Page 153 of The Scene of the Crime
‘It’s a flat. My wife got the house when we divorced,’ he replied. He gave her directions, and a couple of minutes later she was parking outside his block.
‘Thanks for coming tonight. It was fun. And you and David got on well.’
‘He’s a nice bloke, your brother, and he’s got a great sense of humour. Donna’s lovely as well. They make a great couple.’
‘I like her too. It’s a bit of a whirlwind romance, but she’s very kind and obviously cares a lot for David. I just hope that it lasts.’
‘If first impressions are anything to go by, I’d say it will. Would you like to go out for another meal sometime . . . just the two of us?’ Chapman asked.
‘Yes, that would be nice.’
‘Do you want to come in for a coffee?’ he asked sheepishly.
‘Thanks, but I’m really tired. Maybe next time.’ He leaned in to kiss Jessica on the cheek, but at the same moment, she turned her head toward him and he accidentally kissed her on the lips. They both froze and exchanged surprised glances. She didn’t seem offended, so Chapman put his hand behind Jessica’s neck, drew her closer, and began to kiss her. She instantly pulled away.
‘I’m sorry, Mike, I’m not ready for this yet.’
Chapman felt he’d messed up. ‘Sorry. I was out of order.’
‘It’s OK. I’m not upset with you. It’s just that I haven’t been in a relationship for a long time, and my last one didn’t end well.’
He looked worried. ‘I hope I haven’t ruined our friendship.’
‘Of course not. I like you a lot. I wouldn’t want that to happen.’
‘I’ll see you in the morning, then,’ he said. He got out of the car and gave her a limp wave goodnight. Jessica could see he was upset as he walked with his shoulders slumped toward the flats and didn’t look back. She knew he must be feeling rejected, and it would play on his mind all night. As she started to drive off, part of her wished she had been more open and honest with him. It wasn’t the first time she had used that excuse, but it wasn’t fair to him, and now she wished she hadn’t. She slammed her foot on the brake, and as her body lurched forward, the seat belt pressed into her chest. She jumped out of the car and called out his name, but the communal entrance door had just closed behind him. She ran to the door and banged on the glass to get hisattention. It made him jump, and he turned sharply. He quickly opened the door.
‘Can we talk, please?’ she asked nervously.
‘Of course. Are you all right?’ he asked, looking concerned.
‘Yes, I’m fine, but I feel I owe you a proper explanation about why I’m avoiding a relationship with you.’
‘Do you want to come in?’
‘No, let’s just talk out here for a minute.’ There was a low wall near to the entrance to the flats and they went over and sat side by side.
‘You don’t need to explain anything, Jessica. After what Liam Palmer did, it’s understandable. I was there that night, so I know how it affected you. Seeing his face and reliving it all over these past few days must have been horrendous for you.’
‘Mike, it was a long time ago, and a lot has happened in my life since then. And you’re right, it wasn’t easy, reliving everything. But his confession and discovering about his awful childhood has actually given me some sort of closure.’
‘That’s a good thing then.’
‘Yes, it is. But it’s not just what happened with Palmer that makes me wary of relationships with men. I won’t bore you with all the details, but my father was a narcissist and a bully. He treated my mother like she was a piece of dirt and showed no love towards any of us. He abandoned us when we were kids, and thankfully, I’ve never seen him since.’
‘He sounds a right bastard,’ Chapman said.
‘He was, but I got over him. It affected David a lot more, and he had a hard time, then our mother died and he went off the rails, so I moved back in with him. But I’m not telling you all this as some kind of excuse because it isn’t.’
Chapman was unsure what to say next. It felt as if she was somehow skirting around the real reason for her reaction whenhe’d kissed her. He reached out and took hold of her hand. ‘I heard what you said to Palmer after the interview.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes, I’d never heard that tone of voice. I think he went to shake your hand to thank you and you said, “Don’t touch me” and walked out.’
‘Yes, I did. You know, for a long time after what he did, I had nightmares every night. I couldn’t sleep if there was any creaking sound on the stairs – the slightest noise would freak me. Even though he was only a teenager, I never saw him as that, but as this huge monster all in black with his face hidden by his black hoodie and the awful growling sounds he made when he attacked me, like an animal. It took a lot of therapy for that image to fade and for me to be able to get on with my life.’ He was surprised when she suddenly laughed softly, shaking her head and pulling her hand from his. ‘Seeing this bald, pitiful creep, with his dirty fingernails, his yellow teeth and crippled leg . . . if I’d seen him like that years earlier, it would have taken a lot less time to get over that image of the black-hooded monster. He disgusted me and it made me angry that I had wasted so much anxiety on such a pathetic creature. I actually found it a very positive experience.’
‘Well, that’s good to know.’
