Page 85 of Strap In
‘Oh, how lovely,’ Elizabeth says, ‘that you brought a friend along for moral support.’
With the muscle in Ava’s cheek working overtime, her mouth clamped firmly shut, it’s on Jean alone to rescue this attempt at coming out. ‘Actually, we’re… Ava’s my—’
‘Jean!’ Peter’s hand clamps around her shoulder, and it’s a relief to turn her back on the temptation to start a sentence withfor fuck’s sake. ‘Everyone’s here now, so we should make a start on the speeches. The sooner we do, the sooner they can bring out the cake.’
‘Right.’ Over his shoulder Jean spies Caroline, gaze sullen as she sips champagne on the other side of the room. ‘Thank you. For everything.’
Peter’s smile grows fond. ‘Don’t mention it. And Ava, I’m very glad you could join us here today. Trust me when I say you wouldn’t want to miss this.’
Jean lifts two flutes of champagne from a passing tray and hands one to Ava. The crystal grows slippery against her fingers as Jean approaches the raised platform. And a hush falls over the room as heads turn to track her progress. With every eye upon her, Jean speaks.
‘For the last thirty years, DDH has been the epicentre of my universe. From my first day as an intern, every decision that I’ve made has ultimately been about this firm.’ Jean scans the sea of faces turned up towards her – Hugo and Rhona by the canapé table, Carl watching from the side of the room, Peter gazing at her with unabashed pride. ‘In that time, I’ve had the immense privilege of watching us grow, watching all of you build us into titans of the legal world. And I am so incredibly proud of what we have achieved together.’
Applause blazes through the room. Even now she could wrap up there, return to the original plan. ‘I know that many of you came here today with the expectation that we’d be announcing Peter’s retirement along with my promotion to managing partner. That I would oversee the firm for the foreseeable future. But this last year has made it clear to me that it’s time for new adventures, fresh challenges.’
Murmurs ripple through the crowd. Even from this distance, Jean can make out the frown creasing Rhona’s forehead. ‘This is a significant change in plan. And all of you deserve an explanation. There is not one single reason, but there is a significant one. It’s possible that you may have heard recent rumours on the subject after my… confrontation with Kate Brennan.’
The murmurs rise to a dull hum of chatter. With a shaking hand, Jean lifts the knife lying by the cake and taps it against her glass. ‘I know that I’m giving you a lot to talk about, but this next part is rather difficult, and I’d thank you all to be quiet.’ The room falls silent once more. Ava inches forward to stand at the edge of the platform – ready, as she had promised, to catch Jean in more ways than one.
‘Certain allegations were made against our founder, William Decker. And I regret to inform you that they were true. And just as much, perhaps eve—’ Jean clears her throat, and it helps that all the faces before her blur. ‘Even more so, I regret not speaking up about what happened to us all those years ago when Marianne… Kate did. I was so concerned with my career, my reputation… And now I’d like to find out how life would look if I put those worries down.’
Ava steps forward, pressing a tissue into Jean’s hand. But she doesn’t retreat, staying on the half-step between the platform and the ground. And Jean draws strength from her closeness, enough to blow her nose and keep going.
‘I don’t know what I’m going to do in this next chapter of my life – that’s a shock for me too. It’s the first time in forty years I haven’t had some kind of plan in place.’ A few people laugh. And even Caroline’s glare has softened. ‘But I do know that you’ll be in very capable hands. Peter has been at the forefront of every positive change in the direction and culture of this firm in the time I’ve been here. I’ve been proud to call him a colleague, and I remain proud to call him a friend. And nobody could fill my shoes more ably than Elizabeth Granger – I’m thrilled to welcome her to the DDH family.’
Elizabeth tries and fails to look modest at the applause. And Peter dabs at his cheeks with an immaculate white handkerchief, Caroline stroking his shoulder.
‘And while I’m dropping bombshells left, right, and centre, I would like to thank the woman I love. The woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.’ Their eyes meet, and Ava almost slips from the little step in shock. Jean rests a steadying hand on her shoulder. ‘Ava Harris. Without her support, none of these realisations or decisions would have been possible.’
With a final round of thanks to the team, Jean steps from the platform, shaking like a leaf. Over thunderous applause Ava pulls her close, lips brushing Jean’s ear as she says: ‘I’m so fucking proud of you, Jean.’
She doesn’t let go while Peter and Elizabeth speak, an arm wrapped tight around Jean’s shoulder. And this gentle pressure is enough to slow her heart’s erratic gallop to a steady beat. Even afterwards – through the cake, congratulations and well wishes – Ava stays close, the back of her hand brushing against Jean’s. And she wouldn’t have it any other way.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Even though Jean’s cheeks ache, she can’t stop beaming as she steps out into the cool night air. In the run up to Christmas, London is at its most beautiful, lights sparkling from shop windows and dangling in glittering strings between buildings. She and Ava spend the taxi ride pointing decorations out to each other, breath misting the windows.
Strata is stuffed to the gills, the usual Friday night pre-gaming supplemented by obscenely early Christmas parties, identifiable by festive jumpers and Santa hats and glowing jewellery. Their booth is an oasis of calm, and Jean’s glad she had the foresight to book it.
In typical Ava fashion, she insists on braving the crowded bar. And Jean takes off her coat, humming along to Bing Crosby – a tune her mother always loved.
Sooner than Jean would have imagined possible, Ava returns with a dirty martini, a mojito, and a question. ‘You okay? That was big, what you did there.’
‘Yes.’ Jean strokes Ava’s cheek until the concern melts away. ‘Better than ever.’
‘Good.’ Their feet find each other under the table. ‘So, what did Rhona want to talk about?’
‘She asked to come and work for me.’ Jean sips her martini, tart and cool and delicious. ‘I said yes.’
Ava frowns, concerned. ‘It’s not that Rhona isn’t great, but do you think taking on employees off the bat is a good idea? Do you want me to help you look up grants and stuff?’
‘No.’ Jean laughs, resting a hand on her wrist. ‘I appreciate the offer, but I don’t need grants to afford her or Helen. I don’t technically need to work at all. But this is something I have to do.’
Over shared wings and fries Jean launches into her plans, her goals. The layers of possibility that have been building in her mind, taking shape ever since Kelani’s comment. And with every word it feels more achievable.
The baskets are empty, her stomach full, before Jean realises just how much she’s talking. ‘Sorry. I meant to ask about your day, but I’ve completely monopolised the conversation.’
Ava shakes her head, smile fond. ‘Don’t apologise. It’s nice seeing you like this. Properly excited.’
