“I’m glad he has you,” I tell him sincerely. “It makes me breathe easier knowing someone cares about him as much as I do.”
“More,” Emilio says harshly. “I wouldneverdo to him what you did.”
“No,” I agree. “We are very different that way, but I need you to understand something.” I twist around so I’m facing him, ignoring how my entire body aches from the movement. “Heis mine now. Much like you are Hollis’s, and Roman is that bastard’s, and Antonio is Jude’s. I will protect him with my life. Die for him, kill for him, be whoever and whatever he needs me to be. Hate me if you want, I don’t care, but be there for him when he needs you, because your friendship means a lot to him. I might not understand, or even feel love the way he does, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there.”
I let a smirk play on my lips, hoping Emilio can see the monster beneath my skin in my expression. Benjamin is mine, and nothing, not even his murderous best friend, will keep him from me—it’d just be a whole lot easier if he accepted it.
“What I feel for Benjamin goes to that deep, dark place inside me that will always be there, no matter how much therapy I sit through. He’s safe with me. I promise on his life, and those of my other lovers.”
Our gazes lock, and while the tension between us still crackles, there’s a bit of an understanding, too. One I hope will carry beyond this room.
“I don’t like it,” he says firmly.
“You don’t have to. All I ask is that you respect him and the choices he makes, much like he does the same for you. No matter how hard it is for him every time you return from Hollis bloodied.”
Emilio is too good at the game to wince at my words, but I can see the softening in his emerald eyes as somethingfinallyfucking clicks in his head. Too bad he’s too unpredictable for me to guess what.
Jayden and Benjamin finish their little conflab and return to us. “You’re both done for the day,” Jayden says. “We’ve made a few adjustments based on what we saw today, and I think it’s going to help you both in the long run.”
“I agree,” Benjamin says. “As long as you both do what you’re told”—he gives Emilio a look—“and don’t overdo it, we will haveyou back to fighting shape in no time. Sharing ideas and getting a baseline for you has been helpful.”
“Agreed,” Jayden chimes in. “I usually prefer working alone, but I could get used to you being around, Benjamin.”
Seeing Benjamin smile at the compliment loosens something inside me, and I reach my hand up for him. He gives me a loving smile and a quick squeeze of my hand before helping Emilio up.
Jayden gets me to my feet and leads me out of the PT room. I hate that I have to lean on him, but I won’t admit the two physical therapists put us through our paces, and a deep-seated ache is settling over my body.
Jayden helps me into bed, and I hate the feeling of exhaustion that rushes over me as he does so. My humanness has never been more apparent than now, and I hate every single bit of it. “I’ll be by tomorrow to check in on you. Take it easy, and take one of these,” Jayden sets a bottle on the table next to the bed, “if your discomfort gets worse. Any lingering or unusual pain, call Doc.”
“I know the drill.”
“Yet you keep getting hurt, so you’ll keep hearing it,” Jayden says cheerfully before leaving.
Sighing, I close my eyes, hoping the exhaustion is stronger than every little ache, because I can ignore the pain easier in sleep. The too narrow bed is almost as uncomfortable as the pain in my side, and it makes me want to kill something. So, despite wanting to stay up long enough for one of my lovers to come in, I give in to what my body is telling me and dry swallow a stupid painkiller.
Getting shot is the worst. Fucking stupid federal agents with guns.
His.
That word pings around in my mind, even as Benjamin carefully walks me toward my bed. The way he carries my weight as I lean heavily into him proves how far he’s come in his training. Thank fuck, because despite my attempts to walk unaided, I whimper and groan as he eases me into the bed.
“We are definitely going to decrease your level of activity.” Benjamin’s lips thin as he hands me some pain medication and water. I quickly take it, grimacing at the simple movement. “And perhaps not put you with Tennant. You pushed yourself. Likely because you were thinking it was some sort of competition. Am I right?”
I try to scowl, but it probably comes off as a pout. “Maybe. It’s frustrating.”
“Yes, I’m sure it is. The fact you’re injured more than Tennant, but can’t magically do better, it makes no sense, huh?” I narrow my eyes at his sarcasm. It’s uncalled for, but I know better than to raise an objection. He’ll just increase his sadism.
“Whatever,” I mutter, barely resisting rolling my eyes. Mainly because I think even that will hurt.
“Speaking of Tennant… You seemed to have quite the conversation while Jayden and I were discussing your treatment plans.”
I shrug one shoulder, only to yelp at the pain. Benjamin smacks the top of my head, growling at me. I think he meant to do it lightly, but fuck. Either he doesn’t know his own strength, or I’m screwed at recovering.
Huffing, I side-eye him before dropping my gaze to the stupid blanket I’m stuck with. There are still too many loose threads and it pisses me off. He’s impatient as he stops my hands from moving, forcing me to drag my attention back to him.
“He called youhis. Said Antonio is Jude’s, Roman is Ignacio’s, and…” I stutter. “He called me Hollis’s. I don’t understand… I’m Master’s.”
Sighing, Benjamin stares at me with pity, shaking his head. “Lio…Ugh. Alright, let’s see if I can explain this. We’ve had this discussion before. You can care—even love—more than one person at a time. For instance, I love both you and Tennant. Tennant loves me, but it isn’t something that takes away from his other relationships. It’s him and I. What we have is ours.