Page 28 of Mister Curb Appeal
Sounds like one of those romcoms you love so much
Noah
Didn’t he cry during The Notebook?
Me
Funny fuckers
Brad
He’s defensive bc that’s a yes
Noah
Stop being a dick and tell us who her client is
Me
My lips are sealed. I just wanted to annoy you
Noah
Mission accomplished
Brad
Just don’t fuck around when it comes to the storm brewing. Looks pretty severe
Just as his text comes through, the porch screen door slams, jerking my attention to the front of the house.Oh no.The damn sliding door wasn’t closed all the way. I glance around and don’t see Mr. Snuggles… He was right here a second ago…
Me
I’ll be fine. Gotta go, I think I just lost her damn cat
“Mr. Snuggles,” I call out. “Here kitty, kitty.” I dart out into the rain without my coat, desperate to catch him before he ends up lunch meat out here in the wilderness. Since I know he’s not a fan of water, I don’t see why he’d want to run out into a goddamn storm.
If I lose this cat, I may as well emigrate to Timbuk-fucking-tu. Lexi would never forgive me.
I run around the cabin. “Mr. Snuggles!” I yell. He’s nowhere to be seen.
Fuck!
And because I’m not looking where I’m going, I trip over a damn stump. Flying forwards, I then slide around in the mud like I’m ice skating before losing my balance completely. My legs give out from underneath me, and with nothing to grab onto, I end up face down, covered in some questionable mud that smells like cow shit.
“Mr. Snuggles! Where the fuck are you?”
When I hoist myself up, I do one more non-victory lap, then come up blank. The cat is gone.
Lexi is gonna flip. I’m a dead man.
I trudge back inside, leaving a trail of mud across the porch. Treats. I’ll grab his favorite treats. A million things run through my mind, but it doesn’t take away from the fact he’s lost outside, getting wet, with a storm brewing. He’s cold, alone and fright?—
Meow.
My head snaps up. In front of me, sitting at the window with a full view of the outside — and witness to my muddy calamity — is Mr. Snuggles. Not outside. Not cold and wet. Not lost.Definitely not covered from head to toe in mud and shit. He’s here on his throne, looking down on a mere peasant like me who smells like manure.
“Did you do that on purpose?” I run both hands through my sopping hair. “Just to pay me back for the shower?”
