Page 12 of Hold Me Closer
I turn back to Zoya to find her peeking over her shoulder at Jareth, her brows furrowed as she watches him and Tanner, my keyboardist, break down the equipment on stage. Lemmy is neck-deep in groupies off to the side of the stage.
"Interesting, how?" she finally asks.
"He has a twin, for starters."
She turns back to me, eyes wide. "Seriously?"
"Identical."
"Holy crap."
"And he owns a vineyard."
"Heownsa vineyard?" She gapes at me and then shakes her head. "Your friends are not like my friends, Nadia."
I laugh quietly. "Hollywood is a whole different world."
"No kidding. I thought Nashville was glitz and glam when you were first starting out, but this place is…" She shakes her head, glancing around with wide eyes. "I don't think I'll ever get used to it."
"Me either," I admit in a whisper. I've been here for the last three years, and it still feels completely foreign to me sometimes. Even when I started making a name for myself in Nashville, it was still home. It's not like that here.
Maybe that's why I've always found it so soothing.
It doesn't feel like home. It doesn't feel likehim.
Until he was traded to the Sabres, there wasn't a single piece of him here. I could go anywhere and do anything, and I didn't have to think about him. The last few months have been hell. He's everywhere all over again, invading every damn space I carved out for myself.
"I sent videos to Mom and Dad," Zoya says. "They're proud of you."
"I miss them so much," I whisper. My family has always been close, but the last few years have been hard. They all understand why I can't be there, and they're patient with me, but I know it breaks their hearts that I avoid coming home.
"You know they'll fly out again soon," Zoya promises, trying to reassure me. "There's no way Dad is going to let you be out here by yourself for more than a few months at a time without showing up to check in."
I smile because she's right. He makes an excuse at least every two or three months for him and Mom to fly out for a few days. We all see right through him, but I keep a guest room ready for them. There's no way I'll ever tell them no.
"Are you happy here?" Zoya asks, slipping her hand into mine.
"Yeah, I'm happy here." As happy as I can be, I guess. Maybe one day, I'll learn how to be truly happy again. I'll move on and forget about Teo. Or I'll learn to accept that I'll never move on. He's had my whole heart since I was a little girl, and I've never quite figured out how to take it back. Not after he broke it. Not after six years. Not ever. Someday, that has to stop hurting so much…right?
But for once, my life is finally on the right track. I'm not just stumbling through it, trying to forget him. I'm chasing my dreams, even if they don't look exactly the way I always hoped they might. I'm…content.
That has to count for something.
"Truly happy, Nadia?" Zoya presses, eyes narrowed on me.
The bartender saves me from having to lie to her. He slides our shots across the bar toward us, distracting her from prying for an answer. She immediately scoops hers up, one dark brow arched.
I groan, scooping mine up, too. "You aren't getting me drunk tonight, baby sister."
"We'll see about that," she says, smirking.
"I'm serious! I have to be at the studio early."
Mischief dances in her hazel eyes. "Then you better drink your weight in water because you're about to drink it in vodka." She bats her lashes at me. "Now, drink."
I scowl at her, tipping the shot back. It burns down my throat, making me shiver. Zoya doesn't even flinch as she downs hers.
"Gah!" I shudder, slamming my glass down on the bar. "I don't know how you and Dad drink this!"
