Page 10 of Lost Boy
I don’t fit in.
I don’t smile.
This isn’t good.
This won’tlast.
“Al! Honey, how are you?” he inquires, kissing his partner on the lips before he even replies. I glance away, giving them their privacy.
Sofia leans into me, whispering conspiratorially. “You’d think they wouldn’t be such fans of PDA at their age, but you’d think wrong.Gag, Dad! Joel!” she shouts, giggling and walking further into the house. She plops down on the leather couch in the living room and switches the TV to Netflix, completely making herself at home.
“Sofie, you know you love me, darling!” Joel shouts back. “Especially when you find out what’s in the oven!”
She squeals on the couch, her curls bouncing right along with her. She has the same brown hair as her brother, with golden highlights woven throughout. The same green eyes and tan skin too.
They’re both objectively very attractive.
“Sweet! Joel’s famous chicken pot pie,” Ryder calls out, passing me and plopping down next to his sister.
“Almost as good as Abuela’s tostadas.”
“It’s true,” Ryder supplies, grinning widely.
He’s extremely handsome. And tall. A lot taller than me. Half a foot. Or more.
These aren’t thoughts I usually have.
I don’tcarewhat people look like.
I’m not interested.
Ever.
“Fal! Come over here! Wanna start a new show with us?”
He’s so friendly and nice. I’m not used to any of this. And now that I know he’sthe son, I feel like maybe I could trust him. But I can’t make a decision like that on day one.
So, for now, I reluctantly trail over to the couch and sit at the far end, away from the siblings, tucking my legs under me and curling into the corner.
I’m wearing comfortable dark gray joggers and a hoodie. Ryder is wearing something similar, except his hoodie is white and his sweats a light gray. A really light gray. An obscenely light gray. If such a thing is even possible.
I dart my eyes away, confused as to why they’re lingeringtherein the first place.
Uncle Joel and Alejandro slip into the kitchen, smiling and laughing at each other, sipping glasses of white wine.
This just can’t last. I don’t fit.
I’ll tear it all apart. Ruin their family. Their happiness.
I zone out, not listening to the sibling’s chatter, even when Ryder tries to nudge my leg with his hand.
I’ve never had any streaming service, so I don’t know what’s on. I have nothing to contribute to the conversation.
After several minutes, the talking and scrolling stops. Some action movie plays, and I close my eyes, giving in to the warm, blissful atmosphere of the house and letting sleep steal me away.
Sometimes I sleep too much, and sometimes I don’t sleep at all. It’s not a good balance. I know this.
Subconsciously, I feel myself burrow my bare feet under the large, warm thigh next to me, but my brain doesn’t fully know what it’s doing. I recognize the feeling of a soft blanket being pulled off the back of the couch and draped over me. I snuggle deeper into the warmth and smell of fresh laundry, curling in on myself but keeping my toes under the body next to me.
