Page 69 of Fighting Gravity
He dropped a knee to my chest and transferred his full weight on me, making it hard to breathe. I slapped and clawed at him but to no avail. Why? Because scratching and clawing didn’t work and I knew that all too well. It was inexperienced and foolish, but a bad habit nonetheless.
“Get up, Liu,” he demanded.
Remember my training. That was all I had to do. I flung my leg up, hooking it around his neck and slamming him down to the ground and into a chokehold. Screaming, I bent his arm back over my leg and pulled before catching myself. I wanted to break his arm, but Raul wasn’t my enemy. My mind was my enemy and all the loud memories that littered it.
I’d made a lot of bad decisions in my life. The thing about bad decisions is that no matter how many times you think you’ve fixed them, they always haunt you.
When I finally let Raul free, the two of us scooted into sitting positions beside each other, catching our breath. I unraveled the fabric wrappings from my hands and perched my elbows on my knees, dabbing at my sweaty chest with the thin hand wraps. For a while, we were just silent. He knew better than to try and spark up a friendly conversation when I was in one of my moods. So, if I wanted advice on something, I had to initiate the discussion.
“The Nexus accepted my application,” I said.
Raul swung his eyes toward me. “That’s what you wanted, right?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I’ve always dreamed of piloting among the stars.” I glimpsed the ceiling of our gym like I could see through it into the night sky. “And no one can follow me up there.”
“Maybe not physically,” he sighed. “You still need to make yourself inaccessible mentally. So, when do you leave?”
“They want me to graduate from the academy first, so I have a few months.”
Joseph sighed, nodding his head in thought. “Then we have a few months to keep training.”
“Goddamit!” I bellowed, kicking the seat behind me.
Afraid I’d undo all my work if I stayed inside the shuttle when I was having a tantrum, I stepped out and started beating on the outside of the ship. I kicked and punched and screamed, eventually picking up a metal rod and slamming it against the outer wall. The sound was loud and rang through the cargo bay. Furious, I threw the rod across the room and scrubbed my dirty hands through my sweat-crusted hair. When the door to the cargo bay slid open, I bristled because Rhone wasjustwhat I needed to cheer up.
It seemed like he’d been gone for days. But, as always, time was so impossible to tell.
I glared daggers at him when he entered and stood at the top of the ramp. The mere sight of him set my blood on fire and I felt my rage multiplying. My fists ached to hit something and his face was a pretty big target. As he walked down the ramp toward me, I feared I would actually go through with it.
Rhone didn’t look fazed by the fact that I’d been working on the shuttle or the fact that I was moving toward him like a territorial lion.
“Welcome back,” I said. “Enjoy your vacation?”
“This was not a vacation.”
He paused for a blink when he caught sight of the bruising along my jaw and cheekbone. Time had only made it look worse than it really was. His lip twitched, but otherwise, he said nothing.
I was shaking. I wanted to put my fist through something so badly and even Raul’s words and teachings in my head couldn’t stop me. I was so sick of being trapped. So sick of being confused. So fucking sick of holding it together while people around me cuffed and chained me, both figuratively and literally.
“Whatever you want to call it,” I said through my teeth. “Maybe you could do me a favor and leave me alone.”
“You don’t give orders here.”
I turned around to walk away, doing my best to rein it in. “So you keep reminding me.”
“And yet you continue to think you’re in charge.”
Picking up a rag, I started wiping my fingers, doing anything to keep my hands occupied.
“Oh, I’m not in charge. I’m not in charge of anything,” I said under my breath. “I’m just a prisoner. If not here, then somewhere else, right? But here’s a little perspective for you. Some of your people might look at you like a god, but to me, you’re the devil.”
“You’re talking nonsense about things you don’t understand.”
“So those two assholes at the embassy. Do they think you’re a god? Because they seemed pretty eager to disrespect you.”
“The port has fallen under Oskarian control. A fact I was unaware of before we docked.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
