Page 28 of Escaping Pirates
Harlan shouted in alarm and stomped hard on it.
The thing recoiled, then lunged again, curling up toward his leg. Harlan leapt onto his bunk, nearly slipped, then jumped onto the tentacle and kept stomping like a man possessed. The tentacle slapped at him, twisting with unearthly intelligence and far too much persistence.
“You’re not supposed to come up fromthere,you disgusting thing!” Harlan barked, hopping around and still trying to stamp on it without falling over.
With one last shriek from the hull, the ship lurched hardto port. The tentacle wavered, then slid back down the hole with a sound like some giant person slurping up a noodle. It was gone.
Water dripped somewhere behind us, and footsteps pounded overhead.
Harlan stood frozen, breathing hard, one boot still lifted in the air, poised to strike.
“That was…unexpected,” I told him. We looked at each other, breathing heavily, then at the same moment, we both started laughing. It wasn’t soft chuckles, either. We howled with laughter that shook us until we couldn’t draw breath. It was the kind that bubbles up when fear has nowhere else to go. I clutched the bars to stay upright. Harlan was doubled over, one hand braced against the wall, tears in his eyes.
“That,” he gasped between laughs, “was a violation of every natural law.”
“I think the kraken just declared war on your dignity. Wait…” My jaw dropped, and my laughter increased. “A kraken just got revenge on theKraken’s Revenge! The irony.”
“Blossom would say that’s a metaphor,” Harlan added. He wiped his eyes and lowered himself onto his bunk. “And now, I’ll forever imagine kraken tentacles coming out of every privy I see for the rest of my life. It shall plague my every nightmare.”
“We should be worried that we’re about to be eaten,” I told Harlan. “But if that happens, you’ll never have to rub Sugar’s feet again.”
“Or write love letters to a woman I loathe,” Harlan added.
“That reminds me!” I pulled out the papers to show Harlan. “I got these for us. Next time we get ink, we can write letters for the bottles. Here, you hang onto them.” I passed them through the bars.
“Perfect! I dread seeing Sugar and Blossom again. Every moment with them is the worst form of torture.”
“Once we get out of here, I’ll never have to clean up after them again.” The ship lurched, and I wrapped my hand around one of the bars separating us for stability. Harlan’s hand was near mine, not quite close enough to touch. “They plan to start doing official dances with you, you know. They told me that Gavvet is a wicked accordion player, and One-Eyed Bart plays the harmonica like no other.”
“The true music of romance.”
“You are a blessed man, indeed.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Harlan groaned. He was keeping a close eye on the privy hole in the corner, but the kraken’s overly exploratory tentacle seemed to have lost interest.
“I forgot to tell you something that they said today,” I said, and told him all about Sugar and Blossom’s motivational motto.
He laughed aloud. “They are a pirate captain’s daughters. I would expect a whole host of booty-related jokes.”
I joined in his laughter. “That’s the best pirate joke I’ve ever heard.”
“I think right now is the best time for crackin’ jokes.” Harlan waited, then added, “Get it?Krakenjokes right after I had to battle one of its tentacles?”
I laughed again. “You deserve to be in the brig with that sense of humor.”
Shouts came as the crew above attacked the kraken, and a shrill shriek split the air as the ship lurched again. Multiple splashes were heard, but I couldn’t see anything from my narrow vantage point but frothy water. The ship’s rocking grew less violent, and Harlan’s hand nudged mine.
“That siren hunter from Haven Harbor sent battle schematics and weapons designs to all the surroundingkingdoms, you know,” Harlan told me, his fingers releasing the bar he had been holding to curl around my own. The heat from his body was a boon, and I never wanted him to let go. “All the ships in Berkway were equipped with the new weapons meant to kill krakens last year.”
“I’ve seen her a few times,” I told Harlan, eager to keep talking so I didn’t have time to focus on the battle noises. “She’s not especially friendly, but her brother is. He interprets for her.”
“Right, she’s Deaf, and that’s a major advantage when fighting sirens. Now, if we could get her to rid the seas of pirates, that would be wonderful. I only wish I could do it myself.”
“All we need is to get one of those bottles to any of the nearby kingdoms’ militaries, and they’ll come help us,” I told him. The ship had stopped rocking back and forth, but I kept my hand on the bars. I didn’t feel as cold when Harlan was touching me.
“We’ll get close to land soon. No ship can stay at sea indefinitely.”
“That’s what I thought, too. But they keep rowing to shore for supplies instead of pulling into port.”
