Page 33 of Lost and Bound
And then there was the question of Ian. My heart tried to leap and sank instead. Fuck, I didn’t know what to think, I just knew that the idea of seeing him again nauseated me more than my gnawing hunger.
Calder was already rolling out of bed, stretching his back—and okay, maybe I didn’t want to be mated to him, and I didn’t know what the hell Ididwant, but Christ, the muscles in his back and shoulders, and his ass and legs, were worth a lecherous stare or two—and looking like he was heading for the kitchen.
“I guess you could hear him through the phone, too?” Calder nodded, leaning down to pick up his stolen sweatpants off the floor.
It didn’t surprise me—my own hearing was keen enough that I’d have heard at least part of that conversation from across the small kitchen. And his had to be sharper than mine. He would’ve picked up every word Ian said, and maybe even Nate in the background. But knowing he’d heard andknowinghe’d heard were two different things. And having Calder privy to my own cousin’s suspicion and mistrust made it even more painful than having only heard it myself.
“Then you know as much as I do,” I said. “It wouldn’t surprise me if they scoped out the house first, instead of just driving up and knocking on the front door. I think Ian suspects it’s some kind of trap. I don’t know why, though, unless it’s just that I’ve been gone for so long without any explanation. And that’s the kind of thing you explain in person. Even if he’d given me the chance to tell him over the phone, which he didn’t.”
Calder nodded again, tying the string on the pants. “I’ll know when they’re nearby,” he said, without the slightest trace of uncertainty. “I can sense other alphas. Even when they’re hidden with magic. And your cousin’s an alpha.”
My eyebrows rose. “You could tell that over the phone?”
“Yes.”
He left the room without another word.
I slowly crawled out of bed and found my own makeshift clothing.
Well, dinner was likely to be had without much sparkling conversation, but judging by the rattling and thumping coming from the kitchen, at least the man was willing to cook. That was something.
Chapter 8
I Buried Him Myself
Calder woke me at the crack of dawn, a hand over my mouth and his massive body looming over me in the near-darkness. “They’re here,” he said quietly. “Not close enough to hear us talking at a normal volume, but close enough to maybe hear if you made some noise.”
My heart jumped into an instant gallop, my chest tightening, a wave of nausea rising up.
Ian. They were here. My cousin, my family…I was going to see them again. Now that it was imminent, I could hardly believe it. What if they hated me, which I richly deserved? What if they satisfied themselves that this wasn’t some kind of trick, and then…just left again?
Fuck. But Calder was tilting his head at me, raising his eyebrows.
I nodded behind his hand, and he pulled it away, apparently satisfied I’d keep quiet.
“We don’t need to be careful of them,” I said, propping myself up on my elbows and trying to get my brain jump-started. I’d never been a morning person. Even a jolt of overwhelming adrenaline wasn’t enough to make me truly alert, only jittery and miserable. “They think they need to be careful of us, that’s why they’re sneaking around. They’re no danger to either of us.”
“I don’t know them,” he growled, getting up and grabbing his clothes.
Well, those ridiculous pants. Not that he looked all that ridiculous in them. I had a feeling there was no garment on earth that could’ve made Calder less than intimidating as hell, and that included Hammer pants, or clown shoes.
Strike that. Calder in clown shoes would’ve been downrightterrifying.
I blinked that image away. Shit, I hated early mornings. I hated the way I couldn’t control my own thoughts, hated that they were nothing but a cascade of absurd images and gut-clenching anxiety.
“I know you don’t know them, but I do. Calder, look at me.”
To my great surprise, he turned, pants dangling from his hand, and gave me his full, glowing-eyed attention. “What.”
Well, at least he wasn’t being polite about it. That would’ve made me run screaming, sure the world was about to end.
“I took your word. Remember? Without question. It’s your turn. I give you my word. My cousins, my pack, they’re no danger to you. I mean, okay, I doubt you’re actually afraid of them. What the hell would you be afraid of? But they’re not going to try anything shady. They’ll defend themselves if necessary, but they’re…honorable.”
He blinked at me. “Why would you think I wouldn’t be afraid? Of course I am. How do you think I ended up in the same place as you? I’m not invulnerable, and I’m definitely not infallible.” That came out sounding distinctly bitter. “And even if they can’t hurt me, they could hurt you.”
I fidgeted uneasily, plucking at the edge of the sheet. “They would never hurt me. Unless you count telling me to fuck off and die, and they wished I’d never come back. They could hurt me that way. But not physically.”
I made myself stop fucking talking, because I couldn’t believe I’d actually said that shit out loud, the secret fears I’d been keeping bottled up pretty much the entire time I’d been held captive—and which had only grown in force and intensity since I’d talked to Ian.
