I’d take it all back if I could, but he’s not giving me a chance. My calls are going straight to voicemail and my texts no longer saydelivered.
I'm afraid he blocked me, and it hurts.
It really hurts.
We both said spiteful things, but I wish in my heart of hearts that we could just move on from it. Even if that means we’re back to beingjust friends, and we never mess around again.
Less than an hour later, there’s a quiet knock on my bedroom door before Valentina slowly pushes it open. “Ren? You awake?”she whispers, and I hum my acknowledgement, staying curled up on top of my bed.
“I got you an iced coffee,” she says in a sing-song voice, shaking the plastic cup and taking a big slurp of her own.
“Thanks, sis,” I murmur, rolling over and sitting up in bed. She hands me the coffee, and I take a big gulp, letting the caffeine and sugar work its way through my system and wake me up.
“Talk to me,” Val whispers, so I set my cup on the nightstand, inhaling a big breath of oxygen in preparation for what I’m about to tell her.
Other than Kyle, my sister has always been my best friend, and I know she won’t judge me. So, I start from the beginning, telling her about the sand dunes and everything in between, ending it with my horribly timed confession of love and our epic, life-shattering fight.
“To be honest, babe. I can’t say I’m surprised something happened between you two.”
“Val!This is serious.”
“What?You guys have chemistry, and you know it.”
“Yeah, well, that chemistry just went epically wrong and blew up in our faces. I should have known this would end badly. I’m bi and he’s straight. It’s like rule number one not to fall for your straight best friend, and since I’m new to the LGBTQ lifestyle, I just failed my very first test.Miserably.”
Val sighs, pulling me in for a hug. She keeps me in her arms like she did when we were kids, running her fingers through my long hair. “You’re human, Renny. Of course you’re going to develop feelings when you start to sleep together. It’s only natural. And I don’t believe for one second that Kyle isn’t at home hurting just the same. I’m sorry things went downhill, but I really do think it’s only temporary, babe. You guys have too much history for it to end this way.” She finally releases the hug,gazing at me with a shimmer in her eyes and a soft smile on her lips. “I’m so happy and proud you’ve figured out who you are, Renny. Even if the process left some scars behind. It’ll only make you stronger.”
I appreciate her kind and thoughtful words, but it doesn’t ease the despair boiling my insides. “None of that means shit if I don’t have Kyle, Val. I’m fucking falling apart over here.”
She squeezes my cheeks, wiping the tears away with her thumbs. “These feelings won’t last forever. I promise. I’ve had my heart broken a time or two, trust me. Besides, I’m sure you two will make up, even if it’s just reinstating your friendship.”
“I’m not sure that’s possible,” I mumble, memories of Kyle’s cock stretching me open flashing through my mind.
There’s no fucking way we can ever be “just friends” after something like that.
“Things will get better, Ren. They always do.”
I appreciate the fact that she’s trying to console me, it’s why I called her and asked her to come home, but she can’t predict the future. She can’t stare into a crystal ball and tell me that our friendship will be restored in its entirety, as it was before our road trip.
Before the pact.
Because I’m certain that’s impossible.
“Maybe it’s time you start that blog, Ren,” Val suggests out of the blue, and for some reason my brain gets stuck on the word as if I’ve never heard it before.
“Blog?” I repeat.
“Yes,” she says with an encouraging smile. “Put all that creative talent to use and distract yourself with a project.” Her gray eyes shimmer back at me, and it’s like looking in a mirror sometimes . . .with eyeliner and mascara.
“I don’t know, Val.”
The truth is, it would require a lot of time, effort, and brain power. And after that expensive-ass trip, I’d rather be working in the shop and making money, even if it’s not what I’m passionate about anymore.
Mix in the fact that I’m in charge of renovating an entire apartment, and it’s really no joke.
When I’m off the clock, I’mstillworking.
I just keep telling myself it’ll be worth it when it’s all over, and I have my own little slice of home.