Page 14 of Before I Should Leave
“Different how?”
“Softer. Lighter. Like you let somethin’ go.”
I sat with that for a second. “I think I did,” I admitted, voice low. “I didn’t mean to. But I did.” He nodded like he knew exactly what I meant. “I don’t get nights like this often,” I said. “Where I can just… be. I’m always working or writing.”
“You should have more of ‘em.”
“Maybe,” I said. “But most people don’t know how to hold space for me like that.”
He didn’t flinch when he said, “I think I do.”
And that went straight to my chest. I looked at him. Really looked. “Is this the airport magic working in your favor?”
He smirked, setting the wine down, and sat all the way up. He forward just a little. “This,” he said, voice low, “is me knowin’ when a woman needs a break from bein’ strong. Knowin’ when to listen. When to talk. When to shut the fuck up and let you breathe. I’m not tryna impress you or run game, Emani. I’m just not afraid of who you are when the guard comes down.”
I didn’t know what to do with that except feel it. And suddenly the robe felt too thin. The tequila was hitting. The air too still. I bit my lip and set my bowl aside, trying to reach for something to distract me. Diesel noticed, but he didn’t move closer. He just stayed right where he was. He gave me space while still being near, and I needed that more than I wanted to admit.
Diesel had leaned back into the pillows, arms folded behind his head, his tattooed chest and arms on full display. His body took up space, but his energy? Calm. Centered. I curled my legs beneath me, robe still tied but loose now like I’d stopped trying to protect anything hours ago.
“So who’s one of your favorite artists?” he asked, eyes on me but relaxed.
“I have a few.”
“Pick one.”
I hesitated. “Jamie Foxx.”
He raised a brow, clearly impressed. “ThatUnpredictablealbum changed my life.”
I smiled. “Exactly.Dj Play a Love Song? Whewwww.”
“Talk about a slow jam with a damn chokehold on your soul.”
I laughed, soft and free. “And don’t even get me started onWarm Bed. That song is sex.”
He smirked. “That songislit.”
We both laughed then, and something light and easy passed between us. It felt like we’d known each other longer than the hours said we had. “Alright,” I said, sipping from another small bottle of tequila. I’d lost count of how many. “Movie question. What’s a lovey dovey film you could watch over and over and never get tired of?”
“Love Jones,” he said immediately. “No hesitation.”
I grinned. “Okay, yesss.”
“I still be mad every time her ass get on that damn train.”
“She had to go!”
“But she coulda told that man where she stood!”
I giggled into the back of my hand. “You’re really passionate about that.”
He looked at me, calm and low. “That was the first movie that made me… wanna love somebody out loud.”
I didn’t know what to say. So I didn’t say anything, but I leaned a little closer. Diesel noticed, and the air in the room thickened. My breath slowed. His gaze dropped to my mouth for a half-second, then back to my eyes.
“You keep looking at me like that,” I whispered, “and I’m not gonna be able to stop myself.”
He sat up a little straighter, his tone matching mine. “Then don’t.”
