Page 78 of Fight for You
“Heh, sounds like I’m Jordyn’s inspiration.” Enzo wriggled his brows.
“Do that again. I dare you.”
“Jamie,” Jordyn snapped.
“Looks like someone got their marching orders.” Enzo saluted me while folding a blanket neater than any of my brothers ever had.
The glare I cut warned him to keep laughing. One day, he’dblow through the bevy ofright nowshe kept nailing. A woman unwilling to tolerate his nonsense would bring him to heel. And I was here for it.
We were soon seated at the dining room table. As I’d made introductions between Enzo, Mam, and Little Brody, Mam slapped my brother’s hand. “Mind your manners. The chef prays.”
He placed the serving spoon back into the bowl.
I spoke up. “I can?—”
Jordyn stepped on my foot under the table. Leg jittering, she said a quick prayer for breakfast.
Once we started eating, I said, “Mam, I need to ask you something.” Something I didn’t want her running to the kitchen for that food hammer she used or crying.
“What’s this about?” Mam took a bite of food. “Oh, Jordyn. You’ve added a delightful spin to these frittatas.”
“Thank you.” Jordyn blushed.
In between bites, Brody grunted the same, and Enzo offered a chef’s kiss.
Still on the task at hand, I said, “I need you to call Nolan.”
“Jamie, we’ll handle him.” She patted my shoulder, her voice soft—too soft. It was that strange tone she reserved for me when I was six years old instead of over six feet tall.
Oh, c’mon.I stiffened. She was still using a different tone of voice with me than with my brothers. I remembered a time before the abuse. This wasn’t the voice of my mother.
Although my abduction and disappearance later from the clan after Devi’s death caused her intense grief, my mom needed to understand I’d grown. The structure of black-ops missions helped me grow, helped me focus. She needed to see that.
As I stared at Mam, something in her shifted. She held my gaze, and for a moment, I saw it. A flicker in her eyes. Like she knew. Like she remembered all the times she’d talked to me like I was breakable. Contaminated. Something to pity.
Like a placenta.
Aye.That.
A sigh escaped her thin lips, long and weary. “I’m sorry, Jamie.”
The words cracked something open in me, and deeper than that, cracked something true.
A memory from my wrecked childhood.
Who came for ye, Jamie?” Nolan’s voice had gotten slick and raspy. “Not yer mam, yer da. ME. Uncle Nolan loves you. I love you …
I’d believed him.
Ihad.That twisted bastard had sunk his claws in and rewired my grief into loyalty. Made himself the savior of my story. And I’d let him. Let the lie burrow into my soul and poison the love I had for my clan.
Leith had been right. Jordyn too. I hadn’t just distanced myself. I turned my back on them. Hated them in my heart because of the King of Mind Games.
No point in pointing fingers now. I’d played my part. Let the lies take root. Grow. So, I owned it. “Mam, I’m sorry too,” I replied, voice rough. “For disappearing. For what happened in Da’s study. For—” My hand raked through my hair, trying to tame the mess that clanged inside. “I’ve gotta a lot to apologize for.”
She smiled. Soft. Real. The pressure lifted from her shoulders as if she’d finally allowed herself to forgive—not just me, but herself too.
“You were a Marine Raider, I was told?” she gently asked, pride glimmering in her eyes.
