Page 36 of Saving Grace
A soft giggle escapes Kristen as Mrs. Flynn tilts her head and lifts a brow. “Don’t think you can pull one over on me, young lady. Mama knows all.” Her lips quirk up at the corners, laugh lines prominent in the evening light. “The two of you were smitten from day one, and while I can understand why you tried to keep it from your brothers, the rest of us were never fooled. All those years of you tiptoeing in and out of his bedroom when you thought we were sleeping. No other girl ever had a chance at holding my baby’s heart. We knew why Drew always demanded to tag along on those trips. That boy loves you, sweetheart. And it’s more than obvious that he’s head over boots for my precious granddaughter, too.”
Kristen nods encouragingly when I look to her. “He was stressed to the max when he found out you were coming back, but since then, he’s lighter. Freer than he’s been since before the accident. He missed you. We all did.”
I look down at my fingers as I fiddle with the hem of my shirt. “I keep telling myself I’m scared to let myself fall again.”
“Honey, you’ve saved each other again and again, always pulled into the other’s orbit. Even from a state away. Your relationship—friendship, whatever you want to call it—runs deeper than any other I’ve seen in my fifty-eight years on this Earth. To us, you are Leila Grace. To that boy in there rocking a tiny nugget when he’d never held a baby before last week? You are his world. His sunshine. His reason for fighting to put his demons to rest. Honey, you are his saving grace. And I really think, if you let him, that he can still be yours, too.”
I sniff back the emotions that threaten to overtake me, but I still feel a tear trickle down my cheek. As much as I want to melt into those words, to believe every syllable, the doubts are still there. “But what if you’re wrong? What if we aren’t meant for more? What if we give this a shot, and it crashes and burns? We have Kaia to think about.”
“And you’d both continue to put her first. But, Leila, think about it this way. Will your heart ever truly be happy if you never try? Wouldn’t you rather give it a chance—givehima chance—before giving up your own happiness by never trying?”
They catch me up on the changes Havenwood has seen in recent years. Like Jace taking over the bar for his parents, how Jett and Noah ended up in partnership with Kelsey’s bakery, and how there’s talk of a single mom moving into the loft above the bar soon. By the time Drew slips back onto the porch with Kaia asleep on his chest, it’s pushing ten o’clock.
“You about ready to head out, Gracie?”
I nod, mumbling an incoherent agreement. I want nothing more than to go home and sink into the covers with him and our baby girl cuddled close. Maybe turn on a movie and shut out the world like we used to as kids.
Yeah, that sounds like perfection.
***
By the time I settle Kaia into her crib for the night and cross all my fingers and toes that she sleeps past midnight, I quietly return to the living room, where Drew is kicked back on the couch with an episode of one of our old favorite shows playing quietly on the television. Gavin sent a text letting me know that he was going to crash at Kelsey’s place. I’m still waiting on the day that they elope. They are perfect for each other, her happyoptimism complimenting his grumpy seriousness. Maybe they’ll figure it out one day.
Drew tosses his shoulder brace to the floor and pats the spot next to him. “Come, sit.”
“Is that a good idea?” I ask, motioning to the black straps as they land haphazardly on the wood floor.
“I’ll be careful.”
Settling in next to him, I keep a small amount of space between us, but he nudges my knee with his and settles his arm around my shoulders. It’s quiet between us, and I assume he’s just focused on the show until he speaks.
“I’m tired of pretending, Leila Grace.”
My shoulders tense as his words send my thoughts spiraling.What could he mean? Pretending about being all in? Does he regret earlier? Or…or is he referring to us?
Locking my thoughts down, I sit up a little straighter from where I’d allowed myself to settle into his side. “You shouldn’t have to pretend about anything, Drew.”
“Good. Glad you feel that way. Because you need to know.”
“Know what? You’re scaring me a little.”
He turns to face me, taking my hands in his. “I need you to know, regardless of how you feel, I am all in. With Kaia, but also with you.”
I start to push away, to stand and put more space between us, but he settles a hand on my thigh. Not restricting, just steadying. “Sunshine, please. My choices over the last year have been less than desirable, and I in no way deserve even a moment of your time. I will never be deserving of your heart, but I am in, one thousand percent. No matter what you decide.”
“My heart can’t handle any more fractures, Drew.” My voice waivers as I realize how true that statement is. And yet, part of me is already all in, too.
“I never want to be the reason you cry anything other than happy tears for the rest of our lives, Leila Grace.” He cradles my face between his calloused hands, and it makes me feel so small but so protected. Safe. Secure. His thumb pads away the moisture gathering under my eyes. “You and our little girl are my world. I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m begging you to give us another chance. Not just for Kaia, because I know we would kick ass at co-parenting, but for us.”
Taking a deep breath to settle my nerves, I nod. “You didn’t let me finish,” I whisper as I lean into his hand. I don’t trust my voice or the ability to keep more tears at bay, but I let go anyway, letting my emotions shine through my eyes as happy tears continue to trickle down my face. Damn these hormone changes. Sighing and relaxing my shoulders, I finally glance back into Drew’s deep-blue eyes and smile. “I can’t handle more fractures, but I meant it earlier when I said I wanted to learn to live, to be brave. And I want to do it by your side.”
The pure joy that fills his eyes is enough to make me giggle, even as he squeezes me to his chest. My hands settle on his forearms as contentment flows through me. Sure, fear of the unknown is still there, but I meant my words earlier and I mean them now. I’m done hiding. It’s time to live.
“One more thing,” Drew says, unwilling to meet my eyes. “But promise me you’ll consider it before just shutting me down.”
His tone is saturated in nervous energy, but he holds me tighter when I try to push away to get a better read on his face. Suddenly uncertain, I ask, “Drew, what did you do?”
“Don’t panic.”
