Page 77 of Legacy of Lies
At least he’d abandoned the idea of using her as his watchperson for Zach. Manipulating her to help Garrison be a decent parent? One look at her trusting face, and he knew he couldn’t do it. Couldn’t use her for his own selfish purposes.
“Let’s sit inside the barn for a bit,” he said.
She frowned and stepped back with a wary, shuttered expression. Probably waiting for him to say something equally as idiotic as he did the other night. Hopefully, he could keep from shoving his foot in his mouth, because damn it, he liked Sara.
But he wouldn’t push her into a miserable life, either.
They sat at the end of the barn, the warmer air punctuated by the sounds of horses in their stalls. A peaceful calm settled on him—something he hadn’t felt for years on the ranch.
“I am glad if it relieved your stress.” Her words from the ugly end to a beautiful night came back to haunt him.
Damn it. Maybe that was the problem: He needed to choose better things to say to this woman. He should probably try telling her how he felt, while he was at it. His skin crawled with the prospect of opening himself up to someone else. Yet another skill in which he was sorely deficient.
But he’d give it a try for Sara.
“Um, listen. I don’t want you to be on the ranch because of me.”
She reared back like she’d been hit, her wide-eyed expression nearly destroying his resolve. “What?”
“Okay, that came out wrong. Damn it.” He faced her on the bench. “I really like you. But life isn’t great right now on the ranch.”
“Oh, I see.” The light in her eyes dulled.
“No, you don’t. See, I had a wife who didn’t like it here. You know how that worked out.”
“I understand what you’re saying.”
He gritted his teeth. “No, you don’t. I want you to like being here. On the ranch. With me.”
“But I do. Garrison, I enjoy spending time with you.”
“Yeah, but you’re not cut out for this life.” Son of a bitch. “That came out wrong, too. Damn it, I can’t say the right things around you.”
Thank God she giggled a little.
“What I’m saying is, I don’t want to force you into a life you don’t want. I can’t handle a repeat of what happened before.”
“We’re talking about what you want?”
With that little smile, either she was teasing him or about to eviscerate him.
He swallowed. “Well, yes.”
“Don’t you think that’s kind of selfish?”
His chest felt like it had caved in, and he opened his mouth, only to be stopped by her hand in front of him.
The wry twist to her mouth made his heart clench in response. “Want to know what I want?”
“Okay.”
She opened her mouth but paused. Finally, she started. “I want for you and your family not to get hurt. And I have a future planned that doesn’t involve Copper River. So, along those same lines, we are in agreement: I shouldn’t even be here.”
Whoa. Something had gone way wrong with this conversation. She couldn’t even meet his eyes. “You want to leave? Again?”
“No.” She twined her fingers in her lap. “And that’s the problem.”
“You’re not making any sense.”
