Page 47 of Keep You Safe
“Amazing.”
“Marvelous,” I enthused along with Maverick, both of us applauding, but Hannah kept right on frowning.
“Willow’s outfit is fancier.” Ah. There was the problem. Willow and Colt had taken an early morning ride together before leaving for Colt’s mother’s house to finish getting ready. We’d all seen Willow’s outfit when she’d shown it off after purchasing it in Denver. Rodeo queen vibes for days, it was a rhinestone-embellished sparkly pink. Very Willow, and totally at odds with Hannah’s more understated personal style.
“And your dress is perfect for you.” Maverick patted her on the shoulder.
I joined him in stepping closer so I could add, “One thing I’ve learned is that it’s better to be yourself than be caught up in comparisons and fake personas.”
“Thanks.” Hannah offered a small smile as she went to fetch her coat from the row of hooks by the back door.
As soon as she was out of earshot, Maverick snorted.
“What?” My back tensed. I undoubtedly wasn’t going to like his reply.
“No offense, but you’re the biggest people pleaser I know.” Maverick laughed like he’d made some big joke. I didn’t. “You’re one of my closest friends, but I’m not sure even I have seen the real you.”
“Oh.” I exhaled hard, no idea how to reply to that. He was right on all counts, not that I’d admit it aloud. Giving people what they wanted from me was far easier than offering up my messy real self. Besides, pleasing people felt good. Was it so wrong to want to put up an affable front?
“It was good advice though.” Maverick’s tone was encouraging, warm enough to not be condescending. “You should try taking it.”
“I’m not sure the world is ready for the full Adler experience.” I forced a teasing tone, but my voice came out too stiff. Regardless of Maverick’s intent, my stomach churned.
“The world might surprise you,” Maverick said as Faith floated down the stairs.
“You look great.” I seized the distraction of Faith’s arrival like the last life jacket on a sinking ship. Whirling into action, I herded all of us to the truck. Maybe if I kept moving, I wouldn’t have to think about what Maverick had said.
Didn’t work. The whole drive to the courthouse, I considered the persona I’d cultivated for well over a decade, probably closer to two. My helpful demeanor and unflappable attitude made me who I was, made me good at my job, won me friends, and…
Made me quietly miserable behind the mask.Never let them see you sweat.I’d taken that adage to heart, to the point I might as well get it tattooed on my chest. Even after getting sober, I’d been careful to never be too heavy about my recovery experience, never confess to the loneliness, and never own up to how hard the work I was doing was. At meetings, I occasionallyfound the courage to share deeply, but more often than not, I found my solace in comforting others, not in examining my own truths.
Except around Grayson. With him, I could admit to my complicated family situation. With him, I could be in a bad mood or play the brat, and he not only didn’t send me away, he seemed to like it better when I let the persona drop. He let me push and push, giving me the space to be real in the midst of a relationship that could never be.
Fuck my life.I shook my head to clear it as we arrived at the courthouse, shifting my focus wholly to Maverick and his nerves. As we waited outside the courtroom along with other guests, Maverick paced away from the throng of eager family and friends.
“Nervous?” I asked as I followed after him. Dumb question when he was radiating restless energy, yet I felt honor-bound to try to soothe him. The official witnesses were Colt’s aunt and Faith, but I wasn’t about to shirk my friend duty.
“Not about whether I’m doing the right thing.” Maverick stopped to lean against a wide pillar. “I love Colt, and there’s nothing I want more than to marry him. I hope I can be the spouse he deserves.”
“You’re the husband he wants.” I hadn’t seen Colt yet, but anyone who’d spent any amount of time with the two of them would never doubt the depth of feeling on both sides. “And you’re Maverick Lovelorn. If anyone can rise to the challenge, it’s you.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” Maverick offered a smile. Giving him a pep talk was laughably easy. They had love on their side, along with a willingness to do the hard work of making a marriage last. Working in hospitality, I’d seen any number of weddings where impending doom was only tooobvious. Colt and Maverick were the real deal, though, the rare couple who made me believe in happy endings.
For them at least. My earlier melancholy followed us into the courtroom, hovering over me as I took a seat on a long bench with Faith and the girls. Fittingly, Colt and Maverick stood alone in front of the judge. They hadn’t wanted to pressure the girls into standing with them, but their choice to keep things simple was rather fitting, a symbol of them taking on the world together.
The judge was a stately woman with a long history of working with Colt on county business, and she said all the right things during the short but meaningful ceremony. I very consciously didn’t glance around to see if Grayson had made it to the ceremony. However, he was certainly on my mind as Colt and Maverick took their vows. How ironic that I’d met the man of my deepest dreams, yet couldn’t tell a soul, let alone hope for a moment like this.
After the ceremony, I shoved my jealousy and longing back down where they belonged and pasted on a wide smile as I greeted the happy couple.
“That was beautiful.”
“We did it.” Maverick’s expression was a mix of relief and awe.
“You did.” I slapped him on the back. “Now to party.”
The reception was out at the fairgrounds in one of the buildings available for event rentals. The Spartan space had been transformed by twinkling lights and glittery decorations, in keeping with the New Year’s Eve theme. I busied myself helping Colt’s relatives set out tables full of food and desserts. The familiarity of the host role was comforting, and I’d almost relaxed into a decent mood when I spied Grayson lurking against the back wall. The smarter thing would be to avoid him entirely, but I couldn’t resist marching over.
“I see you made it.”
