Page 30 of Lost and Bound
The words felt strange on my tongue, tasting bitter and rough. I hadn’t given it any conscious thought yet, but of course we’d be breaking the mating bond. It wasn’t an easy or pleasant process, but it could—and clearly should—be done, in this case.
But mating bonds, as I’d learned, had their own brand of semi-sentient magic, and mine gave a quiver at the words and the thought behind them.
I quivered too. Probably in reaction to the bond.
Calder went very still, the bar of soap clenched in his fist. “No,” he said. I opened my mouth to protest, but he went on with, “That isn’t how mating works.”
Oh. Shit, I thought he’d meant that he didn’t want to break the bond. My stomach dropped miserably. Of course he wanted to break the bond too. Why the hell wouldn’t he? Neither of us had wanted this. And he hadn’t wantedme.
And I hadn’t wantedhim, much more to the point, obviously!
“Okay, then what the hell is your—”
“That’s how I work.” His lips quirked a little. Patronizing fucking son of a bitch. “And that’s howyouwork. Apparently.”
“How I—you’re out of your fucking mind.” I glared up at him, standing my ground. Yes, I’d acted like a slut earlier. His slut, lying there and taking it. Spreading for it.
So I’d had a traumatic day. Year. Life. Whatever. I could be excused for taking a little comfort in something I usually wouldn’t want. For shutting down and going with the flow instead of telling him straight-up that I didn’t want to have sex with him, and that I wasn’t his plaything.
Calderlookedat me, his eyes glowing pale silver.
His cock stood out straight, now, rock-hard and straining. I could smell his arousal, scenting the air with enough pheromones and hot, spicy alpha musk to overpower the steam of the shower. My hole felt hot too, still wet with his come, still stretched from his knot. Ready to take him.
I couldn’t look away from his eyes, and my own eyelids drooped. My body went lax, all the resistance draining out of me.
What the fuck was happening to me?
I turned around, braced myself on the wall, and spread my legs, my head hanging down and my eyes shut, while my mind raced like a hamster in a wheel.
Calder pressed up behind me, his cock sliding into the crease of my ass like it belonged there. He pushed it against me, back and forth, rubbing over my hole.
“Tell me how you want it,” he said.
How I wanted it? Ididn’twant it! I’d never wanted to be fucked before, and I still wasn’t…like that. Submissive. Bending over when another man told me to.
I stuck my ass out further, pushing it against his cock.
Like my body wasn’t in my control at all.
Maybe I couldn’t say no. Maybe the bond was making me obey him, even though I’d never heard of that happening—bonds could and did nudge mates intowantingto please the other, but they couldn’t force you to do anything. Emotions were a bond’s playground, not actions. And I didn’t feel any differently than I had before.
Okay, maybe not. But I still couldn’t make myself say no.
Still. That didn’t mean I had to go along with whatever fucked-up game he’d decided to play. I wasn’t going to beg for his cock.
I forced the words out. “Just take me and get it over with.”
“That’s how you want it, then? Fast and rough?” He sounded painfully neutral, to the point of being strained. I almost craned my neck to try to catch a glimpse of his face, but there wasn’t much point. I wouldn’t be able to read anything there, anyway.
“I don’t care if it hurts. I mean, it’s going to hurt. I haven’t had any time to heal. Just do it, if you’re going to.”
Calder pulled back a little, letting his cock slide out from between my legs. I couldn’t feel him at all. Even the swirling steam seemed to still for a moment, holding its breath like I was holding mine.
“I told you. I wouldn’t—” He broke off with a low growl that made every hair on my body rise. “I keep my fucking word.” A hand replaced his cock, the sudden touch making me jump. He probed my hole with his fingers. “You don’t need to heal,” he said, sounding oddly defensive. “I didn’t injure you.”
I huffed a laugh. “Of course you did. I’m—all open.”
“Yeah,” he said, low and husky. “Yeah, you are.” Two fingers pressed inside, easily, meeting no resistance at all. “But that’s not the same as hurt. And I won’t even need to slick you up again. You’re still wet.”
