Page 30 of Shadows of Air and Earth
So why did I seek out Xi for myself, why did I personally want her, need her, even more so than the air elemental who I knew had already pledged himself to me? I swallowed back the bitterness of my confession.
"I am lonely, and selfishly I need a friend who is just as lonely as I am."
I braced for the stabbing judgment, but this time it was a mere pinprick upon my vulnerable heart.
The anthousai wailed, realizing their plan to keep us would not come to fruition. My stomach somersaulted. We were going to get out of here. There was no other fucking option, I would not allow it.
"If she dies here today, how would you avenge her?"
I pressed my lips into a thin line. "I would finish what she started. I would destroy Fuchai and Xizi for the pain and suffering they inflicted on the little faeling she once was and the future she could have had. Free of scars, pain, and haunted memories." I turned towards the feral nymph, who was watching with murderous eyes, no longer laughing, nor dancing, nor singing, nor humming. "And then I would hunt down every Faerie ring in this world and burn them thoroughly with your greatest weakness—firestone. You will all burn, melting away into nothing under the searing hot fires of the very stone she wields. You will be ash, anthousai, the result of the fae you maliciously stole from the world—from me."
The anthousai hissed back at me. Her yellow eyes swirling with hatred and terror.
I stepped towards her, the judgment force repelling from me, my heart was true. Selfish, and at times harsh but it was pure and it was strong, and it had the capability to love beyond what any creature of this world could handle. I just wasn’t sure if anyone could love it so fully and irrevocably back.
"Give her to me now. Give me Xi Chin. And know this, you frolicking, flower bitch, when it comes to my friends—my heart will always be worthy, it will never waver, and it will always, always avenge." Waving at her dismissively, I added, "Now are you willing to die here today or are you going to give me what I desire?"
Chapter 20
Gasping, I collapsed intothe arms of the shadow fae general who was scrambling back away from the faerie ring, my limp body held tightly against hers.
"It's okay," Remnant breathed heavily. "It's okay Xi, I got you."
Tears brimmed in my eyes, blurring my vision as I trembled in Remnant Dark’s hold. The memories of the anthousai realm leaving a smear of sickening residue upon my soul. The vestiges of what I had done, both monstrous and mortifying.
I sobbed, this time not bothering to hold back those goddess-forsaken tears. A weakness I never cared to expose to anyone but I was so damn tired of being strong butalone.
The shadow fae’s words from the Faerie ring still echoing hollowly in my mind.I need a friend who is just as lonely as I am.
Remnant's arms squeezed harder, dragging us both up to sitting with a heavy sigh. "Shh, it's okay. It'll be okay—one day, I promise. The memories will fade. I promise they will fade." Her hand ran up and down my arm soothingly as she whispered, "But for now, let it out, you’re safe with me, Xi.”
Sniffing, I took a shaky breath, "I heard—" I choked. "I heard what you said in there…"
My head hung, unable to continue, and unable to look into her eyes. Staring at my hands shaking in my lap, I ashamedly recounted the number of times I had been spiteful and condescending towards the General. The scars of my past were so thick they blinded me from the truth. It was clear now, Remnant Ezra Solaire Dark was playing an end game that none of us could see and she was more than worthy of my loyalty and respect.
Especially after she laid her heart and soul bare to be judged…forme.
A gentle hand reached up and pulled my hair back over my face, and I summoned the courage to look up at the general. Frowning, she threaded her fingertips through the tangled strands, eyes focused only on her work, never meeting my shocked gaze. A small satisfied smile spread across her face, smoothing the strands one last time before her emerald eyesmet mine. “There, that is better now.” She sighed, pulling her legs back to scoot away, providing distance between us before speaking again. "I meant what I said in there, Xi. You are a beautiful soul and our world needs more of it but even more, so do I. I do not expect you to feel the same. Trust is a tenuous thing, once broken it scarcely returns without a cost.” Reaching out, she wiped the rest of the tears from my face and I closed my eyes briefly at her gentle touch, "Which means what I have to say next is going to be difficult,” she added, her tone remorseful.
Eyes snapping open, I inhaled sharply, my pulse racing from my already heightened emotions.Riley, where was Riley?"What is it?"
Her brows furrowed and she nodded behind me, the words I feared spilling from her lips. "It's Riley."
Gasping, I pivoted on my knees to see him lying on his side, deathly still with Remnant’s shadows wrapped around him. An exposed area of darkness revealed thick bandages stained with blood, and emitting the putrid smell of decay.
"Ri!" I cried out, scrambling to his side. My hands immediately reached for him only to pause, hovering over his deathly still frame—I did not know if my touch would harm him more. "Sweet goddess," I whispered, seeing the white pallor of his skin and the dark rimmed circles around his closed eyes. Sweat had soaked his hair, plastering it to his brow while the shadows swirled around him slowly. An action that would have caused me alarm two days ago, but now I saw it for what it was.
Tenderness, care, love. They were a reflection of their master.
Remnant crouched on the other side of Riley, drawing my attention back to her, her lips pressed grimly together. "What happened to him?" I barked.
She placed a steady confident hand upon his brow with concern, something I had not been willing to do. Afraid, I wasafraid. "He was injured fighting the anthousai. The thorns in their claws when embedded into their prey are poisonous."
I swallowed hard. Guilt joining my shame. Riley had been injured because of me, my lack of concentration, my emotions got in the way just as my parents had always predicted they would. "Does the poison need to just pass through his system, can he not fight it off himself with natural healing?"
Remnant's hand stroked back his green hair, her lips pursed. "I am afraid not. The poison inside of him is lethal. I have not ever seen a fae survive anthousai thorns without the assistance of a healer." Her eyes met mine expectantly.
The air stilled in my lungs and my heart thudded in my chest—the signs of hope dying just like the fae I loved along with my chances to ever tell him so. My anger at him the past few days prevented me from recognizing the truth, why I had been so hurt by the confessions of his power. I loved Riley, more than just a friend. "I cannot…I can only heal cuts, bruises, small fractured bones," my voice trailed off in a whisper. Brokenly, I added, "My ability to heal others is limited to these trivial things. I have never been able to bring someone back from the brink of death before." Looking down at Riley a strangled sob tore from me. Another round of fresh tears falling down my face, more than I had ever cried my entire immortal life. I could not save him…I was worthless just as my parents had so often told me. This was why they had trained me to not make mistakes and here I was facing the biggest mistake of my life. I practically poured this poison down his throat.
