through leaves. A moment later, Faolan materializes from the dark, his hair loose and hanging around his shoulders. It’s uncanny, the way his blue eyes are vibrant even in the darkness.
“She needs us,” he says, voice low.
Rowan and I glance at each other.
Our question must be obvious, because Faolan arches one brow and says, “I can feel her through our bond.”
Right. The mate bond. The fresh pink scar on Aurora’s skin. I was startled when I first saw it. The scar tissue looks like it runsdeep, and I can only imagine the pain Aurora must have endured during the process. But she seems comfortable enough with it now, so I suppose I should be too.
“Then we go to her,” I say, pushing to my feet.
“I’ll be in shortly,” Rowan says. “Just need a moment.”
“All right.” I glance at Faolan. “Let’s go.”
