Page 14 of Whiskey Promises
He opens his mouth to say something and then snaps it closed with a rueful chuckle. "You're right. Mistakes were made. I willingly followed your crazy ass out to a golf course to rescue a goddamn alligator from a pond."
"They were hitting him with golf balls!" I don't care if he is an alligator; no animal deserves to be pelted with golf balls all day by drunk golfers who think torturing a living thing is a goodtime. I couldn't leave him there. We were just going to move him from the pond to the river, where he'd could live his life in peace.
Connor just shakes his head, chuckling at me. "What kind of crime do you want to commit this time? A zoo heist? Pilfering the dog park? A circus smash and grab?"
I toss another fry at him, laughing. "I hate you, do you know that?"
"Whatever, bitch." He snatches the fry, popping it into his mouth. "You fucking love me."
He's right. I do. He's been my ride-or-die since the day I nearly knocked him down during our freshman year. He was the popular new jock on campus. I was the…well, definitely not that. I was the rebel with ninety-nine causes, and a famous sister. I was trying my best to keep her secrets and stay sane. I didn't people well. I still don't, honestly. But Connor gets me.
The day Nadia announced that she was checking herself into rehab again, I was a mess. I told him the whole heartbreaking story. He told me his secret. We've been joined at the hip ever since.
"Seriously, Z. What do you want this time?" he asks, sobering.
"For you to be my boyfriend?" I say, giving him puppy dog eyes.
"Uh…" He glances around before leaning closer. "Hate to break it to you, but gay means I like cock, cupcake."
"I know!" I cry, drawing attention from surrounding tables. I slouch in my seat until they all go back to their conversations and stop staring. "It wouldn't be a real relationship. I just need you to pretend we're in love during Nadia's wedding."
"Why?"
"No reason."
"Why, Zoya?"
"Because my sister is evil and moved the wedding to Jareth's vineyard," I say, burying my face in my hand. "Now, I have tospend two weeks trying not to jump into bed with him." I take a breath, peeking at Connor through my fingers. "And I might have told him that you're my boyfriend when I saw him a few weeks ago?"
"Um, excuse me? You did what?"
"I panicked!" I cry quietly. "He was all hot, and he was touching me and kissing me and talking about getting me wet. And then he said that he didn't think I actually had a boyfriend. You know I can't do hotandarrogant. It's just not survivable. So I showed him your picture and said you were my boyfriend." I inhale a deep breath. "Mistakes were made."
"Fucking clearly. I like cock."
"I know!"
"I'm not kissing you, Zoya."
"You get to spend two weeks at a fancy vineyard with a hot rockstar. And he has a twin."
"Jesus Christ. He has a twin?"
"Identical," I confirm.
"Is the twin gay?"
"I don't know. But Nadia said he has a bunch of hot cousins. And one of them is married to a woman and a man. So maybe there's another one who swings your way."
"Hold up. He's married to a mananda woman?" Connor arches a brow.
"Yep."
"Well, I'm definitely going to this fucking wedding now," he mumbles, sitting back in his chair with wide eyes. "How does that even work?"
"Pornhub probably has the answers you seek," I suggest helpfully.
"Yeah, well, that's blocked in this lame-ass state now."
