Page 40 of Paging Dr. Breakup
“Why is this different?”
“Because whatever people think that Calvin and I have, it isn’t real. We’re using each other as a cover to survive until after the Breakup Festival and he gets his parents squared away. Then he’s going back to Seattle.”
Mav cocked his head to the side and propped his chin on his fist. “How do you feel about that?”
She smashed the twinge in her chest and set her jaw against the rush of eyelid-burning emotion. “Perfectly fine. That was the deal.”
“Deals can change.”
“Not this one.”
“What if it could change? If there’s a chance for you two? Would you want that?”
She rubbed the prickles of irritation forming on the back of her neck. “It’s a moot point.”
“If it wasn’t a moot point, what would keep you from trying?”
Another wave of emotions and memories swamped her, and she swallowed a hard lump. “My past is messy. I took a chance on someone and look how it turned out.”
“That’s a cop-out, sis. You and Elijah had more than ten good years together. Yes, he was gone too soon, and it wasn’t enough time. Yes, I miss him. You miss him. We can’t bring him back, which sucks.”
“I… Elijah, then Mom and Dad. It’s been a lot. My heart can only take so much.”
“And?”
It took a moment to unclamp her jaw. “I can’t go through another loss like that, Mav. Not again.”
“There’s the truth.” His smile was warm but sad.
Understandable as they both missed their parents.
“I’ve got a lot of baggage to carry.”
“The right person can help with the load.”
“He’s leaving.”
“Or not. You don’t know for sure.” He lifted a hand when she started to speak. “Grief doesn’t go away, but you can grow your heart around it to make more room.”
She closed one eye and stared at him. Who was this guy and what happened to her little brother? “Oh my gosh, so cheesy. Was that Dr. Phil?”
He shook his head. “Podcast on grief.”
“Look at you, working through emotions.”
“Yeah, you should try it one day.”
“Sure.”
“Don’tsureme, Dee.” He pushed to his feet, stepped around the desk, and leaned down to haul her into a hug around her shoulders that triggered more burning behind her eyelids. Stupid younger brother with a stupid hug being stupid and comforting. “If you won’t risk anything, then will you ever truly be alive and whole again?”
“That’s deep.”
“I want you to be happy.”
“Same here.”
“I am. Thanks in some part to my meddling sister.” He patted her on the shoulder and headed to the door. “You’re solid with everything you do, sis. You’ve got this.”
