Page 4 of Voices in the Stars
A gasp left me. My body froze as all talking stopped. My nails dug into the side of my face as I pressed harder against my mouth, clenching my eyes shut as I waited for one of them to come upstairs.
I knew not accepting this engagement had crushed many of my mother’s hopes. Never did I think it went beyond that. My mind replayed every sideways glance she gave me and any time her voice was raised at me. The fact that the walls were covered in paintings of the three of them going back to when Josi was a small baby. It was only recently that I had been forced to sit for newer paintings. There was nothing that was mine from childhood. No knitted blanket like Josi had. There were no paintings of our mother cradling me as a baby.
None of it had been great in the moment, but now, knowing my own mother didn’t think I belonged here, it felt like someone rammed a dagger into my chest.
Two sets of receding footsteps had my shoulders relaxing as my hand dropped from my face. My head shifted to the side as I stared down the hall I came from. The thought of hiding this day away was so tempting. It would just end with my mother stomping through the house, screaming at me, which was the last thing I wanted.
My shoulders squared as I turned back toward the stairs, focusing on keeping my breathing steady as I made my way downstairs. Each step squeaked underneath me. Everything would be okay for now. At least there was a limit on how poorly she would treat me in front of Adrian’s family.
The morning fog had lifted.A chill lingered even with the sun shining above us. At least I was wrong about something today. The last thing I wanted to deal with while surrounded by all these people was the unbearable heat. Hands waved around me in animated conversations while laughter rang out above the music being played. Dresses flowed in flashes of colors as women swayed and spun.
My gaze caught onto one of the girls dancing. Her giggles were shrill and easy to hear over the stringed instruments. Her dance partner openly grimaced every time her mouth opened. It made me grind my teeth. It was impossible for her to be that oblivious. There was no reason for her to deal with him. No, instead she kept up a happy mask as she was ignored.
As they slowed down, she reached a hand toward the other men standing around. Their lips twisted with smiles and laughs as they watched her. One nudged another man’s shoulder who quickly shook his head, stepping away from her.
I sipped on the fizzy champagne I had grabbed earlier. Round tables filled half of the area across from me. A few of the older guests sat at them. Women fanned themselves from the nonexistent heat while their judging gazes passed over everyone nearby. They leaned into each other, their eyes piercing as they whispered and laughed together. Several times that gaze was focused on me. My skin crawled as it felt like they were seeing every secret I had. With a shiver, I pulled my attention away from them before I lost what little nerve I had.
Silver trays filled with food and drinks bobbed through the crowds as hands snatched up everything that was being offered. The servers were ignored as the guests smacked on their food, mouths full as their heads were thrown back in laughter. One man took a step backward, cutting one of the servers off. They tried to stop, but the food went sliding, spilling over the man’s suit. His lips twisted into a snarl as he yelled at them. Their head bowed as they accepted the verbal lashing. My grip on my glass tightened.
“Sandwich, ma’am?” One of the servers stopped in front of me.
I thanked the man, grabbing a small sandwich that he presented to me.
“You look lovely today,” he commented as he moved beside me, using me to hide from the crowd.
I choked on a laugh that threatened to come out. The smirk on his face as he refused to look at me told me all I needed to know. My first impression of this dress was right. If anything, it wasn’t harsh enough. I looked like an ivy bush had a baby with a hydrangea.
“Thank you, Oliver,” I said to him instead. “How’s your wife?”
Oliver was one I tried to talk to as often as I could. He wasn’t constantly around like Marie. He was only here for the parties. Somewhere in town, he had a small house filled with many children and a wife. Speaking with him now, I could feel the stares burning into us.Adrian’s fiancée is wasting time talking to the help rather than his family or any of the other strangers here? How scandalous.My eyes rolled just at the thought. There were few people here who would acknowledge anyone serving them. Unless it was to bark orders. One moment. All I needed was a single moment with some of these people, and they would never want to talk to someone like that again. I settled for a long drink instead.
The burning of the alcohol was a wonderful distraction. Still, I rubbed the scar on my chest, hoping to ease the hot feeling thrumming underneath it. Oliver glanced over at me, his smile faltering for a moment.
“I hope you had a nice morning,” he said instead.
I smiled into my glass as I took another sip. The way he was unfazed by everyone else helped dissolve the rest of my anger. There was nothingI could do about any of their situations right now, anyways, besides letting them know they at least had a friend in me.
“Oh yes,” I answered.
“Try to leave some for the others next time,” he whispered before bowing and turning away.
He moved through the rest of the guests with a smile plastered on his face. No one paid him any attention. The closest he got was when someone blindly reached out to grab a sandwich. In moments, he vanished in the crowds. The occasional glint of the silver tray was the only sign that he was still out there. Gazes snapped away from me as I looked over the crowds.
A shiver ran down my spine as the hairs on the back of my neck stood at attention. No one was looking at me, yet it felt like thousands of eyes were piercing my skin. I wrapped my free arm around my middle, trying to ease my quaking. It felt like the sunny morning was replaced with the dead of winter as ice chilled me. Every instinct screamed to run. My knees ached with the need to move as I was again struck by the odd feeling that there was somewhere else I had to be.
I turned, glancing at the few people who mingled by the hedges behind me. My gaze snapped on a little boy who was standing among them. He was wearing a pressed, blue suit that looked too nice for a child to wear. Something that would get stained with one wrong move. It hung loose around his shoulders, and the sleeves covered his hands. It must’ve belonged to an older sibling at one point. The way it fit him was similar to the way some of Josi’s clothing fit me. The sun reflected on his greasy, slicked back hair. I tried to conceal my grimace. I would be trying to hide, as well, if that’s how I was dressed. I glanced down at my clothing. Maybe I should’ve been over there with him. I’d blend in perfectly.
As I looked back at him, his head tilted as he stared back. A too large smile stretched out on his childish face. His lips turned white as they were pulled thin. My heart leapt as he lunged at me.
A tight grip on my shoulder stopped my flinch. I was spun around, my mind already racing with excuses as to why I was trying to leave. My mind immediately recognized the manicured nails that were digging into my wrist. My shoulders sagged as I came face to face with my mother.
Her dark hair was streaked with silver that shone in the light. It was tied in a tight knot that rested on top of her head. For once, her face wasn’t pulled into a permanent smile. Instead, her scowl was deeply etched into her features. Even her painted face wasn’t enough to hide the many layers of anger and disappointment.
“Where are you going?” she hissed, letting go of my wrist.
I ran my hands down my dress, resisting the itch to tug at any loose strands I might find.
“I was trying to mingle.” I shrugged toward the people who were still talking near the hedges.
