Page 41 of Saving Grace
“It isn’t even ten in the morning. Can you please take pity on my post-partum hormones and give me a straight answer?”
Drew tucks a loose hair behind my ear before cradling my jaw, the callouses on his palm helping to ground me as I fight off the budding panic. It’s funny (not really) how I can get throughan emergency, but the result is usually a full-on freakout breakdown moment.
“I can get to the truck. Get Kaia and drive us to my parents’ house. We’ll call Kristen and let her put that old trauma nurse experience to good use.” He grunts in discomfort as he shifts to his knees before standing and offering me a hand. I ignore it, pushing myself to my feet before folding myself into Drew’s chest.
“You swore you’d do what it takes to stay healthy.You won’t let the doctor do the surgery you need. And you want me to brush this under the rug like you didn’t just get slammed by a thousand-plus-pound hooved animal and joke about pain meds,” I say, my voice getting more and more heated as I talk. Stepping out of his arms, I cross mine under my too-full breasts as I let the anger and fear mingle.
Drew is apparently triggered by this line of conversation as well. His already tall frame stretches up. I’m pretty sure he’d square his shoulders at me if it wouldn’t make the situation physically worse for himself.
“Don’t accuse me without the facts, Leila Grace,” he says, his tone low and gravely. “I have been one hundred percent clean and sober formonths. It’d have been a hell of a lot sooner had I known about Kaia.”
I should walk away right now. Go get Gavin from his office or hunt down Reece or Declan. We should wait until both of us have a few minutes to breathe and think rationally, but we are nothing if not stubborn.
“No. Don’t you dare bring our daughter into this,” I snap. “I need to be able to trust you. If this is too much, if you’re going to try to use Kaia to justify or excuse your actions, tell me now. I refuse to be responsible for putting you in a position that threatens your healing.”
Drew almost looks stricken before steeling himself and locking down his emotions. “But that’s exactly what you did, isn’t it, Leila? You showed up, with ourdaughter, knowing damn well I didn’t have a clue—”
“I didn’t know you never listened to my messages,” I interject.
“Then you must have even less faith in me than I’dthought. You honestly think I would have stayed away if I’d known I had a daughter? That I wouldn’t have stepped up?”
The silence is tense, growing more and more so by the second. Even Havoc has quieted in his stall, choosing to stand as far from us as he can.
I want to take it back, erase the last ten minutes—hell, the last two hours—and put him at ease. But it means more than that to me.Hemeans more than that to me.
I refuse to let a lack of communication ever come between us again. Instead of storming off, instead of slinging my worries in his face, I pause. It’s a moment of growth. Instead of hiding behind the walls I’ve built, I let them all come crumbling down as every vulnerability shines through.
“I’m terrified of losing you again, Drew.”
A crack in his armor finally shows as his chin dips to his chest and he opens his arms in offering. I gladly let his strength surround me, thankful he isn’t letting this argument drive a wedge too deep.
“What do you say we get Kaia, go to my parents’ house, and I let Kristen be the judge of what to do next?”
I nod, melting back into his embrace and accepting the compromise for the peace offering it is. “I can live with that.”
Chapter 19
Drew
First of the month feed bills always cause my insides to cramp. October is the worst of them, though. It isn’t because we can’t afford it. The ranch does well, even with the limited training spots. But feeding twenty-plus head of twelve-hundred-pound animals as we prep for the winter months while battling soaked fields that resemble pig pens instead of hay fields and green pastures? It’s overwhelming, to say the least.
I am not a numbers guy. Not a business man, either. I prefer manual labor, the physical strain it puts on the body. I love the burn that funnels through my muscles after a young horse tests the boundaries, both mine and his. The feel of leather between my fingers, feeling for every twitch, every ounce of tension that might indicate whether that horse will choose fight or flight.
That’s why this pencil-pusher stuff is Gavin’s job. He’s amazing at it, always has been. It’s why Dad hired him when he was still in high school. No one can keep this place organized as well as Gavin Barrett. And yet, I’m still doing monthly inventory because we—meaning Declan—neglected the record-tracking aspect. Kind of difficult to know how much feed and hayis needed if there isn’t an updated record of how many horses eat how much. It’s the curse of doing everything by memory—no one else can do the job.
A knock on the open barn office door pulls my focus away from the computer screen. Reece Taylor’s head and shoulders lean around the door frame. He’s been absent for most of the summer, having taken off to Kentucky to help his dad out, but the guy’s been a solid farmhand and friend for the better part of the last five years.
“What’s up, Reece?”
“Hey, man. Need you to head over to the gym. Jace tried to call you, but it went to voicemail.”
I tap my phone screen and find three missed calls from my best friend. “Guess I still had it on silent. What’s up?” I’m already up and shutting down the computer before he says another word. But when he does? It’s like everything in me freezes and speeds up at the same time.
“Your girlfriend is beating down the heavyweight bag like a pro. Been at it for almost half an hour.” I’m out the door before I realize it, jogging toward my truck with Reece on my heels as he continues to talk. “The guys thought she was just putting in a hard workout until Jace came in. He says he thinks she’s stuck in—”
“—a panic attack. Yeah. Thanks for the heads up,” I say as I slam my truck door with more force than necessary.
I drive the short distance to the gym, glad for the lack of speed traps, because I’m definitely in super speeder territory for our little residential town. As I step into the gym in a record three minutes, it is immediately apparent where Leila is. Also apparent is that there are too many busybodies in this town who don’t know how to mind their own damn business.
