Page 42 of Lost Boy
My feet pound down the wooden stairs of the back deck. The intense emotions flooding my system over this boy cause more adrenaline to shoot through me. My legs move faster, arms pumping wildly.
I need to make sure he’s okay.
I don’t like the thought of him being out here alone. In the wilderness, upset.
I know Fallon bottles things up and compartmentalizes his feelings, to put it mildly. He cuts his emotions off, and I’m worried it’ll become too much when the pressure builds.
Something like tonight is all that was needed to tip him over the edge. And there he goes. Alone and vulnerable and possibly lost. In the woods. Or shit, the lake.
Panic sets in at the thought of him taking a boat alone at night. I head there first, my long legs eating up the distance across the lawn. But my fear is quickly dashed away when I spot a small shadow hunched over at the end of the dock.
Fallon.
CHAPTERTHIRTEEN
FALLON
Ihad to get out of there. I couldn’t sit with all of those eyes on me, like a thousand spiders crawling across my skin. I bolted. I don’t care how it looked; I had to go.
And now, I’m sitting at the end of the dock, staring into the dark oblivion of Acadia Lake. The bright moonlight reflects off the shimmering surface, the stars twinkling around it. The obsidian waters try to lure me into their depths like a sailor lost to a siren’s song. I lean forward, wondering if I can see my reflection in the darkness.
“What are you doing?!” Footsteps pound across the wooden planks behind me, and the sharp voice makes me jump. I start to waver on the very edge of the dock.
Ryder reaches down just in time and grabs me, wrapping his big arms around my torso and hauling me backward against his chest. He sits there with me on his lap, breathing heavily and resting his face in the crook of my neck.
He doesn’t let go.
“What are you doing?” he repeats, calmly this time, but still out of breath.
My heart is racing, pounding against my ribcage angrily, demanding to feel something. But I don’t want to.
“Blue. . .” The anguish in his tone catches me off guard. “Let me in.” Then he presses his mouth to my ear like he did earlier. “Just a little.”
I’m a mess. I’m a wreck. He’ll just leave. Everyone does in one way or another.
The numbness is wearing off, and the regret is heavy. I lean back into Ryder’s hard chest, wiggling the folded letter and my new stash box out of my front pocket.
How can a single letter be so precious, yet so devastating at the same time?
I hold it up, the small white square tormenting me. “Will you keep this? Don’t read it, please. I couldn’t get past the first paragraph,” I admit.
He takes the note from my grasp, our fingers grazing and my breath hitching. “It’s too painful to think about. The memories,” I tell him.
“Of course I’ll hold it for you. And you don’t have to tell me anything, Blue. It’s your birthday. But if it makes you feel better, feel free to unload. I’m here either way.” He snuggles me closer, and I shiver at the contact.
“You cold?” he asks, and I guess I kinda am. It’s not spring yet, and we’re in northern California. It’s definitely chilly.
Without waiting for my response, Ryder shrugs out of his letterman jacket and drapes it over my shoulders, letting it engulf me. He’s a massively tall basketball player, and I’m just me. The kid who likes to dye his hair and write music.
We don’t fit.
“Put your arms through,” his voice is smooth, and my body listens, slipping them into his jacket. I let his lingering body heat seep into my bones and chase the chill away. The smell of his cologne has me turning my head and subtly sniffing at the collar. Bergamot and something spicy. SomethingRyder.
I light up my birthday blunt and try not to worry about my dead dad’s letter burning a hole in Ryder’s pocket. Or my mom who abandoned me. Or the letter ‘C’ embroidered on my chest while I wear the captain of the basketball team’s jacket. Or that we came in our underwear. Together.
I’m not prepared to think about that right now.Any of it.
The smoke flows through my lungs, absorbing the effects of the weed and numbing my mind and body. I relax into Ryder, closing my eyes and basking in the darkness.
