Page 37 of Undercover
Steven’s low laugh startled me back to reality. “I’ll let you two lovebirds enjoy each other’s company. I need to make the rounds. Gabe, it was wonderful to meet you. Call me on Monday, and we’ll set an appointment, all right?”
“Yes, thank you, and I really appreciate your time, Dr.—Steven. Thank you.” Gabe sounded about a breath away from hyperventilating.
I murmured something polite, and Steven vanished into the crowd.
“Oh my God,” Gabe said, very fast and low, turning to me. He didn’t dislodge my arm, though. “He said he’d talk to the board!”
“That’s amazing, Gabe. He thinks they’ll reinst—” Fuck, fuck fuck. I cut myself off with a fake cough, bringing a hand up to my mouth and clearing my throat. Gabe peered up at me, his brow starting to furrow. Had he caught my mistake? Of course he must have. He’d never told me he got kicked out. All he’d said was that he’d dropped out. “Sorry, my throat’s dry. Why would he need to talk to the board? Can’t you just go back? If you took a, what’s it called. Sabbatical, or something?”
“It wasn’t a sabbatical,” he said slowly. “How did you—did you ask someone about me?”
And there it was, dawning suspicion. Exactly what I’d been praying I could avoid.
Inspiration struck. Dave. I could throw him under the bus without even giving it a second thought. Of course, that meant another lie. Digging myself deeper. Fuck, but what choice did I have, other than having it all out right here and now? Ruining things with Gabe, fucking up my case, a total lose-lose, and a huge public scene on top of it.
If that happened, I’d be lucky if AD Kyle sent me to Omaha to chase illegal cows. I’d end up in Anchorage investigating glacier-related crime for the rest of my natural fucking life.
And every second I hesitated, Gabe would be getting more suspicious.
No choice. “I ran into Dave on my way back to the party. He told me you’d gotten expelled. He was kind of an asshole, to be honest.”
At least that last part had the virtue of being true.
“Oh, God,” Gabe moaned. “Really? He had to go and tell you? I meant to tell you!” he added quickly. “I’m so sorry I lied about it. I was just so embarrassed. I didn’t want to admit I’d gotten kicked out of the program to someone I, you know.” His cheeks flushed even redder than they’d already been, and he looked away and down, biting his lip. Not the place or the time to lean down and soothe it with my tongue. “Someone I wanted to impress.” He said that so softly I nearly couldn’t hear him over the music and the buzz of the crowd.
That cracking, splitting feeling in my chest couldn’t be my heart actually breaking, right? But the heavy, awful lump in my stomach was definitely the deepest, most awful shame I’d ever felt. Standing here and listening to Gabe, sweet and open and kind Gabe, apologizing tomefor lying about something that didn’t affect me at all, something he had every right to hide, made me feel about two inches tall. The ideal height to step on. I’d deserve it if he did.
“Hey,” I said, my voice cracking. “Hey. You shouldn’t be embarrassed. I mean, I don’t know what you did to get kicked out, but it can’t be that bad, and if it is, I’m still on your side. You didn’t owe me any explanation. It’s your business. And I’m not exactly perfect. Far from it.”
Gabe gazed at me for a long moment, his head cocked to the side. Like he needed a minute to take me in, to judge me.
I held my breath.
Finally, he smiled, and my lungs let go with a whoosh. “Let’s get out of here,” he said.
I’d never heard a better idea.
12
Gabe
Walking out of the party turned out to be strangely easy. Every time I’d wanted to leave one of my family’s events before, it’d turned into a festival of dirty looks, passive-aggressive remarks, guilt, and resentment.
This time I skipped all that, by the simple expedient of not talking to anyone at all. I just left, Alec at my side.
We collected his car from the valet and took off without any trouble at all. My parents probably wouldn’t even notice we’d gone.
Dave might, of course, the asshole. I couldn’t believe he’d had the nerve to tell Alec I’d been kicked out of school.
But it didn’t matter. Alec didn’t have much to say on the way home, but he held my hand most of the way and kept sneaking little glances at me, a smile playing around the corners of his mouth. Like he felt as happy as I did, like he also had that champagne-bubble feeling in his stomach and his chest and couldn’t quite contain it.
We hadn’t even been at the party that long. The very last purple of twilight had only faded out of the sky as we drove off of the peninsula and back into Burlington proper. We’d only stayed an hour and half, maybe, but I felt like a completely different person. Someone sexy enough to make Alec lose his self-control. Someone worthy enough to go back to school and finish my doctorate—even if it’d made my conversation with Dr. Wilson more than a little uncomfortable, knowing I had a sodden lump of hastily rinsed manties in my trouser pocket the whole time. I had to make a mental note not to go commando when I met him for that appointment he’d promised me.
And all I’d had to do was go for it. The high of an orgasm with a man who’d cared more about my pleasure than his, who’d treated me and my hesitant, vulnerable attempt at kinkiness with respect and desire, had given me the courage.
I’d gone downstairs and sought Dr. Wilson out, introducing myself and asking him for his help. Honestly, straight-up, with a bellyful of nerves but without that sinking sensation of inevitable failure that’d haunted me ever since I lost my place in my grad program.
The squeak of brakes startled me out of my reverie, and I blinked back to reality to find Alec had parked in front of my condo.
