Page 63 of Keep You Safe
“Good.” A grin spread across Adler’s face. He reached his free hand toward me, then dropped it. “I really want to kiss you right now, but that might be a step too far, given how pale you currently are.”
That sounded like a fine idea to me, one I wasn’t going to waste time ruminating over. Instead, I leaned in and gave him a fast, hard kiss. Not our longest by any means, but it got the job done.
“Well.” Voice all dazed, Adler swallowed hard. “Okay then.”
“Figured I might as well cowboy up.” I shrugged as if my heart wasn’t nearly pounding out of my chest. “My dad gave a shit ton of bad advice, but the first time I signed up to rodeo, five minutes before go time, I told him I was scared. He said to do it anyway because if I waited until I wasn’t scared, I’d miss my chance.”
“If it helps, I’m scared too,” Adler whispered.
“You?” I scoffed. Adler was nothing if not fearless. He’d tackled everything from skinny dipping to riding to difficult chores with his patented brand of reckless enthusiasm. In fact, his full-speed-ahead mode was one of the things I liked most about him. “Of what? You already know how to relationship. Date. Whatever. I don’t even know the right verb.”
“Your faith in me is admirable.” Adler gave a nervous chuckle. “But I’m as new to this as you are. I’ve never made a serious relationship work. I’m a lot. I try not to be, but I am. I’m dramatic. I have to work hard to not be messy. I’m chronically impulsive. I tend to leap without looking.”
“I’m not worried about any of that.” I waved my free hand, internally cursing the world that had told Adler he was too much of anything. He wasn’t. He was the perfect Adler and perfect for me. “I scrape horseshit for a living. Your mess doesn’t scare me. You leaping got us this far. And got me two dogs.”
“I don’t always like following orders.” Apparently reassured, he offered a flirty smile.
“Luckily, I know how to deal with that.” I matched his suggestive smile with one of my own. “Hell, I might prefer your bratty side.”
“You do seem to bring it out of me.” He winked, making me feel like we were the only two people in the room. I knew we weren’t, and I was vaguely aware of chatter around us, but as long as I focused solely on Adler, I didn’t care about anything other than his easy smile. “Speaking ofout, how long are you planning to sit here?”
“You’re saying we can leave early?” My exhale was undoubtedly loud enough to be heard three rooms away. I might be coping surprisingly well with knowing at least some of the chatter was about us, but I was also more than ready to make my escape and get more kissing in with Adler without an audience.
“Your work here is done.” He chuckled warmly before standing and offering me a hand up. “Let’s go watch some of those neglectedJeopardyepisodes at your place.”
“My dick might have other plans,” I said in a low voice.
“Excellent.” Keeping our hands linked, he led me toward the back door.
“Not staying for cake?” Maverick stood near the door, knife in hand, knowing grin firmly in place.
“Nope.” Adler cheerfully answered for both of us. And with that, we collected our coats and headed out into the cold afternoon, where dusk was already threatening. My heart,though, was anything other than dark and gray. I couldn’t remember ever feeling lighter and more hopeful.
“Maybe your optimism is wearing off on me,” I mused to Adler on the walk to my place. We were still holding hands, even with no one to see. Felt right, his hand in mine. I squeezed it a little tighter.
“You say that now. Are you going to be okay tomorrow when someone tries to tease us?” His tone was more serious than mine. “That’s probably inevitable, even if it’s more good-natured razzing. There were enough raised eyebrows that I’m sure Maverick wasn’t the only one who noticed.”
“That was the point.” I shrugged. “Let them. I’m done letting fear of gossip hold me back from living my life. You were right that I was letting my past hamstring my future. I’ve got enough old wounds as it is. I don’t need to keep poking the one my parents’ split left.”
“It’s okay to acknowledge the pain and honor that part of you too.” Adler stopped so he could meet my gaze. “I’m not asking you to take out a billboard, only to live your life, like you said.”
“I called my mother.” I stamped my feet against the cold. I hadn’t been intending to share that tidbit, but it came out anyway.
“Oh? How’d that go?” Adler’s tone was understandably cautious.
“Awkward.” My breath hung in front of me. The temperature was dropping, so I resumed our walk. Adler, bless him, waited quietly for me to continue. “Better than expected, I guess.”
“I’m glad you took the step of calling her, even if it was hard.” Adler stepped close enough to bump my shoulder.
I released a self-conscious chuckle because the hardest part had been hitting the Call button. She’d answered right away, wary but not at all unhappy to hear from me. We’d both been conversationally rusty, but I didn’t regret dialing.
“I spent a lot of years blaming her alone for the gossip firestorm.” I slowed my strides as we reached my trailer. “Easier than seeing both my parents as human. Way easier than admitting how much my dad’s drinking was also to blame.”
“You can be proud of him for getting sober and still admit the toll it took on your whole family, you included.” Adler lingered in front of my steps.
“Yeah.” I exhaled hard before unlocking my door. Calling my mother had felt weirdly disloyal to the man I owed so much, but Adler was right that my father’s drinking had affected all of us. Ignoring that fact wasn’t doing me any favors.
I waited through the usual circus of greeting the dogs and letting them out before I resumed our conversation.
