Page 23 of The Alpha Experiment
The impulse to put my hands on his only grew. How would the muscles and tendons feel under my fingers? Would it calm him down? Was I completely losing my shit? Probably interesting, no, and yes, in that order.
It had to be a reaction to dealing with an angry alpha. Maybe his pheromones were stimulating my latent werewolf traits, urging me to submit and soothe.
Oh, gods, wouldn’t that be ironic, if I suddenly got all wolfy, only in all the wrong ways. The lame, not-super-strong, not-super-agile ways.
“Okay,” Colin said at last, cutting into the tense semi-silence of my harsh, too-fast breaths. “You talked to him. That was fucking stupid, Newt. Like he was going to admit anything over the phone. And now he what—he fucking knows he has you by the balls?”
“Yeah,” I whispered. “Basically. He’s going to ruin my career if I don’t give him my research. Get me fired, make sure no one else will hire me—and yes, he probably could do that. If he has some pull, he can do it.”
Colin frowned at that. “You telling me you’re not actually in any danger? Your—career? Newt, I don’t get it. Why the photos? And why the fuck didn’t you tell me right away?”
I winced, and ignored the last question. “He didn’t admit to sending them.”
“Of course he sent them!”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Yes, of course he sent them, but he didn’t admit it, so I couldn’t ask him why. To intimidate me? Prove he knows everything about me and can easily screw me over? It worked, didn’t it?”
Colin didn’t say anything for a minute, his version of admitting I was right.
“And all this is research. For him,” he said at last. “You’re working for these assholes now?” He took a hand off the chair at last, leaving actual dents in the shape of his fingers, and picked up one of the books from the desk:TheSocial Habits of Predator-Species Alphas. “Because it sure as fuck looks like it.”
I gathered up my courage. At this point, now that he knew some of it, Colin really needed to know everything, or he wouldn’t be able to help me deal with the situation.
“He gave me a month to come up with something. A breakthrough.”
Colin’s eyes flared with that alpha glow again. “A month orwhat?” he growled. “What the fuck did he say to you?”
I scrubbed my hands over my face, serving the triple purpose of hiding my expression, not having to see Colin’s, and getting my hands away from him. Seriously, what thehellwas up with my sudden desire to touch him?
“He didn’t say anything openly enough to do anything about,” I mumbled from behind my hands. “I recorded the call, but there’s nothing incriminating enough to count as blackmail or coercion, I don’t think.” I let my hands drop, because I could feel the force of Colin’s dark gaze boring through them, and I knew he wanted me to look at him. I couldn’t resist. “But he said enough to make it clear he’d get me fired, get me blacklisted, put pressure on Fiona to participate in some kind of creepy study. And maybe—” I swallowed hard, not wanting to tell him this part. He’d only feel guilty. But I’d come this far. “He made it sound like he had some dirt on you, too. And he might try to ruin your reputation. Even get you arrested.”
Colin pushed to his feet and paced the confines of the little room like a caged beast, pounding his fist against the wall as he spun back again.
“Fuck. Fuck!” He gave it another pound, and flakes of paint fluttered to the ground. He went for a third hit, and I jumped up and shoved my hand in between his fist and the wall.
The impact didn’t happen, just like I knew it wouldn’t. He froze where he stood, eye to eye with me again, his fist a hair’s breadth from crushing all the bones in my hand. Only this time, I could feel the heat of his body all along mine, and the need to close the tiny remaining distance felt like the strongest magnetism, like all of my cells had simultaneously spun around so their polarity matched his.
“You’re going to break the wall.” It came out sounding all weird, like I’d been running. “No breaking the library, Col. I think that chair’s already a goner.”
He glanced down at it, and then his eyes instantly flicked back to mine. Like he was having the same trouble pulling his attention away from me.
“I’m sorry I wrecked your library,” he said huskily, and the tone of it made a shiver run down the back of my neck. He cocked his head at me and slowly lowered his arm to his side. “You okay? I’m sorry, Newt. I shouldn’t have flipped out. But for someone so smart—that was really stupid. Confronting him like that. And I can’t believe he’s trying to use me against you. That’s—I want tokillhim.”
Yeah, it had been stupid, but on the other hand… “What should I have done then, huh? You tell me. Were we just going to sit there wondering what was going to happen next? Wondering if someone was trying to kill me and waiting for the other shoe to drop? At least now we know what’s going on and what’s actually at stake!”
“Fiona’s already safe at home, and you’re safe with me. We could’ve waited and done some investigating on our own.”
I sighed, maybe a little too heavily, and he glared at me. “Don’t give me that look. Yes, I know you’re the biggest, baddest alpha in the west. Fine. But we’re not investigators. And you have a pack to run. What was your plan, to hang around my apartment and sleep on my couch for the rest of our lives?”
Colin’s eyes widened, and his mouth dropped open. “Um. Maybe? I hadn’t…” He trailed off, shaking his head, sounding genuinely baffled. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead. Being on your couch is fine. The pack’s fine. I mean, I call and check in. But I hadn’t thought about leaving. Do you want me to? Is that what this is about?”
The idiot actually sounded hurt. “Are you kidding me? Want you to leave? I haven’t seen you in a year! You barely even respond to my calls and texts, which is fine, I know you’ve been busy, but Colin, of course I want you here! Just not because you have to be.”
“Shit, Newt.” Colin shifted, moving even more into what little personal space I had left. His mouth had set in a serious line, and his eyes held none of their usual mischief. “I’m so sorry. I know I’ve been a fucking worthless friend for a while, but I didn’t mean to be. I’ll make up for it now. I promise.”
Hugging him would be super weird, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to. Needing to, really, because the urge to wrap my arms around him felt like an itch under my skin that I couldn’t ignore and couldn’t soothe any other way.
“You don’t have anything to make up for.” And I truly believed that, but on the other hand, I wasn’t above turning his remorse to my advantage. Just a little teeny bit. “But you need to stop being pissed about my phone call, okay? I did what I thought was best, and I didn’t actually need your permission.”
