Page 32 of The Withering Dawn
I turned to him, wiping my thoughts clean so nothing would show through my expression. He narrowed his eyes at that like he saw through my efforts.
“I know that look,” he said. “It’s the same look we all get when we’re thinking too much.”
I shrugged. “I just enjoyed what you said. I think the Amanacer is a beautiful name.”
“Right.”
We sat in silence again. The fact that he was lingering made me wonder if Nazario had asked him to do more than just feed me. Perhaps it put the others at ease if someone was close at all times. I didn’t mind. Cathal didn’t seem the cruel type. He seemed like hecould be if he had to be, but he wasn’t there to hurt me. I could tell that much. In fact, his presence was oddly comforting.
“This man Nazario is after,” I said. “What did he do?”
He chuckled, but not a trace of amusement was in the sound. “Antonio is a man with very specific tastes. Unfortunately for us, when he came to Luvega, he had many orphans to indulge those tastes. He adopted seven of us boys. We lived in his great big mansion. We ate well. And every night, one of us would be called to his room.”
He stopped for a moment, taking a few deep breaths. I could see him picking at his nails. By the looks of it, he did it often. Each finger was calloused and his nail beds had scabbed over on a few fingers. I had thought it was from hard work before. Now, I was questioning if that was all it was.
“By the time it had happened to all of us,” he continued. “No one was talkin’ about it. It was the first time we’d all eaten full meals and had clean clothes. But two of the older boys were not so easily swayed by those comforts. Rostya and Leonardo were the first to stand up to Antonio when he brought in the youngest of us. Oliver. A mere six years old,” he said, wincing bitterly at his words. “Antonio punished them, he did. And then he locked them away.” He glanced up at Nazario at the helm. “And him being Leonardo’s younger brother, he started to make an example of him just to hurt Leo. Cap’n became his favorite. He had him come to his room every time he got back from a long day out. Smelled like sweat and wine, he did. Never washed first.”
My stomach turned at the thought. I stared up at Nazario, unable to envision him as a small boy under the abusive hand of a sick man. As a grown man, he was big. Strong. He held himself proudly, lit up by the fiery hues of sunset sailing a giant ship with more confidence than any man I’d seen at any helm.
“Aye, I see it,” Cathal said, the corner of his mouth curling up. “You’ve taken a liking to him, haven’t ye?”
I turned my eyes downward, taking another bite of bread, but I could feel a strange heat light up my cheeks. Rather than push the subject, Cathal just chuckled again.
“I don’t blame ye. Ladies turn his way at every port. He looks like his brother, he does. If tall, dark, and ruggedly handsome is your type, I suppose he’s alright, but maybe it’s best ye don’t dream of getting in bed with him. Let’s just say that we usually have to pay double to the whores he visits. He’s not known for his gentle hand.”
I coughed, suddenly forgetting how to swallow, and Cathal gave me a rather rough pat on my back and laughed again. I wasn’t used to men touching me so casually. If they put their hands on me, it was usually with nefarious intent. I stiffened at the contact.
Unsure what to say, I closed my eyes, upset with myself for being poor company because Cathal was doing everything he could to be friendly.
“Yer not unfamiliar with cruel attentions,” he said with a hollow grin. “You’re more like us than I thought. Welcome to the Amanacer.”
I cleared my throat, regaining my composure. “If I am allowed to ask, what happened to Leo and Rostya?”
He let out a ragged sigh. “They escaped. We all thought they abandoned us. Antonio sent people after them, claiming they’d robbed him. Then, two days later, Leo came back, killed two of the house staff, and led us to the docks where he and Rostya had gotten us passage on a ship owned by a man named Denham Wahl. He was lookin’ for deck hands, ye see. But,” he sighed. “Antonio chased us down. We was on the boat goin’ to the ship and he fired on us. We all got down low, but Leo kept rowing. Wasn’t till we got to the ship that anyone noticed he’d been hit. He died on this deck.”
I looked around, realizing we were on the very ship he was talking about and a shallow fissure opened in my heart.
“It was this ship?”
He nodded. “It was called the Maidstone before. He was an old man, the last cap’n. Indulged in a lot of drink. Died six years ago in his favorite brothel, under his favorite whore,” he laughed. “And whenNazario took over, half the old crew left and the other half stayed. And we got more men. We do what we want. We sail and we steal and we take what we like and that is how it’s been. But eight months ago, we raided a ship flying Antonio’s flag and the four of us decided we were not going to let the man wander free anymore. He’s been haunting us for too long. Only thing is, we never got another clue as to where he was until you and that damned ship.”
I felt angry for the men. For Nazario and the brother he’d lost. For Oliver, even, now that I knew how long they’d all been together.
“What happened to Rostya?” I asked.
“Hm?”
“Rostya. The other boy.”
“Oh,” he sighed, pushing his hair back from his face. “Hung himself in a port not long after we left Luvega. He and Leo, see, they were much more than friends. He didn’t see much value in living after we lost him.”
A heavy feeling swelled in my chest at the thought. I’d never loved anyone that way. Just imagining the pain made me want to weep. I shook off the unpleasant feeling and ate the rest of my bread, trying not to let myself get consumed by the weighty emotions. Emotions that weren’t even mine.
“And the others? The other boys, I mean.”
“That would be Nazario, Aleksi, myself, and Nikolas. But don’t bother trying to talk to Nik. Some sick fuck had his tongue cut out before even Antonio got his hands on him. You two have that in common, though his tongue never grew back. He was only with us for a few weeks before we got out. Came from a fucked family in the first place, he did. But no one in Luvega is living in paradise.” He paused for a moment, staring at the darkening horizon, and then looked at me like he was examining text written in a foreign language. “The island ye came from. Were they like that? Did they… ye know… do things with ye?”
I shook my head. “Not like that. They thought I was unclean. Made me memorize texts and prayers so I could recite them every dayand repent for what I am. Although, I have never truly known what I am or what it was I was asking forgiveness for. Sometimes, if a man would admit to impure thoughts about me, they would punish me and the others would watch. All for my own good.”
