Page 60 of Kissing Chaos
“You have every right to.”
“I know. But I don’t.”
He looks at me quizzically, like he doesn’t believe me.
“I’m finally finding my happy. And yeah, it is a shitty way to get there, but if things hadn’t ended between us when they did, I don’t know if I would have ever moved here.” Taking a deep breath, I find my feet again and stand taller in front of theman who made me feel unworthy of love. “I moved here because I couldn’t bear living between the same walls that you and I had shared. But doing that? I’ve made friends with people that just roll with the punches when I don’t make sense. They make sure to be direct if they need something. Moving here is the best decision I’ve made for myself.”
As the words pour out, I realize how true they are. I’m learning to stand up for myself, that my worth isn’t tied into anyone else’s ideals.
“Drew—the guy that came to get me just now—he’s been through hell but still steps up for those around him. Kelsey can keep up with my thoughts better than I can and is helping me put the business plan that you laughed at into action. Jace encourages me to be social in an environment that won’t push my comfort zone too much. And McKenna comes down when she can.” Unexpected tears burn the backs of my eyes as the realization hits me. “They all get me. This whole town has been my saving grace. A safe haven.”
“You’re thriving here.”
“Noah is a big part of that.”
“Noah?”
“My, well, he’s not officially my boyfriend—like, we haven’t labeled it or anything—but he gets me. Watches hockey with me, quiets my mind with just a touch. He’s teaching me how to see my own worth.”
“You love him.”
I nod.
“You tell him yet?”
I shake my head this time.
The door to the back room opens with Noah storming in like a hurricane.
“Chaos? You okay? Drew said you left and…” His words trail off as he takes in Joey standing across from me. Noah easilyreads the room and quickly slides closer to me, wrapping me tightly in his arms and kissing the top of my head. “You good?”
I nod.
“Chaos?” Joey asks.
Nodding again, I force my attention back to Joey, even though all I want to do is melt into my mechanic. “He’s called me that pretty much since I met him.”
“And you let him?” he asks, flabbergasted.
It’s like I’m a dang bobble head with all the nodding I’m doing.
“He could call me just about anything, and I would let him.” I love my Noah. I relax into his hold, but he shifts me slightly to extend his hand to Joey.
“Noah Slater.”
“Joey Sanchez.”
“You tore my girl’s self-confidence up.”
Joey nods once, not taking his eyes off of my significant other. Probably for the best. I can feel the coiling of Noah’s muscles as he finally puts a face to the heartache he had to fight through so hard.
“If I remember correctly, and I’m certain that I do because my memory is excellent, I’m pretty sure you told my girl that she was a lot to handle when, in fact, she doesn’t need any kind of handling. She’s perfect all on her own.”
Joey looks between me and Noah before his gaze settles back on me. “I won’t pretend to be innocent.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” I say.
“You grew a backbone.”
