Page 12 of Pills and Potions: Snoh
Bitch, shut the fuck up already!
“Why?”
“Because you’re the only man I yearn for. It takes everything in me not to cross that line with you.”
Jesus Christ hold my tongue or something ‘cause what the hell!
“Since when?” He had twenty-one questions and was firing them off back to back.
My thoughts weren’t my own right now. I felt like a puppet whose strings were being pulled. I couldn’t fight back and every time he inquired about my feelings toward him, I responded truthfully instead of with the many lies I’d been telling since I stepped into London’s shoes. The upsetting thing about it was I didn’t know how to stop it.
I was too wrapped up in the enjoyment of being in his embrace to move. Paralyzed and transparent. This had to be the effects of whatever he poured in our drinks. I tried pushing my way out of his arms and his grip tightened. He was greedy when it came to London. I picked up on that a long time ago.
“What I just tell you?”
“Ain’t no running tonight,” I repeated verbatim.
“Understand it then and answer me. Since when?”
“The first day I saw you. You haven’t left my thoughts once. I crave you in a way that’s physically painful at times. You’re the one person I can’t love out loud. It’s tormenting, Snoh.”
“Hmph,” was all he gave me.
My confession just kept getting deeper and deeper. I was digging my own grave at this point. We stood in the middle of the restaurant not moving a muscle. Since this was twenty-one questions, I figured I’d throw a few of mine in as well.
“Why am I allowed so much access to you?”
“A nigga soul is at peace when you around. From the time you swayed them thick ass hips through my office, I been locked in. Everything you do make my fuckin’ dick hard and when you at my crib, restraint is the hardest. Nevertheless, I enjoy watching you prance through my shit like it’s yours.”
I gulped off his response. My thoughts began to run ragged and now it was me showing restraint. “Why is it a need to know what I’m wearing every day?”
“It’s my way of claiming you when muthafuckas see us together. I need them to understand ain’t no me without you.”
“And when you buy me things?”
“I can’t show my love for you physically, so I chose the material way. Anything else you need to know?” He had no problem admitting his truth. That shit was igniting a fire within.
“Humor me. If I had a twin, would you still choose me?”
It made him chuckle, but it was a real question I needed a real answer to. This was for me and me alone. I didn’t give a fuck about anything else. I had a week to steal as much of his time as I could. If I could get more after London’s return, I wanted to hear him say it.
“Answer me, Snoh.”
“I would.”
The host walked back over before I could ask anything further with concern etched across her face. I guess she was still worried from the things we witnessed earlier. Then again, we were the only ones standing, drawing in the room’s attention.
“Is everything alright? Do I need to call someone?” she asked giving me a onceover.
“No, we were just leaving. Thank you.” I grabbed his hand and damn near dragged him out the restaurant.
Once we were outside, I was snatched back, running smack dead into his chest. Snoh towered over me and that was something I loved. Looking up to him was more pleasing than one would think. Cuffing the left side of my face, he stroked my cheek gently with his thumb. We locked eyes and I felt myself slipping.
“Snoh,” I whispered.
“Yes, beautiful.”
It was hard to form words. His name was the only thing effortlessly rolling off my tongue. The things I wanted to say to him would complicate things even more. I already let him pull confessions out of me that I wanted to stay hidden. Instead of volunteering information, I remained quiet. If he didn’t ask, I didn’t have to tell.
