Page 32 of Shadows of Air and Earth
"Please," I said, shifting closer but respecting her need not to be touched by me. Her eyes never left mine, wariness flashing in that grey whirlwind.
Remnant sighed remorsefully, her hands falling away recognizing that the rigidness of my spine and the lack of the putrid poisonous smell meant I was at my full strength once again. "I'm going to scout the area to find our best route from here.”
Neither Xi nor I acknowledged her and after a moment’s pause she sighed one more time before her footsteps, feather-light, and soon silent, disappeared among the dense foliage.
"You knew." Xi glared at me as soon as Remnant was gone, tears pooling in her eyes, "You knew that I'd rather throw myself on an enemy’s sword than to ever feelownedagain. You know how they treated me. Like an animal to be trained and tethered. You knew!" she screeched.
I flinched, her choice of words that she rather throw herself onan enemy’s sword, unbeknownst to her, was my undoing. Gruesome memories full of bitterness and rage ripped through me and I spat harshly in her face. "Fuck, Xi. Of course I knew! Except it wasn't you watchingmebleed out with the goddess’s light leaving my eyes was it? No. It was fucking me. I was the one that held your throat together shielding you from The Wailing. I was the one that felt your heart go sluggish, and that beautiful air deplete from your lungs.” I shook from my own restrained fury, “I could not do it. I could not let you die, not when I knew I could save you, and I would do it again if that were my only choice."
She lunged for me with a cry, her nails scraping across my skin through the shirt I wore. The sharp pinpricks welcome against the onslaught of emotional turmoil roiling inside us both as she pulled me closer to her, her mouth just inches from mine. "You should have let me die!" she screamed while tears unleashed from her eyes—a fierce storm opening up to drown the world in her despair.
Laughing condescendingly, I snapped, "Just as you let me die moments ago right? You could have been free of me then Xi Lanora Chin. A free fucking pass. With me dead, my possession of you would have ended. So why did you do it?" My chest rose and fell with each passing word, our angry breaths shared, seething through clenched teeth.
"Don't," Xi hissed back, punctuating the words with a push.
I snorted. "Don't what, terrella? Don't tell you that there is never any option in this entire fucking universe where I would sit back and do nothing while you die? Don't tell you that I brokea sacred vow I made to my parents and myself to never use this tainted power? All to save you. Don't tell you that I could not bear the thought of never having you by my side—to never drown in your beauty, crumble to my knees at just your touch, or be awed by your fiery will and insurmountable power? To be honored by your undying, loyal friendship, to lo—"
"Don't," she cut me off, seething just as I was. Her nails leaving thin rivulets of blood trailing down my chest.
I growled inches from her lips, continuing my words even as her eyes begged me not to. "To love till the end of time." Her hands trembled and I reached upwards to slide my own over hers. "I only breathe for you, Xi Lanora Chin. Would you truly deny me the only air I need to live by allowing yourself to die?"
Her anger wavered and understanding flickered within that gorgeous grey, enough that I closed the distance between us, my lips grazing hers. It was her choice, I never wanted it to be otherwise.
Her mouth slammed into mine, and my hands snapped up into her hair, devouring the breath that was rightfully mine, that would always be mine. Possession or not, I loved Xi Chin and it was about goddess damn time she knew exactly where I stood—and it wasn't going to be on the fucking sidelines…not anymore.
Chapter 22
His lips on minefelt like bitter salvation. Riley Dragoon was my freedom and my captivity. One was by choice, the other taken. Anger burned through me for seeking out more of his touch, my hands wrapping up into his hair, my body crawlinginto his lap. Our lips smashed together, both in fury and in need while hot tears still fell traitorously down my face.
Riley said he loved me. But he alsoownedme. I screamed in agony, ripping away and shoving him from me with disgust. At myself, at him. I didn’t even care that it sent him sprawling back onto the jungle floor. Furious, I commanded the stone, snapping it around his arms and legs, spreading him like the phoenix wings tattooed across his body. I hated my hesitation as I looked down upon him with mouthwatering need. Waving my hand, I relished the sound of him grunting while I jerked his body into position, bitterly enjoying his look of shock and fury. That beautiful andalusite color of browns speckled with muted greens. The color of enraged earth—my earth.
Well fucking good. He should know how this feels, to stillwanteven while betrayed, to stillloveeven when deceived.
Both our chests heaved with exertion and pent-up frustration. The weight of the collar around my neck became more obvious with each precious expansion of my lungs—it only served to aggravate me all the goddess damn more. Signaling to the earth beneath Riley, I raised him upright, a sacrifice on an altar and watched as he strained painfully against the restraints.
"I want answers, Dragoon." I forced a step back, keeping myself distant, knowing if I touched him again I would not be able to stop.
His jaw clenched and his eyes glared before a small smile played across his lips, desire mixing with the anger in his eyes. "Then take them from me, Chin."
Narrowing my gaze, I manipulated the stone slab again, stretching his arms higher, smiling back as he winced. "You are clearly not in a position to demand anything, air elemental," I snarled, hooking my fingers under the collar so that his gaze fell on his daming choice—a choice that could very well destroy everything about us.
Riley’s nostrils flared and I did not fail to notice that his eyes lingered heatedly on the metal around my neck. "I gave you the one answer that matters the most. I love you."
"Riley this isn't a game! Love does not imprison, it frees!" I shouted.
He shook his head, his smile saddened, not quite reaching his eyes, the sparkle in them gone. "The next move is yours, Xi Lanora Chin."
"How did you hide the collar?" I snapped, denying him the words he wanted to hear. I never even whispered them inside my mind before today, let alone allowed the truth to be spoken out loud. Love was something that could be fractured, abused…manipulated.Ever since I escaped my parent's cruel prison, I had decided that I would never allow myself to be so vulnerable again and yet here I was.
Riley sighed, twirling his fingertips in the restraint, and I felt his air brush against the side of my cheek wiping away the trail of tears he saw there before gently swiping back my hair like he always did. "There's blood in your hair," he murmured distractedly, staring at the strands, fear flashing in his eyes before looking up at me. "I can enchant the collar so that no one can see it. You saw the collar my uncle uses because he is a demented soul and relishes the power he has over others."
I licked at my lips, I wasn't sure if knowing the collar could be hidden made me feel any better, ignorance and denial were never a good recipe for a future, if there even was one for us now. "And the leash I saw?"
The darkening of his face told me all I needed, but he answered me anyway, his voice low and dark. "He deserves the darkest pits of Sheol for that. I would never fucking leash you, Xi. I never wanted to possess you in the first place, why in the goddess would I do that to you willingly, and why would you ever believe me capable?"
I pursed my lips, I never truly did, but I needed to hear it out loud, said truthfully in the words of the fae. "What is this power called? How does it work exactly?"
More of his air drew around me and I allowed him to pull me closer before I commanded the earth to anchor me to the ground, stopping just inches from him, close enough to feel his warm breath on my face.
