Page 169 of Heart of the High King
“Nox needs outside.”
“I suppose I have to take you both.”
“Protect Rafe.”
“Me standing around while you two piss has nothing to do with my security,” Rafe told the pair and ventured out into the hallway. When he got to the great room, it was just his shitty luck that Kendrick was there.
“Hello, Your Highness.”
“It’s Rafe.”
“Right,” Kendrick responded with an unfriendly stare.
Rafe opened the back door and the wolves ran out. Instead of following them, he shut it to deal with his brother. One thing was for sure, he had a horrible track record when it came to relatives. “Go ahead. Say whatever’s on your mind.”
“You know what I keep wondering? If your health was as poor as everyone believes, how were you so easily healed? I think you might’ve played that up. You needed a way to distract Aleksander from the way you left him. How is he going to be mad at you when you’re sick and dying?”
The one thing Rafe had never imagined was that anyone could think he would stoop so low to fake illness and manipulate Aleksander. Was that what everyone thought? Had the sorcerers themselves been surprised to find his case was overstated when he was in their care? Rafe just stood there stupidly as Kendrick took a step closer.
“You’ve been in contact with Jeremiah since you were healed but handing him a project with an unlimited budget without any oversight is a pretty bold statement. Is something going on between you two?”
Turning on his heel, Rafe didn’t think. Escape was a necessity. Only Aleksander wanted him around, and now there might be a rumor spreading that he wasn’t honoring his matebond. It was the final straw for Rafe, and he went straight to his bedroom, where he grabbed his tablet from the nightstand.
There was no reason for him to continue to put himself in the presence of the D’Vaires. Food could be ordered, and he’d move his laptop to the living area of his suite. It was designed essentially as a small apartment, and Rafe was going to avail himself of its amenities. Forget the High King nonsense—that was Aleksander’s title, and he could resume his duties whenever he woke up. Rafe wasn’t going to keep pissing the D’Vaires off by pretending to be something he was not. And if he cried a little about being such a disappointment to Aleksander’s family, that was his business.
∞∞∞
The sun wasn’t down on Saturday night, but Rafe was already in his pajamas. There were no longer sword classes on the weekends, which was the only time he bothered the D’Vaires, and he’d already worked silently with the sentinels and jogged. Once back in his room, he’d showered and gotten comfortable. When the timer he set for the oven dinged, the two wolves went racing to the hot appliance.
“These cookies are for me,” he told them, pulling on the oven mitt he bought and yanking the sheet out. “Hey, I didn’t burn them again.”
“Cookies are yummy.”
“Fine, I’ll share, but they need to cool first.”
“Mortis and Nox sentinels. Can’t feel too hot. Won’t burn.”
“Good for you, I’m barely more than human. You know I torched the top of my mouth the other day. I’m not doing it again and if I have to wait, so do you.”
“Ice cream.”
“Hmm, you’re right. That is good with warm cookies.” Rafe grabbed the spatula and transferred his chocolate chip beauties to a plate and shoved the sheet into the sink. Pulling out a bowl and the ice cream scoop, he dumped some Neapolitan into the wolves’ dishes, then piled a few scoops into his. After allocating cookies, he carried his snack into the bedroom, where he curled up on the bed, next to Aleksander.
“I didn’t fuck it up again, Sander,” Rafe said after taking a gooey, hot bite of his treat. “Remember the last ones? I scorched those but I’m not picky, so nothing went to waste. This cooking thing isn’t easy. I’ve got the hang of heating stuff up though, and you’ll be happy to know, I’ve gained weight in the last week, so I’m doing okay.”
“Yum.”
The two wolves hopped up onto the mattress and tried to nose their way into Rafe’s bowl. “Get the fuck right out of here. Lie down, I gave you plenty. Better yet, you’ve got your own bed in here and an entire room not that far away.”
“Love Rafe.”
“You can sweet-talk me all you want, I’m still not sharing,” Rafe told the pair, who acted like gentlemen and sprawled out on the covers. “You guys are going to have to get over this penchant for sleeping with us when Sander wakes up. I can’t even move right now.”
“We protect you.”
“Nobody’s going to come barging in here. I know those assholes from Court Kestle are still missing, but I don’t think they’re stupid or brave enough to come to D’Vaire. The other dragons are being transferred out as Their Majesties decided to dismantle the entire court.”
“Talk to Aleksander.”
“I was until you jumped up here,” Rafe retorted. His attention went to the comatose dragon next to him. It didn’t matter that Aleksander hadn’t opened his eyes in five weeks, Rafe’s heart still overflowed with love for him. Kendrick’s last conversation drifted into Rafe’s mind. “Your family doesn’t like me, Sander. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m just not that likable. My social skills suck. Or perhaps they’re pissed that I left you. I can’t tell you how sorry I am that I did that to you. I can’t really blame them for their feelings. I was wrong. As much as I love these giant wolves taking up our whole bed, if I had done the right thing and stayed with you, I wouldn’t have needed Mortis. I was selfish as fuck to return to Court Kestle. I can’t undo that decision, but I wish I could.”
Rafe set his half-full bowl on the floor and the two wolves scrambled to eat it. Letting them enjoy his snack, he laid his head on Aleksander’s chest. Drifting his fingers along the planes of Aleksander’s face, it was impossible to hold in his hurt or his tears. “I’m messing up this High King thing. You’re going to have to fix it when you wake up. I don’t even know what’s going on around here. No one wants to talk to me. I’m not sure what I can do to change their minds about me or mend these fences. I need your help. Give me some ideas. I don’t want to make any D’Vaire unhappy but clearly, I am. I’ve had so much time to think. I found out I do like me, and you fell in love with me, so I can’t be all bad. I’ve learned that I’m loyal. Even after the shit way I was treated growing up, I never swayed from Court Kestle. I think that’s important. I like that in a person. I’ve discovered I’m strong and I can persevere. I’m a hard worker. I believe you got a pretty good mate who maybe wasn’t destined to be a High King or at least not one like you. How could I be? There’s only one person who was chosen and that’s you. Elf and Chrys did that. They’re good people, and they like me. I got a raise and a new title this week. I’m now the official archivist for the Office of the Emperor. I told them to split my check with the D’Vaire sanctuaries. I believe in what you guys do here, and I hope I can help someday.”
Rafe’s mouth lifted in a half smile while he rubbed Aleksander’s shoulder. “I’ve been doing so much soul-searching, and I kinda think I deserve a reward. Why don’t you wake up and give me a kiss?”
With a sigh, Rafe got up and tended to the dirty dishes. In the wee hours of the morning when he woke screaming from a night terror, he wept uncontrollably, aching for the man he loved.
