Page 8 of Messy AF
Stupid, of course. I had no business being in his lap. No right to expect anything beyond basic care as it pertained to his job. I knew better than to get attached, or to assume his actions equaled affection.
I didn’t know why I felt so drawn to him, or why I no longer saw him as a stranger. Yes, he had been kind to me, but so had a lot of other people in my life. I didn’t constantly think about kissing them.
For a moment, I let myself consider the idea that I had been alone for too long. Maybe allowing someone, anyone, to get close made me realize how starved I’d been for connection.
A tidy conclusion that fit into a neat little box, but that didn’t make it real.
In truth, I didn’t mind being alone. Although I had been single for over a year, it hadn’t been because I feared intimacy or commitment. I just hadn’t felt the desire for it.
Until now.
Something about Warren called to me, reawakening feelings that had been dormant for a long time, emotions that went beyond mere gratitude. I just didn’t understand why.
On the next upward glide, Warren’s hand stilled on my nape, his thumb tracing idle circles across the skin. “Do you think you could eat something now?”
Swallowing back a sigh, I pushed away all those messy, tangled emotions and lifted my head, meeting his gaze with a smile. “Yeah, and I’ll try not to pass out this time.”
I didn’t know where these feelings had come from, but they were mine to deal with. It wouldn’t be fair to push my wants onto him, and I would never ask him for more than he could give.
“That’s okay.” He pinched the end of my nose and wiggled it playfully. “I’ll just catch you again.”
We both laughed, and something inside me settled at his antics.
For however long it lasted, this was enough.
four
~ Warren ~
Cloudyandvolatile,theskies over Circle City rumbled with the arrival of the forecasted storm, echoing my own turbulent emotions.
Ever since the incident in the kitchen, I had been on edge, hyperaware of every word, every touch. I hadn’t slept at all the previous night, my mind too full of thoughts of Tobi.
I had caught him easily when he’d toppled sideways out of his chair, and I could have simply steadied him, or maybe moved him to the sofa. After seeing how disoriented he had been after other attacks, though, I hadn’t wanted him to wake up alone and scared.
But I hadn’t anticipated how overwhelming it would feel to have him in my arms.
Gods, he had fit so perfectly, and when he’d curled into me, even in sleep, it had completely undone me. Holding him, listening to the steady thrum of his heart, his crisp, sun-drenched scent saturating every cautious breath I took—it had felt right in a way I hadn’t expected.
Then he had woken up, a little shy, a little unsure, but still just as snuggly, and my heart had damn near leapt out of my chest. When an undercurrent of desire had tinged his scent, it had taken everything in me to remain even semi-professional.
Oddly, while I had been holding myself together by a frayed thread ever since, Tobi seemed much less guarded. He smiled more often. He laughed at my stupid jokes. Best of all, he had stopped hiding what he needed and actually asked me for help.
But everything had changed.
Instead of easy companionship, I found myself questioning, worrying.
Did he notice the way my pulse quickened when he stood too close? Had he caught the flash of hunger in my gaze when our eyes met? Did he feel the same magnetic pull I did, the longing for something…more?
“Warren?”
“Hmm?” Shoving those inappropriate thoughts to the back of my mind, I looked up from my seat at the end of the sectional. “What is it?”
Tobi had claimed his favorite spot in the corner, his laptop open in front of him. Work seemed to be going well today, and I had been keeping to myself, careful not to interrupt his focus.
He stared at me over the top of his computer and tilted his head. “You know you don’t have to sit around here all day. I can manage on my own for a couple of hours if there’s somewhere you want to go.”
“It’s only been three days,” I teased. “Are you tired of me already?”
