Page 4 of A Totally Platonic Thing
That was my story and I was sticking to it. Besides, my best friends had gotten so wrapped up in their own lives lately. And that was cool, I couldn’t blame Sebastian for wanting to spend his time studying and hanging with his fiancé. I mean, he would graduate and get married soon. And that took priority.
And my roommate Lucas had been busy too. He’d been seriously dating this girl who’d never really warmed up to me on the few occasions he’d tried to hang out with both of us. She’d given me a shitty vibe, kind of looking at me sideways and answering me in monosyllables when I’d tried to break the ice. Meanwhile, I’d had a crappy breakup. And what was I supposed to do, be all needy when he had his own relationship? So I’d tried to hide how much it affected me, and I’d ended up at the club way more so I didn’t feel so lonely, hanging out with my more casual friends, a group of gay guys who’d taken me under their wing when I turned twenty-one and started to get into the scene. And then Lucas and his girlfriend had broken up. And Lucas hadn’t wanted to talk about it. I got that he processed his breakup differently and didn’t want to dish all the details, but it still sucked that it felt like we were in the same boat and still weren’t spending any real time together. He’d thrown himself into his senior project instead, spending all his time at school.
So Lucas didn’t have time to go out, and my other friends weren’t even here tonight either. But whatever. Now I needed to enjoy myself solo. No big deal, right?
I swayed and bobbed to the heavy beat, glad I’d already swallowed the last of my vodka tonic when a tall blonde, also swaying but with the excuse of too-high heels, careened off one of her giggling friends and slammed into my arm. I bounced sideways and bumped into someone else’s back, and then there was a whole domino effect of shouted apologies and sympathetic grimaces, and finally I’d had enough.
Thursday was a shitty time to try to get laid at this place if you were gay. Aside from my own little friend group, any guys cruising Aeon outside of Sunday nights were the same three players I’d seen here every single night for months, or since it was college night, they were barely twenty-one and couldn’t hold their liquor. Like, I’d turned twenty-three in October, and I could totally hold my liquor. I didn’t know what their problem was.
Or sometimes they were closeted and dated me for months and had a live-in girlfriend the whole time. God. One more drink, because now I’d started thinking about Eli, I’d be depressed for hours if I didn’t forget him, stat.
Anyway. Moving on from the cheating, lying douchebag, Santa Rafaela might’ve been a Southern California college town, but the scene was still small. Small enough that I recognized most of the guys who went out a lot, and sadly even small enough that I would’ve recognized most of their dicks, too.
Even more sadly, many of those were also small enough.
Yeah, maybe I needed to start getting out less. I could spend the evening with Sebastian, but he didn’t even want to have a drink and unwind most of the time. Sebastian was amazing, smart and funny and supportive, and he was always open to me nerding out about magical realism or fanfiction or whatever other ridiculous English-major stuff had taken my fancy that week, but sometimes I needed to cut loose.
“Sometimes” had gotten a little more frequent lately, that was all. My own graduation stress had started to get to me. I’d been so depressed after Eli—and ugh, I had to stop letting him live rent-free in my head—that I’d missed some classes. And some deadlines.
More than a few.
And every time I missed a deadline, I spiraled into wondering why I fucked everything up, and then wondered why Eli had treated me that way, or maybe if he’d treated me that way because I fucked everything up and deserved it on some level. And I couldn’t spill my guts to Lucas or Sebastian because they were busy with their real lives, lives they weren’t fucking up.
Which led to another night out to try to feel less alone, which led to another morning of missed classes.
Et cetera, ad nauseam.
God, I couldn’t think about it right now.
I headed for the bar. One more to drown thoughts of horrible cheating Eli and my missed classes, and then I’d head home, since I wasn’t spotting anyone I wanted to spend any one-on-one time with. It’d even been a girl who’d bought me my drink, because she liked my Colin Firth “Darcy Does It Better” t-shirt.
I mean, who wouldn’t, right? Except apparently every available gay man in Santa Rafaela.
And after my last vodka tonic, home for some porn in the company of my dependable right hand.
Or maybe two more. Something along those lines. They didn’t pour that heavily here.
A little while later, I staggered off the dance floor, the room spinning a lot more than it had been earlier. The lights had gotten frantic, brighter and…deeper…and it took me a minute to refocus, and someone shouted laughter in my ear, incoherent and startling.
I bumped into a big, solid object, tumbled back, and felt hands on my upper arms. I tipped my head back—way back—and blinked up at a familiar face, handsome and with light brown eyes and messy dark hair on top. Man, why were all the good ones taken?
Anyway, why did Aidan look annoyed? It was Thursday night! Okay, so he had to spend it at work, but his work was an awesome place to be!
“Chris, you okay?” His deep voice carried effortlessly over the chaos, maybe because he’d been bouncing for long enough he’d learned whatever trick it took to be heard in here.
I grinned up at him, my face feeling weird. “I’m great!” His frown deepened. “So great! Like, can you help me get to the bar? I need to…” Did I need to close out my tab? No, not yet. I’d only had…three drinks? Since the other ones. “One more, and then I’m herding—heading home.”
“Your card’s in my pocket and your tab’s closed already,” he said, the words echoing strangely. “I called Lucas, come on, we’re going out the back.”
Oh,shit. “No! He’s stood—studying!” Lucas was going to be so fucking pissed, and I wasn’t even that drunk, okay, wasn’t like I needed to be taken home…
“Yeah, you are that drunk,” Aidan shouted over the sudden burst of even louder music, and I realized I’d been yelling all my thoughts aloud. “Come on, Chris.”
He started towing me through the crowd, arm firmly around my shoulders while I tried to pull away and ended up flailing into people when my limbs went that way but my torso kept going where Aidan moved it. They all had funny looks on their faces.
Fuck, fuck, I was getting hugged in public by Sebastian’s fiancé. Everyone would think I wanted a piece of that. “Iss okay,” I called out to them, “his boyfriend knows I’d never make a move!”
They stared, and some girl was giggling behind her hand, and Aidan tightened his grip and dragged me through the cluster of tables at the other side of the dance floor and down the little hallway past the bathrooms.
