Page 23 of Preacher Man
And maybe he was right.Because I was slipping deeper into him.
And deeper into sin.
Because no matter how good it felt, no matter how right it seemed, I couldn’t stop hearing the voices in my head.
The church.
My father.
My own.
Taint not thyself with unnatural desires.
You are a shepherd.Not a sinner.
Man shall not lie with man…
God, why couldn’t I just find a nice Christian woman, settle down, have some Bible-approved babies, and pretend this part of me didn’t exist?Why couldn’t I just pray these feelings away like I was taught?
Why did Jake have to be the one?
He shifted behind me, his lips brushing my shoulder.“You awake?”he mumbled, voice rough and sleepy.
I swallowed hard, heart flipping at the sound of it.“Yeah.”
He rolled onto his back, then leaned over to kiss me on the cheek.“Morning, sweetheart.”Then he wrinkled his nose.“Whew.One of us has got some serious morning breath.Might be you.Might be me.Jury’s out.”
I huffed a laugh, one I didn’t mean to let out, but God help me, he made it easy to forget everything else when he looked at me like that.Like I was the only man in the world.
He got up, stark naked, scratching his abs, and yawning as he padded to the bathroom.
And Lord help me, I couldn’t stop watching him.
His body was pure sin.All muscle and swagger, that perfect V at his hips that led straight to the thing that had ruined me over and over again for fourteen straight nights.I watched the way his back flexed, the calm confidence in his every step.
I didn’t just want him.
I needed him.
And that’s what terrified me most.
I buried my face in the pillow, groaning into it like that might make the shame go away.It didn’t.
A minute later, he came back out, damp from the sink, wearing nothing but a smile.And damn if that wasn’t the most dangerous thing of all.
“You look like you’re thinkin’ too hard,” he said, eyes gleaming.“Gotta do something about that.”
Before I could say a word, Jake pounced—all heat and weight and laughter, crashing down on top of me with a playful growl.
“Jake!”I yelped, laughing as he started kissing and tickling me at the same time.
“You’ve been lookin’ way too serious this morning,” he said, kissing along my jaw and poking at my ribs until I was squirming.“I’m your man.It’s my God-given duty to make you giggle.”
“I don’t giggle,” I protested, breathless.
“You are giggling,” he said smugly, kissing me right on the nose.“Admit it.I’m adorable.”
Jake kept going, relentless, and I couldn’t stop laughing, couldn’t stop feeling him, all around me, inside me, even though he hadn’t touched me like that yet this morning.He was everywhere.He was everything.And the scariest part was, so was I.My arms automatically wrapped around his shoulders.My legs tangled around his waist.My heart, hell, my soul, belonged to him.
