Page 28 of Preacher Man
He shook his head.
“Look at me and tell me why, Ethan.Say it.”
He turned, red-eyed and shaking.“Because it’s wrong!”he cried.“Because it’s a sin, Jake!I wake up in your arms and feel like I’m going to hell, and I can’t… God, I can’t do this anymore.”
I took two steps and grabbed his face between my hands.“How can what we have be a sin?”I asked, voice sharp with pain.“When it feels like the only thing that’s ever made sense to me?”
He gasped and tried to pull away, but I wouldn’t let him.“How can it be wrong,” I whispered, “when every time I touch you, I feel whole?”
I kissed him.
Hard.
He whimpered into my mouth, hands pressed to my chest like he was trying to push me away, but his fingers curled into my shirt.
I slid one hand down to his hip, pulling him close.“God made you,” I said, dragging my lips along his jaw.“And God made me.And God sure as hell made this.”I placed his hand on my bulge.
“Jake—” His voice cracked.
“Don’t fight me.”I unbuttoned the top of his shirt.“Let me love you.”
His knees buckled, and I caught him, my lips never leaving his skin.
We stumbled together across the tiny office, knocking a stack of hymnals to the floor.I backed him into the desk, lifting him up and settling between his legs.He let out a sound—half sob, half moan—and I swallowed it.
His hands were in my hair now.Desperate.Wild.
“You think God doesn’t know your heart?”I asked as I slipped his shirt off his shoulders.“You think He doesn’t see how much you love me?”
“I never said… ”
“You don’t have to,” I breathed, dragging my mouth down his throat.“I feel it.Every time you shake in my arms.Every time you beg for my cock.”
Ethan gasped, his head falling back.
I pressed my forehead to his.“I’m not a sin.And neither are you.”
Then I dropped to my knees, and his fingers trembled against the back of my neck.“Ethan,” I whispered, looking up at him as I unbuckled his belt, “You can’t tell me this is wrong.Not when it feels this right.”
He shuddered, his breath hitching as I slid his zipper down.“Jake...we’re in a church,” he breathed, but there was no conviction behind his words.Only desperation.Only need.
“And who better to watch over us than Him?”I murmured, pressing a kiss to his stomach as I slid his pants down.“Who better to see the truth in this?”
His hands were in my hair, gripping tightly as I took his thick cock in my mouth.Ethan moaned, and I slowly began working his shaft with my fist and my mouth.Ethan’s breath came in ragged gasps, his body trembling as I worshipped him in the most sacred of spaces.His fingers tightened in my hair, pulling almost painfully, but I didn’t care.I wanted his pain, his pleasure, his everything.
“Jake,” he choked out, voice filled with tears and need.“Please...”
I looked up at him, my mouth still around him, and his eyes...God, his eyes.They were shattered, torn between desire and despair.I could see it all.The war within him, the battle between what he wanted and what he thought was right.
I pulled back just enough to speak, my hand still moving up and down his girth.“Please what, Ethan?Tell me what you want.”
He sobbed, his head thudding back against the wall behind him.“I want...I want you.But I can’t...I can’t have you.”
“You can,” I insisted, my voice raw.“You do.Right now, Ethan, you have me.And I have you.”
I took the head of his cock inside me, feeling it throb, and his hips jerked, pushing more of his length into me.His body knew what it wanted, even if his mind was a mess of fear and guilt.
His breath hitched, and he was close—so close.But I needed him to understand.I needed him to see how much I cared for him.
