Page 22 of Be With Me
Chapter 11
Debbie was curled up in a chair on her mom’s back porch with a cup of hot chocolate. This was her favorite place to spend quiet time when visiting home. Her father had enclosed the porch for her mother when she was pregnant with Debbie. He’d made little handrails for her to lean on when learning to walk; there were little cubbies for her to put her stuffed animals and dolls. She remembered him helping her put her toys away in them; he made it like it was she was keeping a secret from someone when he was just making her clean up her mess. Debbie so hoped when she was a mother she was as good as her mother with the imagination that her father had with her. She didn’t miss him every day but sometimes it hit her that it had been years since he died. You would think that after ten plus years the ache wouldn’t be there but it was back with a vengeance these days.
She’d been home for the past three weeks, enjoying Christmas and New Years with family. Her mother had made her cry with her gift this year. She’d given Debbie her grandmother’s ceramic Christmas tree, telling her that she’d been saving it for when Debbie would have her own home to put it up in. Debbie wasn’t sure why her mother picked this year to give it to her and when she’d asked her mom had just smiled at her.
“What’s going on in that brain of yours, cupcake?” her uncle Buddy asked as he came out on the porch and sat down on the couch next to her. They sat there for a few minutes, just watching the breeze blow through the barren trees in the yard.
“Just thinking about where I’m going to work after graduation.” Debbie hoped to sidestep the real path of her thoughts.
“Try again, cupcake. I’ve known you your whole life and I’d like to think that I’ve stepped up in Hank’s absence to guide you as he would have. Now, want to tell me what’s really got you twisted up?”
Debbie uncurled from the chair, placed her mug on the table and walked over to the settee he was sitting on. She sat, dropped her head on his shoulder and sighed. He wrapped one arm around her and just held her.
“How do you know when you’re ready for a relationship? How do you know if they’re the one for you forever?” she finally asked.
“Oh let’s discuss something easier, maybe international politics?” Buddy joked. “I know that I was protective and concerned when Rafe came to help you move with his friends but watching you over the past few months? You’ve glowed. I don’t know that it’s something you can quantify. It’s a deep feeling that settles in your heart and you know. The soldier?”
Debbie nodded, trying to make her uncle’s answer make logical sense. Especially after studying medicine, everything had symptoms, signs, measurements.
“But how do I know?” she insisted.
“Awww, cupcake. Do you think about him all the time? Have something happen and want to tell him? Dream about him? Reach for your phone to text him little notes?” Debbie nodded at each of his questions. She had Luny in the back— if not the front— of her mind, every minute of the day. “So what’s the real issue? From what I’ve heard from you and witnessed myself, that soldier would do anything for you. Is it that you’d have to move?”
Debbie jumped up and started pacing in the small space. Did she make the right decision in letting things develop? Did she want to move around all the time? Not have a permanent home for years and years? Give up her career path? She’d paused every few steps and look at her uncle before pacing again. After a few minutes, he grabbed her arm as she passed and pulled her to a stop.
“Debra Florence?” he said leadingly.
“Am I really cut out to be a military wife? Can I handle him leaving for months? Moving all over the world? Not being with family on holidays? What if he dies on me?” Debbie almost whispered the last question.
“Sunshine,” her mother said from the doorway. Mom walked up and wrapped her in a hug. The fragrance her mom had worn forever wafted over Debbie, reminding her of everything good. She remembered her mother spritzing it on Debbie’s wrists for special occasions as she grew up. Told her that whenever she needed to know she was loved to put her wrist near her nose and know that she was there for her. Debbie remembered sneaking into her parents’ room the day of her father’s funeral and spraying the perfume on her shoulders so she didn’t have to hold her hand up during the service.
“Mom, let me get you something to drink,” Debbie offered, moving toward the door.
“Debra?” Her mother used the universal tone that every mother used when they knew their child wasn’t telling them everything.
“I’ll leave this to you, Marion.” Uncle Buddy shifted off the couch to stand.
“Oh no you don’t, Buddy. Sit right back down. You’ve been through all the ups and downs with me since Hank passed. You’re not ducking out on me this time.” Mom pointed a finger at Uncle Buddy and he plopped right back down. “Debra?” she repeated as she sat next to her brother in law.
Debbie looked at the two of them sitting there. How did she get so lucky to have this kind of support? She moved to ‘her’ chair and sat down. “I know I’ve told you about Luny… umm, Rafe?”
“You’ve got a nickname for him?” her uncle teased.
She frowned at him then looked away and continued, completely ignoring his question. “I think— no, I know that we could be heading into serious and am I ready for that? I’m about to graduate and be an adult. Have to do adult things like have a full-time job and pay bills and find an apartment and fall in love.” Debbie stopped talking when her mother and uncle looked at each other and started laughing like loons.What the hell?“Excuse me for trying to be serious here.”
“Debbie, you’ve always been responsible and way more adult-like than a lot of the adults. It’s always been fun watching you when things went sideways and you weren’t controlling everything in your world. Those little shake-ups weren’t always the easiest to deal with but you’d sit back, think and then attack. Think about the past two years, living with Stacy. You’ve been an adult. You’ve paid bills. You’ve found apartments and it sounds like you’ve fallen in love,” her mother said patiently.
Debbie chewed on her bottom lip and thought about what her mother said. “But what if he dies?”
Her mother reached over and held her hand. “You grieve. You remember the good moments. You honor them by not giving up on life and living it to the fullest.”
§ § §
Mooney was biding his time. He only had about thirty minutes left on shift then he was going to meet Kevin and Mackey for wings and darts. He didn’t really care about throwing but Kevin was all about it.
The phone on his desk rang. “Sonofabitch.” He reached for the handle and sighed before speaking. “Bravo Company, Staff Sergeant Luna.”
“Mooney, how’s things?” Eric’s voice came over the line. “So professional.”
