Page 58 of The Alpha Experiment
Better that than thinking about using my new purchase. I’d pretend I was buying them because they were pretty, and I’d never gotten an erection, and I hadn’t picturedanythingoranyone, and good science required fine instruments, so of course I had to buy them.
That was my story, and I was sticking to it.
Chapter 18
Tied Up in Knots
I didn’t broach the subject of the magical straps and cuffs for nearly twenty-four hours. In the meantime, they lurked in my closet, the bright green plastic shopping bag seeming to gaze at me malevolently when I had to open the door to get a dress shirt for work in the morning.
And Colin had me on edge, too, paradoxically because he’d been so goddamn normal.
It was like our fourth experiment had never happened. He’d never climbed into bed with me, fucked me, knotted me, and lain there with me while I fell asleep with his cock still inside me.
He acted like he always had: smiling, laughing, poking fun at me, hanging out on the couch and snacking, complaining about his pack council, and playing dumb games on his phone. No following me around—he barely stirred when I left the house for my morning class, just grunting and waving his fingers at me.
And he certainly hadn’t spent the night in my bed again. He’d been already lying on the couch when I came home from the adult store, settled in with a blanket over him and looking like the immovable object. He hadn’t suggested a change of venue, and I hadn’t either, simply asking a couple of questions about the pack council’s emails and then saying goodnight.
It was so not-weird that it was totally, completely weird. Maybe he’d really taken what I said about his overactive hormones to heart, and he’d made an effort to separate what his biological drives were telling him from what he genuinely felt and wanted.
That’s what I’d hoped he’d do. So why did it feel so shitty?
“…so I don’t know, dude, I think I’m done with superhero movies,” he said as the DVD menu came up, our movie pick over with. I’d barely noticed what we’d watched, my stomach in knots—so to speak. I felt like I was about to twitch out of my skin, and he kept chatting away about the costumes being too tight, or not tight enough, or something, and how any werewolf could’ve made that jump from one building to another, so why not a guy from another planet? “Next time let’s go for straight sci-fi,” he added. “Just as many explosions, not as much fucking latex and stupid plot holes.”
“Yeah, sounds good. I like explosions too.”
Colin stared at me. “‘I like explosions too’? Newt, are you high or something? Did that class this morning break your brain?”
I forced a smile, forced my hands not to fidget, forced myself to answer. “Nah, they were fine. First class after midterms. No one showed up anyway, so I basically told myself and three overachievers a bunch of stuff we all knew already.”
“Okay. So what’s up? I notice you didn’t deny you’re high. Speaking of holding out on me. If you cooked up something interesting in the lab today and you’re not sharing, see if I make you dinner again.”
I made a face at him. “Not really that kind of chemist, and also, I’m trying tokeepmy job.”
Colin raised an eyebrow at me. And waited.
It took me six seconds to crack. I counted.
“Okay, so I thought of another experiment to try,” I blurted. “With slightly different parameters. Same idea, but…something new.”
The other eyebrow went up to join the first. “Something new,” he repeated slowly. “I’m listening. But, like, I reserve the right to veto.”
“Of course! We won’t do anything you—wait a minute, what’s on your veto list?” I found myself suddenly, wildly curious.
And I also wanted to make sure he didn’t put bondage on the list. Not like I’d gotten myself a full leather suit and a gynecologist’s exam table or anything, but I could definitely spare myself the embarrassment of revealing I’d spent the equivalent of a month’s rent on magic handcuffs if it turned out he thought that kind of thing sucked.
Colin was looking deeply uncomfortable, his eyes flicking anywhere but mine. “Nothing in particular. Just, you know, throwing it out there.”
What he’d thrown was fuel on the fire of my burning desire to know.
“Come on, Col. What did they used to say in those middle school sex-ed classes? If you can’t say it, you shouldn’t be doing it?”
That earned me a laugh. “Yeah, Mrs. Mackey used to say that all the time. I don’t…look, it’s not like I actually have some kind of list. And the whole point is that I wouldn’t be doing it.”
And he’d said that in a tone of absolute finality. I knew Colin, I could tell when he’d dug in his heels like a stubborn goddamn mule.
Fine.
I took a deep breath. “Okay, so you know I didn’t quite get the results I’d been hoping for, right? No, I’m still happy about it,” I added quickly. “But whatever genes I activated, and I’ve got a ways to go working on figuring out what they do and why, they weren’t the ones I’d been targeting.”
