Page 36 of Gods of Prey
“Instead, you’re...” She searches for words. “You’re kind. Patient. Even when I’m being difficult, you don’t lose your temper the way I do. You actually listen.” Her eyes fall to the floor. “You recognize the toll this takes on me.”
“You’re not what I expected either,” I admit, shoving down the ridiculous feeling of talking to myself. I need to get this out. “I thought you’d be cruel and heartless, just as you’ve always been. The Goddess of Death should be terrifying.”
“I can be,” she says defensively.
“But you’re not. Not really.” I reach up, covering her hand with mine. “You care deeply about everything. Your brother, that mortal girl, even me—though you’d never admit it.”
“I don’t—” she starts to protest, but I silence her with a look.
“In here, in this dream, you don’t have to pretend.” I shift closer, our faces now inches apart. “You don’t have to be the composed goddess hiding your wounds. You can just be Sienna.”
Gods, I wish she could just be Sienna out there.In reality. But she’d never allow herself the vulnerability.
At least now I know why.
Something in her expression breaks, a wall crumbling. “I’m tired of pretending,” she whispers. “Tired of being strong all the time.”
“Then don’t be. Not here.”
She leans forward, resting her forehead against mine. The simple contact sends warmth through my entire body. “This is dangerous,” she murmurs. “Caring about you. About any of this.”
“I know.” I slide my arms around her, pulling her closer. She fits against me perfectly, her head tucked under my chin. In another world, we would have been made for each other. “But maybe some risks are worth taking.”
We sit like that for a long moment, just holding each other. I can feel her heartbeat against my chest, steady and strong, and her legs straddling my waist. I try not to let myself think about the things I learned in New York, but the thoughts come unbidden. No one else truly knows what Sienna and Sebastian have been going through during these mortal lives. Even when Sebastian returns, he doesn’t let on what brutalities he met in his most recent life. I always assumed it wasn’t that severe. But Sienna has had an entire reputation formed since her punishments began—the ruthless Goddess of Death, queen of Umbraeth. No one wants to cross her and no one has anything positive to say. Except her brother, the man who faced all the same atrocities. Who wouldn’t tolerate anyone speaking negatively about her in his presence. I thought it was simply sibling loyalty.
I should have realized the truth a long time ago. They have shared trauma. Invisible wounds that no one else knows about.
My arms tighten around her instinctively, as if they could protect her from the horrors of this punishment. I’ve never experienced anything like this—the simple comfort of being close to someone without barriers, without the weight of our divine roles. Without the expectation to take it further.
“Tell me something,” I say into her hair, desperate for a distraction. “Anything. As long as it’s real.”
She turns her head to look at me. “What do you want to know?”
“Everything.” My heart aches with the realization. I have the desire to know everything there is about her, and I can’t figure out why that might be. I pull back to meet her inquisitive stare. “What changed with you? From before you became the Goddess of Death?”
“What do you mean?”
The question nags at me. I know why she’s gotten so ruthless since the Divine Council made their ruling, but there was a subtle change before then. Now that I’m falling down the rabbit hole, I want to know everything.
“You were reckless. Impulsive, but carefree. You would dance on bar tops and kiss strangers. Sebastian and I were always the responsible ones who thought things through. You acted on instinct, on feeling. You acted as if the laws of the world didn’t apply to you. That expectations hardly affected you.”
The memories of that version of her flood my subconscious. Of the period where they were being primed as gods of Life and Death, but not yet weighed down with the responsibility of it. We were all wild back then, but Sienna was nearly feral. When they took on their roles, I followed Sebastian and she was left to bear the transition alone.
I blink away the memories and focus on her face mere inches from mine. “When you took over Umbraeth, something shifted. Long before your punishment began. What changed?” I nearly whisper.
What started the process that turned her into the fearsome goddess she is today? The one with a reputation that sends chills down people’s spines at the mention of her name?
She’s quiet for so long I think she won’t answer. I can tell she’s choosing her words wisely. Probably deciding on a way to spin the truth just enough to answer my question withoutproviding any real details. Even in my dreams, she’s capable of omitting information.
“Three thousand years of consequences,” she finally explains. “Watching civilizations rise and fall. Seeing the results of unchecked emotion.” She traces patterns on my chest with her finger. “I learned to bury everything deep. To choose duty over desire.”
“But you’re still reckless,” I point out. “You revealed yourself to Jovie against orders. You’re protecting Sebastian even though it compromises our mission.”
She looks up at me, something vulnerable in her expression. “Maybe I’m not as far from that version of myself as I thought.”
“Good,” I say, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “I’ve always liked your reckless side.”
“Yeah, right. You hated me then,” she says, but she’s smiling. “And anyway, you shouldn’t encourage me.”
