Page 75 of The Devil In Blue
“She would.Ifshe chooses it.”
That seemed to make Elanor happy. She had cared for Briar before. Everyone at Ferrothorn did. I just wished Briar knew that. I could have made it clearer for her if I wasn’t so fooled by such a stupid trick. Such a stupid lie.
“Don’t,” Elanor said, placing her hand against my shoulder. “I can see you thinking about it. Humans are fools. It was easy for you to think she left you for the wonders of the mortal world. They’re such treacherous things, humans. Anyone would have seen that letter and thought as you did.”
“No,” I shook my head. “I should not have been anyone. I should have been better. I was her protector and I did anything but protect her.”
“It wasn’t—”
“Leave me. I must rest. Soon, I’ll have a real talk with Briar.”
With that, Elanor set the deed on my desk and stepped away. While I was without Briar, she had barely left my side. Between our combined efforts to find her and her attempts to calm me at my lowest of times, she’d even slept in my bed. That nearness had become a habit… for both of us.
But I needed my space, no matter how much it might hurt her to give it.
I had changed into a black, silk nightgown and a blue robe after dinner with Rune. I wasn’t tired, though. I’d gotten plenty of sleep and my mind was tied up in the way I felt when I was dancing with him. The skin on my neck still tingled where his lips had touched me and as I sat on the balcony staring over the courtyard, I toyed with my new necklace.
It was a morbid comfort to know I was wearing Lucien’s tooth and ring, both of which had been taken from his corpse if the king had been honest with me.
He killed for me. Violently. Something about it set a fire in my core and I didn’t care if I was messed up for feeling it. I’d been treated like I was crazy since I could remember by people who taught me to respect them. Love them. Obey them. Bile rose in my throat, but mostly because I hated myself for folding under their manipulations. I’d imagined my perfect past to replace the one I’d forgotten and I had always hoped I was strong before they broke me.
It was apparent that I wasn’t. I was as weak as they came and I’d bent to each and every demand.
I thought back on all the uncomfortable dresses, rules, and limitations Lucien forced on me and ground my teeth.
I regretted that I didn’t see Rune kill him… which confused me. I thought I loved Lucien, but I felt nothing but hate now like something in me had been waiting for me to finally catch on.
Stupid girl.
During my time alone in my room, I found myself worrying about Rune. If the kelpher was capable of hurting him, what could a gripson do? Of course, without me there to be a distraction, I wondered if it was even a contest. The way he had moved and swung his sword before was evidence enough that he could take care of himself. And though I didn’t know what a gripson was, I wanted to think he could best one or more with ease.
But I still found myself worrying.
It was a strange feeling. Worry. I wasn’t used to it. I wasn’t sure I liked it. Then again, wanting someone was new, too. And that part I was beginning to enjoy.
“Stop this, Briar,” I whispered to myself.
Unable to sleep, I closed my robe and tied it off at the waist, heading for my bedroom door. It was unlocked and that made me feel a bit more at ease. I looked around first before leaving, searching for Elanor, but I saw no sign of her so I headed barefoot through the palace to the library. That place felt more like home than anything else did and I needed its calming atmosphere. I needed a book to distract me and fill my head with fantastical things.
The very first book I grabbed had a stunning red cover, but I didn’t bother to read the title. I flipped it open to find sketches and anthologies about knights and monsters. It would do.
I curled onto the sofa, book in hand, and tried to lose myself in the stories, but to no avail. Every five sentences, I thought of Rune and every ten sentences, I found myself toying with my necklace again. Frustration coiled its sticky fingers around my thoughts and I was feeling even more restless than before.
I needed a book with more excitement. Something that could truly distract me.
Standing, I walked to the shelf and placed the anthology book back before skimming other titles. A blue book with gold trim caught my eye and I reached up toward it. My fingertips barely touched the bottom of the leather spine. I huffed with effort, standing on my toes to try and nudge the book from its space. I nearly had a grip on it when a hand swooped over me and slid it off the shelf with ease.
I spun around with a start, biting my tongue to suppress a squeak. Petris was standing so close to me that I had to press my back against the shelf to keep from touching him. He brought the book down slowly and handed it to me.
He was wearing coffee-brown leather pants, boots, and a cream-colored shirt that fit his figure loosely and was lazily tucked into his belt. It was late and his attire told me he was ready to turn in, but somehow, he found his way to the library.
I slowly took the book from him, finding my composure.
“Thank you,” I said.
I took a deep breath to calm the stutter in my heart, catching a whiff of cedar and roses. I paused a moment, glancing down at the book in my hands.
So he and the king smelled the same, too. I wasn’t surprised.
